Your Perspective Changes, Not People
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You don't understand exactly how it happened, but one day, in the middle of something simple and ordinary, your eyes open. Maybe you've known a person for 5 months or 5 years, but suddenly you get the chance to see what kind of person they are at their core in the clearest form.
At that very moment, many of our dreams are shattered. From that moment on, the solid roots on which your hopes and dreams depend begin to break one by one. You realize too late that you are in a kind of illusion or that you are blinded by love. This has prevented you from seeing the truth.
No one can understand another person's true character at a glance. This requires time, mutual understanding and special moments that will reveal the small nuances of the person in front of us. Until these occur, we often fail to see the faults of others and attribute great adjectives to them. But step by step, the facts begin to emerge.
Sometimes people actually change and evolve. Difficult situations and life experiences can of course change people. However, each person has an absolute lasting essence. This essence, as a form of personality, a level of integrity, a set of values, remains constant throughout his life and does not change.
It is up to you to realize this awareness. Without accepting all the facts you see as they are, understanding the underlying meanings of people's states and actions, revealing the hidden meanings between the lines and interpreting certain behavior patterns by mastering body language are the actions that each individual should take in order to establish healthy relationships.
Sometimes, love can be an insufficient criterion to act impartially. Just because you're in love, you don't need to be swept off your feet and dulled by your logic and morality, which would take away your own inner balance and defense mechanisms.
People don't change,
At first, everyone tries to adapt. For example, there are people who adopt a temporary approach of finding a middle ground and balance, preferring to hide their deviant attitudes, behaviors, and opinions from the person they love.
However, most such relationships develop themselves by containing a number of shortcomings. There may even be a tendency to display false virtues. We are creatures that tend to see any couple as 'ideal' without any masks or secrets.
Sooner or later, the first disappointments will appear. You will not understand how it will happen or how your loved one would say or do such a thing. However, what will happen does happen, and no matter what you do or do, there is nothing you can do to change it.
Step-by-step situations will put the relationship to the test. This occurs when the true characters of each individual in the relationship are revealed.
So what happened to this situation? How could our life, which was rosy at the beginning, change so much? The truth you have to accept in the first place is this: none of this happened overnight. It's just that real characters that we couldn't see at first appear and realizing that often hurts.
Escaping the true identity of your loved ones
How can you accept that someone you love is not really that person? Believe it or not, such situations are quite common and are a reality of our daily lives. In fact, it is not seen only between a couple. It can also occur in happy friendships and even between family members.
People don't change overnight, they even stay the same all this time. In reality, it is time again that shows you the true character of that person.
When we meet someone, no one has a magic potion that will allow us to see their true character. Many times, even the person himself does not know the essence. In order for people to get to know each other, it is necessary to spend special times together, to have common experiences in life, and to reveal both good and bad sides.
So, although this process may seem very complex, there are a few basic concepts to always keep in mind:
Let everyone see you as you are
It has become quite normal to see many people living on this life path wearing many different masks. Therefore, it would be a futile effort for you to be one of these people and to present yourself in another way.
Avoid idealizing people, events, and situations. Extract meaning from the words, movements, gestures, facial expressions and even silences that people express themselves. You can only understand a person by their hidden value judgments that only you can see and understand, not their constantly visible features.
Don't expect others to change for you
This is a mistake many people make. Sometimes it may be possible to foresee a person's character. Even if you know their flaws and see that they can hurt you, “When you're with me, everything will be different. It will change over time.” you can say.
Unfortunately, that will not be the case at all. People usually do not change much of their original character, traditions, needs and lifestyles. You will only be waiting in vain for a positive change, and this will only lead to a decrease in your self-confidence and hope. Be careful, because this situation can very easily become dangerous and painful.
The problem with sincere people is that they think everyone is like them. Therefore, it can be very difficult for them to see that others can live their lives behind a mask.
Just like what I have learned that a person's characteristic and feeling won't change that easily. It's not like a switch that you want to turn on just just click on, and off just click off. It takes time.