If only it was me

As I opened the door in your room, I saw you crying on your knees.

I run towards you and tried to calm you down.

"What happened?"

I asked as I held your hand.

"She broke up with me."

He was so broke and devastated as he left those words.

"She said she doesn't love me anymore. She doesn't want me. She said that I'm too good for her."

I was quietly listening to you, patting you. Not leaving your side.

"What should I do, Elara? I love her so much that I'm willing to give everything for her. That I am willing to sacrifice even my happiness for her. Why did she leave me so sudden? Why?"

You were crying so hard and breathing heavily. You brushed your hair. I felt every pain in yours. And I couldn't help not to hug you tightly.

"Shhh. Maybe that's the signal for you to stop before things get worst. Everything's gonna be alright. I'm always here for you."

I heard you cussed and pushed me lightly.

"Everything's gonna be alright? Really, Elara? I just lost my world! How? She left me there, hanging and longing for her. Now, you're telling me that everything's going to be alright?!"

I can feel your anger and pain. I don't want to see you like this, in despair.

"I'm...sorry. I just want to calm you down.."

And on that point, I don't even know why my tears started to fall. Your eyes calmed down, as you saw my tears. You come closer to me to wipe my tears.

"Oh god! I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Elara."

I stare at your tired face. Thoughts started to crawl into my mind again. I sighed and give you a small smile.

"Don't mind me. I was wrong. I'm sorry too. Come with me! I bought your favorite ice cream. I also downloaded the movies you like. Maybe it can soothe those."

I wiped my tears pretending as if nothing has happened. You hugged me again.

"Thank you, Elara. Thank you for everything."

You whispered in my ear. I smiled, hiding all of my emotions. Hiding the truth from you. Hiding these feelings of mine towards you..

'If only.. if only you have chosen me.. your best friend.'