It has been a long time since my last post here. I was so busy with everything around me that I did not have the time to even open this account. However, it did not mean that I have forgotten about its existence.

How could I even forget this site when it has become a sort of a diary for what is happening in my life. In here, I met amazing people and learned interesting things. Alas, real life has a way of tearing me apart from my virtual bubble. I had to choose my battles carefully since I only had limited energy.

Plenty of Goodbyes

At the peak of my busiest schedule, I had to say goodbye a lot of times. Some goodbyes were so unexpected that I guess I still have trouble coming to terms with it.

The first goodbye is the one I expected. It is saying goodbye to social media for a while. Well, I do still use social media but not as much as usual. Most times, I would just use Facebook for some random memes and go offline again. I was too focused on my academic life that I did not have time for anything else.

Next, I almost said goodbye to a friend due to our busy schedules and lack of communication. It was worrying as we were on the verge of falling out. Thankfully, we managed to patch the problem despite it all. There is still lingering awkwardness but all is well, and time will help our friendship for sure.

I also said goodbye to one of my constants for almost three years. It was an ending that I foresaw coming but I did hope a little that maybe it would not come. However, some things are meant to end and I am learning to accept that this is something that is part of that. Change is a difficult thing to fight after all. If I am being honest, there are days when I would doubt my decision to let the story end as it had but then I would remember that it is probably for the best that things ended when it had.

Lastly, I had to say goodbye to my thesis group who unexpectedly became almost like a second family to me. We have finished defending our thesis and are currently revising it for hardbound publication but the days where we are staying under one roof are gone. No longer will we see each other as we wake up, nor will we hear each other's voices before we fall asleep. Still, our time spent together helped me in ways that they would never know.

New friends and opportunities

Despite the fact that I faced plenty of goodbyes in the time that I was gone, I also gained a lot of things. First of all, I gained new perspective in things especially in the relationship aspect of my life. If before I would have been satisfied with what a partner could give even though it is not what I wanted or needed, now I realized that I would never find true satisfaction that way. So, instead of trying to fold my needs so that it could be small enough for someone to give me, I am focusing on pampering myself until it finally sinks in that I can take care of myself. It is time to stop expecting someone to treat me well when I could barely do that for myself. In this realization, I found comfort in the knowledge that even if I never meet a man who could love me in the way I wanted, it would not bother me since I can take care of myself.

Another thing that I unexpectedly found in this time are trusted friends. After the end of my relationship, I had doubts whether I could trust new people again. But it turns out that I did not have to worry because I was surrounded by trustworthy people all along. The friendships I found really helped me during these difficult times. They became people I can count on and people who cares for me genuinely.

Lastly, I found an opportunity to grow. With the new friends I found, we managed to apply to a scholarship training related to our career choice. It is a golden opportunity for us since we are grad-waiting students. Our grades are already released so we know that the end of our college life is drawing near. Thus, we are already looking for a way to grow our skills so that we will have an advantage when we went out to the field.

All in all

That was the rough summary of what kept me busy the past few months. I make no promises to be active here, just that I will try to be here from time to time when I can.

The days ahead are filled with opportunities and hope, and I just wanted to write about it. Even though I struggled a lot in the last few months, I can honestly say that it was worth it. And though the future is unclear and uncertain, I am hopeful that it will be filled with unexpected great events.

I hope that everyone else is also experiencing the same kind of optimism I am feeling right now.