This idiom might be familiar to most of us. It is used to refer to situations where both choices are unacceptable. Between two equally difficult or unacceptable choices.
There are times when we may encounter problems that we feel like we are powerless to do anything that can change or solve the situation. These are the times that I usually refer to as my dark days.
In my 20 years of existence, I have encountered situations like these many times. Sure, some of you might be scoffing and then rolling your eyes thinking that I have yet to experience the real world and here I am already "whining". If what I just described is something that you just did, I would urge you to change your mindset but I know that people like you never really change.
I do not see the point in comparing my challenges with others. Life is already hard enough without the competition so why bother one-upping someone else? Them having a hard time do not affect that I also have my own problems to face.
A mother of three can be tired but it is no reason for her to try and belittle the struggles of her single friend. We all experienced different things. What might be difficult for you is easy for others, and what is tolerable to you might be the last thing that pushed someone off the edge.
Saying this, I would like to share the things I did when I was stuck between a rock and a hard place. These are the things that usually helped me keep calm so that I can face the storm without falling apart.
Remembering my goals
This is the reason why I think having a clear goal before doing something is important because you usually have some sort of guidelines of where you want to be. In a situation where a loss is guaranteed, knowing my goals helped me not regret the loss and keep me moving forwards.
Goals are there to help me remember what is important to me and what is not. It also prevents me from sacrificing something that is important for me over something that I can afford to lose.
For example, during high school, I would not take care of myself because of my school activities. This was the time when I am still not sure of what my goals are, so I was overwhelmed every time. I think that someone with a still-developing mind encountering dozens of activities, homework, quizzes, and group activities on the same day every day was bound to have breakdowns.
This experience led to what would have been a decision that would destroy the hearts of my family had I not regain my wit at the right moment. This unexpected spark of clarity made an unimaginable situation to something that is hard to handle but is still better than the alternative.
I imagine that the few precious minutes on when I asked my parents to take me to the hospital was one of their between a rock and hard place moments. They could take me to the hospital immediately but lose their earnings for that day during a difficult moment in our lives. Their clear mindset of what was important to them is what saved me that day.
Following that moment, I knew that I would have to set my goals clearly so that in moments where loss is inevitable, I could at least ensure that it is a loss that I can afford to have. I do not want to end up sacrificing something that is important to me because some other matters seemed pressing at the time.
So clearly remember your goals. If money is more important than family, then when faced with decisions involving those, you know that you are okay with losing family time so you can earn more money. When studying, ask yourself if your health is more important than your grades. If your answer is sleep is for the weak, then you can keep pulling all-nighters to your heart's content.
I am not here to tell you what should be more important in the scenarios that I gave you. They were just examples that do not reflect my stance nor my personal opinions on the matter. This is something that should be personal, not something that you are choosing because some strangers on the internet told you to choose that choice.
Having not just one backup plan
This is important when dealing with matters that can make or break a situation. When I decide on something, I make sure that it is a decision that I will push through no matter what happens. Does this guarantee success and happiness every time? Of course not. There were far too many times down the line when I wished I could have had chosen a different choice. However, that is just wishful thinking so I learned to have multiple backup plans in place, in case of an appearance of something that will mean changing my decision halfway through.
I learned that sometimes what was the best choice for the time the decision was made might no longer be the best decision a few months down the line, so I learned to plan something just in case those kinds of situations happen.
Calling my support system
I call them not to ask them what I should do but more on helping me remind myself that I am not alone. When faced with a difficult situation, it is easy to feel like I am alone. However, I learned that reaching out to the people who support me helped make a world of difference.
I learned that there are people who are willing to lend a crying shoulder or give a helping hand if I just tell them what is happening. Sometimes, we feel alone because we never told others what is going on in our lives then we feel wronged because no one seems to know that we are struggling.
Remember that everyone has their own problems too, so if we will not reach out to tell them then they might assume that we do not want to talk about it. Sometimes, people are just waiting for you to breach the topic so that they know that it is something you are open to talking about.
These are 3 things that personally helped me. Our way of coping might be different so feel free to let us know about yours. Maybe all of us can find something that is more efficient than our current system of coping.
If you are interested in reading more articles, feel free to check out my list of all the articles I wrote last May. Here is the link: https://read.cash/@ZehraSky/may-2021-articles-summary-59e3f5b8
Also please look forward to the summary list of the articles I made during the first week of June 2021. I feel kind of tired and drained a lot these days so it might come in later than expected but I will do my best to publish it as soon as I can.
As always, I want to end my article by thanking the wonderful people who showed support to my previous article.
@DM
