When Anxiety Knows What I Care About Before I Do
Have you ever been going about your day, feeling pretty normal, when suddenly anxiety hits out of nowhere? It’s as if your brain is saying, “Hey, remember that thing you didn’t even realize you cared about? Surprise—it’s a huge deal!” And suddenly, you're overwhelmed by something you didn’t even know was on your radar a few minutes ago.
This happens to me a lot. It's like anxiety knows what’s important to me before I figure it out myself. It has this strange ability to sense the things I haven’t fully processed yet. As frustrating as it is, I’ve learned there’s something valuable in that experience.
The Way Anxiety Sneaks In
It’s always in the little moments. You think you’re calm about something, and then—boom—anxiety shows up uninvited. Maybe you’ve got a big presentation or a meeting coming up, and you’ve convinced yourself you’re fine with it. But the night before? Suddenly, you can’t sleep, and every detail starts to feel overwhelming. What’s happening?
The truth is, that event probably means more to you than you’ve admitted. Maybe it’s about impressing someone, proving yourself, or just feeling like you belong. But you haven’t caught on to that yet, even though your anxiety has. That’s how it works—it surfaces when something beneath the surface matters more than we’ve consciously acknowledged. It’s like anxiety’s radar is locked onto what you care about, even if you’re still catching up.
The Alarm You Didn’t Order
Anxiety is like an over-the-top alarm system that goes off when something significant is on the line. The problem? It tends to be too loud and a little dramatic. Instead of gently nudging you, saying, “Hey, maybe give this some thought,” it screams, “PANIC! EVERYTHING’S FALLING APART!” when really, it’s often something small.
I had an experience like this with a job interview once. I thought I didn’t care that much about it—it wasn’t even my dream job. But the night before, I was wide awake, heart pounding, unable to settle down. Looking back, I realized that interview represented more than just a paycheck; it was about proving to myself that I had options, that I wasn’t stuck. My anxiety knew this before I did.
What Is Anxiety Trying to Tell You?
As annoying as anxiety is, it’s often trying to tell you something important. It’s shining a spotlight on things you care about, even if you haven’t consciously noticed them yet. Once I started paying closer attention to when and why anxiety showed up, I realized it was often pointing to my core values—things like what I fear losing or what goals I’m striving toward.
Not every bout of anxiety makes sense on the surface, and sometimes it latches onto irrational fears. But if you dig deeper, there’s usually a connection to something real—like uncertainty, a need for control, or the desire to be accepted. If you take a moment to think about it, anxiety can reveal what’s really at play.
Reclaiming Control
Here’s the upside: just because anxiety is quick to figure out what matters, it doesn’t get to control your decisions. You’re still the one in charge. Once I realized anxiety was flagging things that were important to me, I started using it as a tool to dig deeper rather than letting it take over my thoughts.
When anxiety shows up, I pause and ask myself, “What’s this really about?” Most of the time, I can trace it back to something more profound—like fear of failing, wanting to impress someone, or even just needing control over a situation. It’s not always easy, but a little reflection can go a long way.