Death

Death – the term strikes fear in our heart and mind. The end of life is equally upsetting for a person as for the near and dear ones. If it comes not at a ripe age but at a younger age then the pain and sorrow is compounded. The ultimate reality is but the only reality – everything else about future is uncertain. Life is variable but death is constant. But something in this variable is so appealing that it strikes fear in us about the constant.

          So what is death? Apparently it is the stoppage of heart leading to failure of all organs. After that this bio chemical composition called body starts to decompose as the energy required for running the process is not available. It is the same for all life forms.

          From the day a child is born, it is destined to die. It is not known how long it will live, what it will become in life. For the parents it is there by product, for the relatives it is the off spring of their near and dear one. It is the newest and cutest member of the family. It is a time for joy. Not a single time the thought comes that it may die young, or become a killer when adult. We love the physical form. We expect it will outlive the parents and will have a perennially happy life. Slowly it grows. It develops its own mind, thought and nature which carry on until its death.

          As long as we are alive we receive and give love and affection, live as per our efforts, enjoy the benefits of science and nature, pass through phases of sorrow and pain, grow older. This whole period of our being alive is full of sensory pleasures with some sensory pains. These sensory pleasures coupled with our emotional attachment with family, friends, near and dear ones and materialistic things, achievements make us love our physical form so much. Without a body these things are not possible. Without a body these things have no value. Life as a reality with all these attachments is so powerful, so irresistible that it is next to impossible to think of ourselves without them. It is as powerful as a black hole; these are life’s black hole.

          The magnetism of emotional and physical attachment is so strong that it requires an immense counter force to balance it. This counter force is death and it has the power to repel the magnetism in one strike. We understand its power when someone gets terminally ill of dies suddenly. A terminally ill person with lot of ‘attachment’ baggage will surely become delusional in the beginning, until the futility of seeking permanence in the impermanence sets in. Here I remember what my mother said. When my grandmother became terminally ill, one day she took off the gold bangle she was wearing, from her wrist and threw it on the floor and said ‘I don’t require this anymore’. This behaviour is a type of realization of the futility of materialistic possessions.

          The process of birth is a nine months journey, but death is instant. The nine months are a period of expectation and joy, a new life is coming. Someone seeded by me is going to come out as a tender flower; a part of me is going to come out as someone else, the happiness in the power to create. But death, it doesn’t have a gestation period. In one smooth strike it ends all, all pending work, engagement however important it may be becomes immaterial.  After that it is a process of burying or burning you, only the memory remains.

          With all the charms of life, death remains the most feared uncertainty. When it will strike, in what way, is not known. What if death had an early warning system of say nine months as in the case of birth? How would we react? In my case, as I think will be in the case of most, we will try to make arrangements so that my family doesn’t having any financial and materialistic problem after me. I will spend more quality time together with family than we would have. Visit my relatives and friends who matter most. Go on vacation. Make up with people with whom I did not get along well. Fulfill a few unfulfilled wishes. Prepare myself mentally for the impending death. Alas, we don’t have this option. As in the case of birth, we cannot plan and prepare ourselves.

          Is it a good thing or bad, this no early warning for death? I think it is a good thing. It is the biggest teacher. It teaches us to enjoy the fruits of life but not to get attached to them. It teaches us that you are as impermanent as everything else in nature and universe; you are part of it and not outside it. It teaches us the value of life and to use the time available in an enriched manner both for self and others. As, when we all have limited time, let’s all have a better time. What’s the use in spending the limited time creating problem for others as others will do the same for me? Irrespective of the debate about afterlife, death in itself and as it is – is a big teacher.

          But even after the immediate shock effect of death, of a father, son, daughter, mother, life goes on. We try and get over it and carry on with our lives. That is the triumph of life over death.

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@Ashma