If there was a happy pill, would you take it every day?

Happiness is a feeling that is talked about a lot, sometimes underestimated, and, so to speak, too rosy. But whether we admit it or not, we all live to find it. However, happiness should not be a goal but a part of life.

Although happiness is one of the topics that are consumed quickly in the media, one of the purposes of existence of us coaches is to accompany individuals on their journeys so that they can live happier and more fulfilled lives. In recent years, there has been such a need to experience and share this feeling more so that after 1980, a new sub-branch of Psychological Science emerged and under the leadership of Martin Seligman, it began to be investigated how societies or people would feel better. In addition to positive psychology, which is a young science, neuroscientists continue to investigate what really makes human beings happy.

Here are tips proven by neuroscientists:

Ask yourself when you feel bad

Asking powerful questions that will raise awareness in the client comes at the beginning of the coaching skills.

Sometimes it's like our brain doesn't really want to be happy, and there are even moments when we feel ashamed or guilty about being happy. I wonder why?

Alex Korb, in his book “The Upward Spiral”, explained the effects of the senses on our brain. He stated that negative emotions such as shame and guilt feed similar neural circuits with a positive emotion such as pride. As you can see, not only positive emotions but also negative emotions activate the reward center in the brain.

Just as we feel busy when we worry. Yes, you heard right, when we worry, our brain feels that it has at least done something about the problem it is dealing with. It turns out that this is why mothers involuntarily worry when their children have no control over them. If I can't do anything about this problem right now, our subconscious mind chooses to say let's worry and creates a busyness for itself.

Since living with negative emotions such as shame and guilt will not help, scientists suggest asking yourself the following questions at such moments:

What am I grateful for now?

Gratitude is one of the practices suggested by positive psychology to improve human life. Experts say that listing the little things you enjoy, even the ordinary behaviors such as being able to yawn in the morning, hearing the voice of a loved one on the end of the phone, can help you concentrate on the positive side of life.

It is also worth noting that gratitude causes the release of dopamine, one of the neurotransmitters that are the enemy of depression, and serotonin, which increases our happiness level. Sometimes the process of looking for things we are happy with before we find them is enough to change our perspective.

Label negative emotions

Have you heard that emotions leave our body in 45 seconds to 1 minute?

You see, we are not our emotions, so I may feel sad for a moment, but that doesn't mean I'm a sad person.

Identifying negative emotions makes it easier to deal with them. For example, if you feel bad, give a true definition of feeling bad. Sad, angry, worried? Studies have shown that the brains of subjects who are asked to describe their negative emotions are minimized because of the emotion created by that emotion while describing the emotion.

I started to apply this method to my children with the emotion cards we developed as No Limit Coaching. At a moment when I feel that my 6-year-old daughter is angry with her brother, when I put the deck in front of her and ask which one she is feeling, my daughter, who visually activates her brain, can get out of the effect of that emotion faster.

Science has also proven that emotions are contagious. An anxious student can infect classmates with anxiety, while someone laughing on the sidewalk can infect passers-by with happiness, even if they don't know why they're laughing. What emotion do you choose to infect?

Hug, hug, touch

Not the first to arrive!

As human beings we need love and acceptance.

Now that relationships are known to fuel happiness activity in the brain, why don't we hug each other more?

Experts recommend that parents hug their children at least 7 times a day so that children feel safe and happy. It is known that oxytocin, the hormone that allows adults to relax, is activated by touch. Shaking hands, gently touching someone's shoulder while appreciating, and hugging while thanking those you are close to increase the power of positive emotions.

It has been proven that touching, holding or hugging a loved one reduces pain and sadness, and the stronger the bond, the greater the effect in married couples.

Then the last suggestion is to hug someone you love today and every day and give him and yourself a gift of happiness!

Yes, as one positive psychology professor said, if there was a pill that said "Happiness", would you continue to take it every day?

In our coaching workshops, we repeat this sentence many times when participants determine the steps they will take in their lives. Some practices seem so simple to people that we cannot imagine the impact of choosing to practice them will make a difference in life, so we choose not to pursue them. Whereas turning a behavior into a habit takes a minimum of 21 days, why not give a positive behavior a chance?

For example, although pressing the shutter button is an extremely simple activity, you cannot imagine the effect of the photo you take years later… 20 years later, you look at that frame and you have tears of happiness in your eyes.

It's up to you, not neuroscientists, to decide which square of happiness to include in your life, after all, realizing is the beginning of change.