Humans are a complex being, so is there mind and so is there life. Ultimately we make our life so complex that we get so much entangled and trapped in it that we lose our way. We feel many a times that it is time to simplify our life and free ourselves from these complexities. But it is easier said than done. We have to balance so many things is life that we are always cautious about the not trample on anything that will harm us or others. Between all these jugglery we continue our journey in the unknown path of life. But the longing for a simple and free life lurks somewhere deep within us.
Now let us see what we can do and not do to free ourselves.
To be
Be original. It is quite simple, be what you actually are. Don’t change your personality and character as per the situation. If you do that, you will lose trust and respect of others. Anyone who likes you that way, then well and good otherwise don’t be a chameleon. Then you will be branded as an unreliable person. If you wear a mask then it will wear off some day and your real personality will be laid bare in front of others. If you are always as you are then you will not have to keep up the acting. Remember not to be a plagiarism in life. Love yourself the way you are.
Be forgiving. Be forgiving both to yourself and others. This way you will be spared from the hangover of anger and rage within. If you keep things done to you for too long, it will work in a loop in your mind and you will get deviated and distracted always. You will be wasting precious time thinking of those things over and over again. Be like a fire and forget missile. Forgive and keep moving ahead, then you will have very less mental baggage.
Be straight forward. It is always better to be straight forward and not to be diplomatic. The other person may not like it immediately but will surely appreciate it later on. Say no when you want to and don’t think what others will think, same goes with yes. Take those decisions which you want to take and not those to impress or satisfy others, because you will be affected by those decisions the most.
Be in control of your emotions. Emotion is a double edged sword. It can be good for you as well as bad. It is quite easy to get emotionally swayed in a situation and take decision but most likely it will be wrong. A rationally thought decision seldom goes wrong. It is all the more important when you get a negative feedback about yourself, then the emotional reaction is almost instantaneous. In my service life when I used to get a ‘warning’ letter for something which for me seemed to be wrong, I did not reply to it immediately. I knew that my immediate emotional reaction would be either wrong or an overreaction. I used to keep the letter in my table for 7 days and after that I used to reply, in that case the reply was always more to the point and rational and invariably it satisfied the boss.
Not to be
Not to be with incompatible people. There are so many types of people in this world and among your circle of known people. You will not like them all nor will all of them like you. It is natural. In that case filter out those who are not compatible with you. If you cannot filter them out then at least keep a professional relation with them, don’t bring them in to your inner circle. When you are with those who are compatible with you then you can freely share your thoughts with the without having to think how they will take it. You can be naturally be as you are with them without and acting business.
Not to be in the comfort zone always. You have your dreams and ambitions which you want to fulfil and it cannot be done so if you are always in your comfort zone. Always try to do things for yourself and not for money. This way you will love what you are doing, it can be a source of your income also and it will be a challenge to you also. When grief and suffering will come in your way you will be mentally ready for it, you will know that you can endure it. Don’t look for safety and security in everything; you know that won’t be the case always.
Not to be in fear of losing money. Money is something which will vary all through your life. Once you make yourself comfortable in a particular amount of money then you get used to it. With it comes the fear of losing it. Your lifestyle and mindset should be such that you should be able to adjust yourself with less money also. One practice which we can do is that for one month in a year we try to live with 50 percent of our monthly income. This financial squeeze will help us adjusting to real life situation, when we face one such.
Not to lie. Lie always extracts a high price. One has to always remember his lies to keep up the façade and will always be afraid as to one day he might be caught. The longer this lie continues the more difficult it becomes to maintain it and also come out of it. It is always better to stay with the truth and the mind will always be in peace.
I think if we follow these things then we can have a simple, straightforward, peaceful and happy life. Life will keep throwing difficulties at us at regular interval, we cannot escape that, but what we can control is how we deal with it in the most simplistic way. This will lead to the joy of freedom.
I think 50% of the income to be used for all the expenses within a month is too little, I think 65-70% will do. 30% for investment, savings, and charity. Well this is for me only, we have different techniques though how to budget our finances.