The better version of me
Before the pandemic begun, I was nothing but a paper plane that has no direction. A paper plane whose journey has been decided, wherein the chances of falling is evident so as the chances of tearing apart and just turning into dust. I was a just a girl with no plans in my mind. A girl who accepts everything even though it is hurting her, the forced attention from her friends, the judgment of the people around her, the pain of the school gives her, the struggles she encountered without someone to lean, she overcome every step of it, alone.
Moving on, when the pandemic happened, people were told to stay inside and not interact with others to prevent the virus from spreading. This was the chance given to me, where I can spend time with myself and fix the broken me. At first it wasn’t easy, because I was able to have a quiet life, for I wasn’t able to receive judgments and any foul messages from the people I know. I wasn’t used to have a peaceful and when the time of lockdown I was able to regained myself. I was able to know my worth as a person and was able to know better than I used to.
People used to call me fat, they sometimes call me a ‘miss perfect’ because I am working hard to make my grades high and I always felt like I shouldn’t be because they don’t like that. They made me think that everything I did was not right that’s why I stop doing it so I ended up being friends with them, but I also don’t feel like I belong to their group. They used to make fun of me, because of my mistakes that made me feel like I don’t have the right to correct it in the future, they made me feel and think that I don’t have the right to change, wherein fact some people change for the better but I’ve realized that there will be people who always do things that breaks you.
During the middle month of being in a lockdown I was slowly redeeming myself from being a loser to a winner. I was starting to do things on my own and things that makes me happy. I started improving and shaping myself, in physical aspect as well as my emotional state have improved. I got more closer to God and made Him the center of my journey in life, I was able to see my purpose and was able to accept all my flaws and mistakes which made me happier. It was struggling but to see that I’ve come this far, I would not hesitate to do and experience it all over again if in the end I will gain the happiest gift I could ever receive. It wasn’t easy but looking back at it now, it was a journey that I- myself didn’t know I would overcome and be someone magnificent. Without that painful past I wouldn’t be able to see the best version of myself, I wouldn’t be able to witness how strong I am and how God made me stronger than before. He really brought out the best of me. And in my next journey I am safe to say that I will still be able to make it until the end with God holding my hand and had no chance on letting it go. Which I can say, I am safe to be with Him.
Z
