My name is something that is not commonly seen. I have yet to meet someone who shares my first name.
As a child, it is a source of insecurity for me. Especially during the 3rd grade where we had to take the first National Achievement Test. We were reviewing and we were given some mock questionnaire along with answer sheets and there was no dash in the bubbled letters for the name.
I remember the snickers of my classmates when I asked the teacher about what to do with my name. After that, I learned how to stay silent and I became more hesitant to ask for help.
I think children have some mean way of making someone feel bad especially when they have something that is noticeably different. Back then, I had trouble introducing myself and instead opting to say my nickname rather than my name.
Growing up, I have learned how to embrace my name. And I finally found people who did not make fun of me because of my name. They are the ones who first showed an interest about the story of my name and I was glad when I could finally say it to someone.
The truth is, my name actually have a beautiful meaning. Sure, it brought me some hard times especially when my classmates and teachers have trouble pronouncing and writing it. However, it is a meaningful name that my parents carefully thought through.
My name comes from Qur'an. It is picked by my father who changed his religion to Islam. He chose it for the meaning of the name, "full of wisdom".
In high school, some of my friends told me that my name suits me because they can always come to me for advice. I thought they were just pulling my leg but they remained firm in what they said until I finally realized that they mean it.
This one moment changed how I looked at my name. I used to not want to say it because I feel like it is not for me. I always felt like I was someone who do not understand a lot of things, and it is true. But now, I realized that being wise does not equate to knowing everything; it it knowing when to do something or when to wait.
This is something that came to my mind as I was crocheting today and I feel like writing it down immediately. So I apologize if it does not make that much sense because I am free writing this and I do not want to stop too much because it will make the activity useless.
This article is mostly just to get things iut of my system, with the focus being on my relationship with my name. A relayionship that started from distant and cold to something resembling a friendly companionship.
My name is the same as my shadow, it will always be a part of me. Even if I changed my name to something else, the name I have been given will always also reflect the version of me that existed when I was carrying it.
I actually like that I was named to be full of wisdom instead of being named beautiful. There is nothing wrong with being beautiful but personally I find that being described for what is on my mind and what I share is infintely better than being described for my physical appearance.
That is not to say that being praised for being physically beautiful is a bad thing. It is a good thing, but I also believe that each of us is more than just a pretty or handsome face. We are not defined by what we looked like on the outside.
I also like knowing that if my friends ever need help, they will reach out to me when they know that I can help. So in the end, I think, my parents made the right decision to call me by my name.
If you want to read more of my articles, I have made a list of all the past articles I published to make it easier for you to find one that might catch your interest.
Here is the link for my May 2021 articles: https://read.cash/@ZehraSky/may-2021-articles-summary---59e3f5b8
Here is the 1st week of June 2021 articles: https://read.cash/@ZehraSky/week-1-june-2021-articles-summary-6e15cf71
Thank you for reading my article, guys!
