Breakup playlist

I have been thinking long and hard on the title of my article but still ended up with the Filipino movie, The Breakup Playlist. Though I haven't really seen that movie from start to end but I love the duet song of Sarah and Piolo in the movie.

I cannot remember the last time I opened my Spotify account nor the last time that I listened to any music. When I was about to bathe our dogs, I felt like I want to play some music while bathing them and so I did. As I opened my Spotify, the recently played playlist that showed on to the screen was EXercise and songs from the 90s. I wasn't in the mood for 90s and did not want to look for other playlist and so I went with the former.

EXercise playlist was the playlist that I made few years ago when I was healing my broken heart. It is a list of songs not only heartbreaking songs but also songs that reminds me of him and also the songs that I used to play when I was at work especially when I was on opening shift because I had to set up the tables and chairs before we open the restaurant to our guest. I named it EXercise because it is what I planned to listen to while exercising and I emphasized more with the "EX" to motivate me and push my limits.

Have you had your heart broken before? How did you cope up? I have had my heart broken twice and most of you may have know it by now. During my first heartbreak, I did a lot of things, smoke a lot of cigarettes and drank a lot of liquors every night. I even hurt myself by punching the wall, slashing my wrist but not that deep because my friends at work have stopped me and I even burned my forearm with cigarette. I also flirted with other guys for me to get over my first love. Did it work? Nope, it didn't.

For my second heartbreak, I didn't resort to how I was before but I wanted to feel more pain physically rather than emotionally. I did not hurt myself by punching the wall, slashing my wrist or burning my forearm with a cigarette but I did a lot of exercise everday to the point of exhausting myself. My mind was telling me that I need to lose weight and look pretty so that if the time comes that I'll meet him again, I wouldn't be the person whom he took for granted. Sadly, I strained my hamstring that there was a time that it was hard for me to even walk. So I stopped exercising until this day. LOL.

For my friends they said that what I did to myself was torture but they were happy that I did not think of anything stoopid like how I hurt myself before. It maybe really be a torture for everybody but it was enough to motivate me to push my limits. But even if I did tire myself before, I did not lose weight. LOL. Because when I took a break after I strained my hamstring, I was able to enjoy life without thinking about him by having out of town trips with family and friends. Other than that, I spent most of my time with the people I love and who loves me too and lastly I have learned to love myself no matter what my size and weight is.

Did you also have a breakup playlist when you got your heart broken? Or what were the songs that you've listened to when you were in the healing stage? Some of the songs that are on my playlist is IDGAF by Dua Lipa, Too Good at Goodbyes by Sam Smith, Why by Avril Lavigne and many other songs. IDGAF was the first song that played even if it was on shuffle play. The first thing that I remembered with the song was not him but the ringing tone that I have purchased on iTunes. LOL. I miss hearing it whenever my phone rings. I have to have an iPhone by the end of this year. I MUST! LOL. There are also some apps that I have purchased that I am paying monthly and annually that is why I have to have it.

Anyhow, when I was listening to the songs this morning, there is something inside me that makes me want to go back to exercising. I know that it's going to be May in few days and it is what I have said to myself during the start of this year that I will start to exercise. Let's just wait and see if I will have that fire in me to start my fitness journey. But so far I am happy to feel that I really miss working out when I heard those songs.

Did I think about him while listening to those songs? A little but my mind was more into making this into an article. Thanks to him I was able to think of a topic to publish today.

If you are going through a heartbreak, my advice is for you to try something that you haven't done before. Now that there are a lot of restrictions during our present situation with regards to travelling, you can try cooking, baking, painting, gardening, jewelry making, sewing, crochet, cross stitch or anything that you can do at the comfort of our homes. You can also do exercise or yoga. Try not to think about the life you've had when yoi were still with him. If the four corners you are living in right now reminds you of your ex, try to move in with your parents, relatives or friends if possible. Also talk to your family or your friends about what you're going through
as they might help. I do not know how long it will take you to mend your broken heart but you have to know that healing starts with you. Learn to love yourself first and the rest will follow. We all have different ways on how to cope up but I hope you wouldn't resort to something that you would regret later on.