Should I look at the train or get on it.

Family support is important. My sister told me as I told them of what I'm going through. Three ability to talk of your honest feelings, when things look like a big mound of dirt is dumped in front of you, know you are not alone.

Yes, it will be hard. Own it. This is not my words. Spoken to me by my older sister.

I'm not lost I think, it's the lesson I'm hoping to ease into. The existential reason to have a reason. Listening to history I'm thankful I've forgotten how and what I'm seeing right now.

How time sweeps inconvenient truths under the rug, I'm hopeful I can sweep some of mine.

As I sit here waiting for the train in the middle of the night, thoughts of what life will be in the coming months ahead of me. I see people going home as I'm heading home now, but for how long can I call it such...

It's not all lost of course. It's not all from and gloom. My head swims with a sea of rolling waves heading on different directions with no outward guiding light to shine a way.

Looking back I know I've not been perfect. I deserve this fork on my path. One way or another I've reached it and while I'm surprised my sinking feeling is my inadequacy to keep them with me while I walk a different path... All alone. For how long? Only time will tell.