Since we are still on the talks of money, I want to share a story about someone I know.
Let's call him by the name Viktor and his younger brother Frank. Viktor became a father when he was 18, married the mother of his child. When his son was turning 2, his wife gave birth again. Yes another baby but sadly the baby died in an accident after 4 months. Viktor looked for a job but he was always a contractual worker. Even when he already had a family of his own, he was still dependent to his parents. His parents died the same year, different months when he was around 24 years old. Everyone was shocked by the passing of his father as it was very unexpected. Their father was the only one who had a stable job and provided for them. He wasn't earning that much but he was able to send their children to school. Although Viktor wasn't able to finish his school because he became a father too early. While Frank on the other hand decided to finish his studies as for him it is the only treasure that his father left him. The relatives helped with the expenses for the burial of their father, helped them with their living expenses and they have also decided to pay for Frank's schooling. After a few months, their mother died. Again the relatives paid for the burial expenses.
One of their relatives offered their house to Frank but not to Viktor as he already has a family of his own. Their relatives say that Viktor has to build his own family without depending on others. Even if they rented a small place, their relatives was still there to guide him. Because his work was always contractual, there were months that he was unemployed. So he would ask money from his relatives. It became a habit that whenever he doesn't have a job, he would come to his relatives for a rescue. Because of his situation, undergraduate, orphan, young father and unemployed, his relatives would give him money. Sometimes he would say he would pay it but it was very seldom.
When I had a talk with him, I advised him that he should stop asking people for money that he has to work hard for his family. I even asked him why he doesn't get regularized and he would say that the companies that he worked with doesn't regularize any employee. I was thinking maybe because he was undergraduate or because he slacks off. It was very odd that he had been working for years and he never got to be a regular employee. I also told him that maybe his luck was in other countries like his brother but he said that he still needs to get a passport. But in order for him to get that he needs a valid ID but he doesn't have one. Of course he asked his relatives for money for him to apply for a driver's license. I later found out that he had asked about 4 of his relatives for money for that license and all of those gave him money. Though he didn't asked them all at the same time. Now I don't know if he really has a license.
So when I asked him when will he apply to work abroad, he said that his brother doesn't want him to be in the same country as he is because the salary was low. I don't know if it was true but ok I believed him. He said that he wanted to work in Taiwan as the pay was big. I don't know what happened with that but he is still here in the Philippines. So I stopped convincing him in working abroad but I always tell him to stop asking money from our relatives because it isn't his relatives' responsibility to feed him and his family. Was it too harsh for me to say it to him? I just wanted him to learn brcause I feel like as long as he knows that there are people who would lend or give him some money, he wouldn't grow up. I have helped him a few times before even if I also didn't have money. I lend him but I never ask him about it and he never also mentioned when he would pay me. When he borrowed from me he said that he would pay me back when he finds a job. He had numerous jobs after I lend him the money but he didn't pay me back.
There was even a time when he got a share from the house of his late grandmother. During those times he bought everything that he had always wanted, a television and a refrigerator even if the one he had at home was still working. I think he also bought a washing machine. He treated his friends as if he was still a bachelor. He splurged without thinking about his family's future. It took him a few months to spend all his share. And when he had nothing left, he started asking money again from his relatives. But his relatives abroad had enough of him because he didn't spend his share wisely. So he then asked some of his cousins for money. But they would only lend him a few bucks because they also have a family of their own. He also asked me for some money but I have said that I have been unemployed for years and I really had nothing to lend him. Then he was able to ask money from my brother. Nice move! My brother gave him some money I don't know how much. Take note I said gave. My brother said it's ok to not pay him back. I told him that he shouldn't have said that because now he might ask my brother for money every now and then but he said it was ok. I argued with my brother because Viktor wouldn't learn to grow up if he has someone who he can depend on. His brother Frank even offered the house that he bought for them to stay while he is not here in the Philippines but Viktor declined the offer as he said it was too far from his relatives and his wife's office. Well at least they wouldn't have to think about the monthly rent right?
I know his wife was working in a call center before. Then they had another child when his son was already 13 years old. I don't know how they are living right now but I know he still borrows money from his relatives every now and then. As with my brother, I'm sure he didn't pay him back but I hope I am wrong. What worries me if he is still asking my brother for money.
Let's continue talking about money talks on my next article.
