Three Things I learned in Love and Life
The past few months have been filled with lessons and stories. Some I am too ashamed to share and others that I feel should be shared. I say it because I believe that some might relate and learn from my mistakes.
In this article, I would like to share some of the things I have learned about life based on what I have experienced in my months away from writing.
1. People make time for those they care about
Ever found yourself in a situationship or something more than friendship but less than a relationship? Well, I believe that there are many who can relate especially in today's dating setup. It is a messy situation to find oneself in. It is filled with doubts and hopes. A mix of love and hate, and everything in between.
There were moments when I let delusions fool me into thinking that receiving mixed signals are understandable. I let myself believe that it is part of the getting to know process. However, as time went on and I learn to value myself, I realized that the people who value you will make time and effort for you. They will not make you question where you stand in their life. You will know your place is by their side, and if that is not clear then it is a clear sign that you should walk away.
Do not let yourself believe that you can make someone change their mind just by loving them more. The more you give, the more they start to take advantage of you.
2. Set boundaries and firmly stick to them
Relating to the last statement, having firm boundaries will ensure that you will not be taken advantage of. Do not be afraid to lose people in the process of sticking up for yourself. The people who truly care for you will respect the boundaries you placed, and the people who will disrespect your boundaries are people you do not want in your life. So do not be afraid to be honest with yourself.
Sit with yourself once in a while and determine what your values are. Get to know what makes you feel bad and what are the things you don't want in your life. Then learn how to firmly place the boundaries in your life. Do not be hesitant in protecting your peace. Remember that you are the only one who can protect your sanity. It is your responsibility to keep your life in order.
3. Do not settle for less just because you are lonely
I get it. Sometimes, the nights are so cold that we just want someone to be there for us. We want to hear sweet nothings from a person who claims to be ours. We want to hold someone else's hands while walking. We want someone to be there for us when we are too tired to show up for ourselves. Sometimes, the temptation of being in the company of someone wrong is more enticing that being with our own company.
However, I urge you to sit with yourself. Sit with your sadness and embrace the silence of being alone. No, I am not telling you to isolate yourself. I am encouraging you to love yourself enough to sit through with your own emotions. Do not let yourself drown from distraction. Do not lose yourself in someone's embrace, someone's kisses just because you are afraid of seeing your own shadow.
Do not settle for a half-love. Do not do yourself like that. You are deserving of receiving genuine love. Youa re deserving of being with someone who will fully love you just as much as you love yourself. So, I urge you to not let the temptation of being the half of someone else distract you from becoming your whole self.
Looking back
There were situations that kept repeating themselves. Mostly because I was stubborn and did not learn the first few times around, so I keep finding myself in similar situations even though I am with different people. However, I want to believe that I am now seriously starting to be open to the lessons. I believe that I have learned my lessons now.
I am now ready to allow myself to be whole, while being open in finding someone who I can experience life with. I do not have to rush things. I am letting life flows the way it wants to. I am letting go of expectations and just living my life grateful for the lessons and the experiences.
I hope that you and I can embark on this journey together. It is funny how I started this blog two years ago in my self-love journey and still now I am still writing about it. I just this just goes to show that self-love has no end destination. It is a continuous process of always choosing to be kind to yourself. It is a conscious effort to do what is good for you without hurting others.
