Rivalry between children does not come from feelings that are unique to each other, but from their need for parents to love them. It seems that every child wants to be loved the most.
What triggers the battle between the children is the subconscious competition for mom and dad's love, approval and attention.
Psychologists believe that conflicts between siblings are not bad in themselves. On the contrary, they can be fertile ground for learning important social skills that include compromise, negotiation, and empathy.
Rivalry can be reduced by devoting yourself to each child separately. This is an important step and do not leave it to chance, but provide regular uninterrupted time for the special interests of each child, whether it is cycling once a week or going to the cinema once a month.
Set family rules
By defining rules and clear expectations of children, you set the highest possible level of respect among them. This means that they must not mock each other, hit or use any physical force. If you do not already have established rules of conduct, write them down on a large piece of paper and explain to the children what they mean. You should be consistent and also define the consequences if the child does not follow the rules.
Teach children to solve a problem on their own
It is very important to show the children how to resolve the conflict in a peaceful way. Children, just like adults, will have differences of opinion and desires, but it is important to prevent it from turning into a fight. Give each child the opportunity to express their wishes and help them reach a possible solution. Once children adopt this model of problem solving, parents will not need constant intervention.
Play games together
Establish activities, hobbies and projects that will encourage cooperation among children. Even if the children are not close in age or do not seem to have anything in common, there are always opportunities for joint cooperation. Take the example of making a greeting card for someone - each child can contribute in their own way given their talent and abilities. For example, a younger child can decorate the front of a greeting card and an older child can write a message. When children treat each other with respect and have a common goal and / or interest, they will start spending more quality time together. The study showed that the average child spends a third of their free time with siblings - which is more than they spend with anyone else, including parents and friends. The relationship with siblings is the longest relationship your children will have in life.
I remembered my sister while reading your article. We cannot meet with her and my nephews due to the pandemic and his busy business life. We used to quarrel a lot with my sister. I used to be a big brother because I was about 3 years older than her. In my elementary school years, I used to reserve half of the chocolate and wafers I bought at school for my sister. When I came from school, she would ask, "What have you brought me?" Even if we fought a lot with her, we always protected each other from others. Maybe there is rivalry between brothers or sisters, but I never remember competing with my sister.