Contentment

A few days ago when I let our dogs to pee in the garden, I also let Dice to pee so I brought him out of the house. He is used to peeing and pooping outside the house. When I was waiting for him to finish, I saw that our neighbor whose house was next to us was about to go out because they opened their gates. Then I noticed that they have a brand new car.

Instantly, I said to myself, "wow! Buti pa sila may bagong sasakyan (it's good that they have a brand new car)". But that statement had a mix of pity and envy. Because a few days when I came back home, I also saw that the house in front of the one that I saw recently also had a new car. Although back then I did not feel any pity or envy. It was during this week that made me think how lucky they are because they have a lot of cars that are all brand new. In our street, we are the only house that only has 2 old cars and the rest have more. I only noticed their cars when we were looking for Dice. From Audi to BMW to Honda to Ford to Mitsubishi to Toyota. I would have probably envied them and pitied myself long before if I would see my dream cars like Maserati and Camaro in our street. Even if we do not have brand new cars, I was still thankful that we do have cars and that old car had saved my dad when he got into a car accident late last year.

When I went back inside the house, I shrugged off the negativities that I was feeling. I then decided to read a plan in the Bible app that I feel like reading and so I chose something about happiness. Then a bible verse immediately hit me.

"Life is not measured by how much you own".

It left me almost teary-eyed after reading that verse. If last time God answered my prayer, this time it was like I felt that God was listening to my thoughts. *a tear suddenly fell from my eye when I was typing and reading that part* That is why I highlighted the verse right away not only because that I felt like He responded to my thoughts through the bible verse but also because it is something that I should ponder about. And then I started to think of what we currently have. We may not have as much as what our neighbors have but I am grateful that my family and I are all ok and that we have foos on the table and a roof over our heads. God reminded me that I should be happy with what I have and do not have.

With the life that you have right now, can you 100% say that you are content with everything? I bet there are only a few who would say that they are 100% content with what they have right now. It is only human nature that we tend to strive for more or to yearn for more. Why? Because that is how we are figured to live. We work so we can earn. We earn so we can live. It somehow became a cycle that for some people who earn more tend to be greedy and the people who earn less tend to be envious. This is when they unknowingly realized that their ambition had turned into greed or it is when their ambition turned into a race or competition with other people. So where would you place yourself? The greedy or the envious? Even if I do not think of life as a race, I feel like I am more envious than greedy.

Honestly, I cannot say that I am 100% content right now because I still have not given enough to my parents. I still have not secured anything for my future. I still have not acquired some of the items in my wish list. I am measuring it by money and material things which are very wrong. God reminded me to reflect about the true meaning of contentment. He probably knows that is what I was unhappy about the past few days even without me realizing it. Thinking about it, I did wanted to have a brand new car recently not to show off to our neighbors but because it was what I have wanted even before. I also wanted to have a driver who can drive us anywhere most especially my dad. I wanted to have a car recently because I wanted to visit my uncle that I mentioned that was diagnosed with Parkinson's Diaease. I am still scared to commute that is why I thought of having a car. But because our money is just enough for our basic needs, I just told myself that it is not practical to invest in cars as it depreciates. So I then thought of other ways on how we can visit my uncle. Maybe you are thinking about our 2 cars. The car that my dad used when he hit a concrete barrier is still in the repair shop. He still have not yet paid for it so they have not started fixing it. Our other car cannot go longer distance as it will breakdown. I pitied myself that time but since I have thought of a way to visit my uncle that is why I got over that pity party. There were some negative emotions that has been robbing me of my happiness and weighing me down.

God wanted me to know that life is not measured by how much we own. They say that contentment is the state of being happy with what or who you have and do not have right now. It is also being happy with where you currently are not literally being in your dream destination but with the way that your life has turned out to be. It basically means that you are satisfied with your whole well being. I feel like I am actually satisfied to the point of being complacent. I know what God was reminding me and I just have to really practice the true essence of contentment so that I can have that inner peace and to really be genuinely happy in life.

April 22, 2022

P.S. lead image is a photo of me.