Worries

Hey there, beautiful soul. What are you worried about?

Each of us worry even up to the slightest little thing or issue in our lives. Where does our worries brought us? As a person who likes to think about whatever possible result my actions would lead me to, I can say that I worry about almost everything. Probably I got it from my mom however, she worries a lot more than me to the point that I feel like she is so paranoid or she is too over reacting to such things.

The past few days I can say that there are some things that I am bothered with or things that I worry about. The top thing that I was worried about is my mom's foot. Yes, her left foot again. Unfortunately, she said that she felt the pain last Thursday and then the following day it has developed a small blister. Yes, a blister again or a pimple like thing on the part where there was a scar.

Saturday morning she told me if I can accompany her to the hospital but when we called the doctor, the next appointment or schedule of the doctor is on Tuesday and that is today. I told my dad about my mom's condition Sunday so we Vibered the doctor since it was my dad's acquaintance. Sadly, we did not get a response. I do not know if my dad texted him other than sending a Viber message but thankfully we were able to see him this morning.

He prescribed us a medicine and a cream to put on the blister. He told my mom that she has to take care of her foot and to refrain from getting any type of wound. My mom was insisting that she was not diabetic but I think the chocolates that she eats and drinks almost everyday is the culprit to a spike on her blood sugar. We do not have a glucometer or the things required to monitor our blood sugar as we only rely on our annual blood chemistry tests. The doctor said that there might be something that contributes to why my mom develops a blister on her feet.

When I told my dad about my mom's condition last Sunday, I cannot look him straight in the eye. My dad was really worried not only for my mom's foot but also the finances. He was asking me where to get that big money if my mom would be hospitalized again. I have felt and witnessed that moment again from my dad. I worried right after my mom told me about her foot. Even if I have not told my dad about it, I was already worried how to say it to him because I know how he was going to react. It was like someone was to get a heart attack.

Other than those, there are also some things that I worry for myself or my life in general. I could not do anything but to pray. Yes, I did think about those worries and kept it all inside. Where did it led me? It led me to even more worries. Worrying just keeps on coming one after the other. I am still worried as of drafting this. Worrying is inevitable. The only thing that I know that I can do is to pray. I cannot tell myself not to worry nor can I control my mind to not think of the negative things. My dad even thought a lot of negative possibilities or outcome. When we worry, we also tend to think in advance that we focus more on the negative side and less on the things that should not happen. I really cannot help but to worry about the littlest things. How do you refrain yourself from not worrying?

Worrying too much can take a toll on a person's mental health. There is that part of me that wants to cry because of all of my worries. I feel like any day from now I might just breakdown and cry. Good thing that the past few days I have been busy with cooking. That even if I tried to cook my worries away, it did not affect the taste of my dishes. There is really something in cooking that makes me like a different person. Food makes me happy while cooking makes me calm and chill.

Like I have said that my worries are still there. I worry about my health, I worry about COVID, I worry about my parents, I worry about my mom's foot, I worry about mt dad's health, I worry about my friends, I worry about our finances, I worry about my bills and I worry about a lot more. I know that all of my worries are just part of my obstacles in life. I believe that I will be able to surpass all these hurdles although I just do not know how I am going to do it. Stress is a product of worries. I know that it is not helpful neither it is healthy to worry. Do you think that we should just accept whatever life throws at us just so we would not get worried about something? I remember when I was too happy swiping my card before, I did not worry about the due dates because in my mind it will be due for the next month. So I was like, "spend now, worry later". And that is how my life has been for the past few years, worrying where to get the money.

I hope that we can eliminate whatever it is that we are worried about. I cannot advice anything on how but I can only say that it helps when we pray to God about all of our worries. The worries are still there but it has somehow lessened that heaviness on our chest.

P.S. lead image was from the hospital this morning.