Out of place

Again because of my recent article I was able to think of a topic that I have and probably majority of us have experienced.

Have you ever felt being left out or have you been OP or out of place whether in school, work and gatherings? FOMO? Fear of missing out? Not specifically about missing out on some things but rather being the odd one out. I am talking about that feeling when you are with a group of people but it seems like you don't even exist at all. How do you turn things around whenever you are being left out?

In my previous article I have slightly shared with you that with the last company that I have worked for, I felt so left out. Though I have mentioned that age may have played a role with me being left out since I was probably 12-15 years older with my workmates. But I have realized that prior to that, I have already worked with people who were way younger than them even with students when they had their practicum training with us and we have bonded really well.

When I was still a student, when no one wants to befriend me then I was totally cool with it. I have experienced being with a group of people that I thought they were my friends but they wouldn't tell me their secrets. It was as if I was only there because they want somethinh from me. Do you get what I mean? When I felt that I was being an outcast, I slowly dettached myself from them and just focus on my studies. I even excelled in class when I left the group. I am not saying that they were bad influencers but because I did not had any friends, I focused in my studies. It was when I was third year in high school where I have met my true circle of friends. Imagine if I didn't dettached myself from them I wouldn't be able to meet my forever friends.

Then I have also felt being out of place when I was in college. The first people whom I befriended was 2 female Chinese-Filipino and 1 male Filipino. But there were times when these 2 girls would talk in Chinese even in front of me and our male friend. Sometimes our male friend would tell them to let us know what they were talking about because we don't know what they were saying and worst maybe they were talking about us. Have you also experienced something like that? I think I was just acquainted with them for 1 term and then I went solo. It is what I like when I was in college because it's not a big deal whether you are alone or you are part of a small or big group. It was as if no one just care about you. Although I know it is saddening when there is no one who cares about us but it is like life is teaching us that there will really be some moments in our life when we would feel like no one cared for us. It is teaching us to be strong so that we could stand on our own feet.

I can work alone, I can be alone but I don't want to be alone. Seems confusing or was it too deep? If you are going to understand every word, you will know what I mean. However in a working set up, it is very hard if you have been left out as problems can arise like miscommunication,  misunderstanding, whatnot that can or will affect the work flow. One thing that I like in the companies that I have worked with was that almost everyone of us have to be open with regards to work so miscommunication only happens when one didn't do his/her job properly.

In my years of working in the food service industry, I somehow learned how to deal with different kinds of people. It has also helped me to make friends with other people or it has somehow helped me to be approachable. I am still shy (especially on video cameras) but not as how I was back then. Even if it became easy for me to make friends with other people, there are still times that I can't just like in the last company that I have worked with. We cannot please everybody and we shouldn't be pleasing anyone. If they don't like us then just think that the feeling is mutual. You were not born to please others so just be yourself, do what you think is right, act like a grown up and be professional. I know it feels hard when people ignore you or starts to ignore you and it can trigger a variety of feelings but you always have a lot of choice. You can stay, confront them, walk away or find new friends or new job. You always have a choice but do not ever change who you are just to gain their likes and if you were to change, change for the better and not for the worst. Being left out doesn't mean it's the end of the world, it just means that they are not worthy to be your friend. You can still find other friends who are much greater than the people who left you behind.

P.S. I chose to use the same lead image that I have used in my First day article because it was in that event that I last felt that I was left out. I was there but I felt like I didn't exist. I just texted my friends from my previous company since it was also their Christmas party and also we all had a plan to meet up and have our own after party.