I need my Joy back

"Maybe this is what happens when you grow up; you feel less joy"-

and it hits real hard.

Truth they say they say that when we're young, we are often controlled by our emotions. As we get older, we begin to choose our emotions ourselves and sometimes they are massive and unfamiliar and so overwhelming.

We used to be carefree, but now there's embarrassment and a heightened awareness of society's expectations. We used to be content with our small world, but now there's envy and suddenly we are compelled to explore. Life was once exciting, but now there's ennui; constant living has made nothing interesting anymore. Then there's anxiety, which comes on so fast and attacks us repeatedly, pounding our hearts in rebellion, drowning us in a sea of emotions, stealing our breath, and leaving invisible bruises. It pulverizes us piece by piece until we're all over—too messy to fix, too fluid to be held.

too little to start anew.

and that's okay.

All other basic emotions we need to survive was locked up in a jar as anxiety takes over and drives most of our actions that we rarely experience true joy.

We put too much pressure about ourselves with constant validation, we wanted to be heard, accepted and be relevant. All emotions are surging seas that could either make or break us. Adding or removal of one could outbalance the sail. all emotions are valid and important just as we are. And only thorough navigation can save us.

I never wanted to lose my joy; it's just that life gets really hard sometimes. The battles are becoming harder to win, and sometimes I need to set her aside. But what do I do when joy gives up? My happiness is tired. Lately, I haven't been myself, and it hurts so bad. Just like Riley, I need my joy back. I know I can bring my joy back.

and bing bong would be so proud.

images used from pixar.