My Papa

My papa is my biological father. My papa is my first love. When I was a little girl. He's the only one who took care of us. Because then my Mama had to go to Japan to work. Since she left, my Papa is miserable. He misses Mama so much. He drunk himself all night. I don't know what's happening to him that days. I only remember was when he was so drunk he throws the bottle downstairs and told me, your Mama doesn't want me anymore. But the bottle doesn't break. He picks it up again and again and again. Until he cried his eyes out to sleep.

At first, I was so confused. What is he doing? What happened?

My Papa is not always like that. If he is not drinking He is a sweet guy. Everybody loves my Papa. I love my Papa. He is a reliable man. He provides for us. He helps my aunt and uncles with electrical works. I'm always by his side.

Then one day we got a phone call. My Mama is calling from Japan. She told me if I wanted to visit Grandma in the province. I said, "whatever Papa and Ate wants". Ate means older sister.

And then we visit grandma, we sailed by a ship.

When we got to grandma's place we saw Auntie Lydia, my mama's sister, she welcomes us with her dishes. I love her dishes. Grandma's place is near the ocean. When Papa is with Ate at the seaside. Auntie Lydia approaches me. Gives me dried mango for a snack and ask me if I wanted to stay. She meant to stay for good. I don't know what to say at first. Yes, grandma's place is awesome. But what about Ate, whos going to highschool this coming semester, and I will be in grade three. I look at auntie Lydia and said: " Whatever Ate wants."

Past a month we have to get back to our homeplace.

Papa is back at his drinking habits. Until I was going to grade six. Mama called again to tell us we have to get an apartment and be separated from him. My memory of it was vague. Maybe because I don't want that time to stay with me. But I remember one thing, what papa said to me, "Bunso (means my youngest child), this is how far your Mama and I can be together, go with your sister and continue your studies. Be a good girl. I will be alright. I want you and your sister to have what I cant give you. And your Mama can provide it all for you. I love you."

I didn't have any idea what he was saying that day. I didn't shed any tears. I'm so young I thought we were just separating because they had a fight. And just for a while.

Now I understand them all. I can't imagine why I didn't get angry at that time. Why I didn't tell them to not fight. Not call it the end. I'm so weak.

When my Papa found a new partner he can be with. I was so jealous. Then I realize, she made papa smile. She is with him and Papa is happy. Then I will be happy too.

Now they are in Mindanao, far away from us. But he still manages to message me and Ate whenever he has free time. And become my number one fan at FB. LOL.

I just want to say to you, Papa. I love you to the moon. 3000. Hehe and will always be in my heart.

Thank you.

I love you, Papa.