Many often think that we could see each other through out our lives. And that farewell shouldn't be a big deal. But what if it was your final day to say farewell to that person? Because you know you wouldn't be able to see them in a long time. Or probably forever.

What would you do? Would you still go to them on that final day? Or will you just let the But to my surprichance go?

Well, for us, there wasn't really an option. The final farewell was today only. Because today was my Lola's (Grandma's) burial. And of course, my Papa being the eldest among the siblings, had to be there. And I should also, because I really haven't seen her for a while. Much like years to be honest.

And today was my only chance to bid her farewell for the last time. And with that in mind, I was so sure that I would burst to tears upon seeing her in my Tita's residence. But to my surprise, I didn't even shed a tear. I thought I was just acting all tough and all. Maybe it's because, for a long time, my siblings and I have been kind of like the estranged grandchildren of hers.

This was because my Mama kinda never got along with my Papa's family. Especially my Tita Nene. Because we all know her as being like maldita or sometimes very strict. And she always has something to say to you. But I realised today, she was very vulnerable.

And me being like kind of a loner in the family, I went to the bay nearby. To get some fresh air and clear up my mind for a bit. But in a minute, when I turned around I see Lola's coffin being carried to the funeral car. I knew it was time to go to the church.

At the Church

We arrived at around 1 pm I guess. Then there were already trucks and canters all around the church waiting outside. And inside was 3 coffins up front. Near the altar waiting to blessed by the pastor. And then the mass started.

All through out the mass, my mind was in daze. The situation wasn't still quite sinking into me. Then, the last few minutes of the mass, where the pastor was saying "Peace be with you". I saw an old woman crying suddenly. And I felt something inside broke. But I didn't mind it at first.

That is until, I looked at my Tito(Youngest) and Tita, and I see them crying. That's when my tears suddenly broke free. They were like hurting like crazy and I couldn't get ahold of myself. I had to look up the ceiling to stop the tears from falling. Then after the mass, I volunteered to take one last photo of my Lola in her casket. Standing behind her was the family.

Then the Procession Started

We had half an hour before we reached the cemetery from the church. Because we took the road near the busy marketplace, because it was the only road leading straight to the cemetery.

And we kind of got behind another funeral, when my Lola was kind of up ahead. But then the other cars took a turn and we were able to catch up on ours.

Cemetery

When we finally arrived at the cemetery. That's when all the members of the family burst into tears.

Though we know that she is already at peace. Especially now that she is with Lolo in their final resting place. She is now free from all the pain that she's suffering all through out these years.

But it still does hurt us a lot. Especially me, knowing that I have been absent most of the time. When she was still suffering. I wasn't able to be around much more often.

It's so much painful, knowing that it's our one last goodbye to her. The matriarch of our family is finally laid in peace.

If only, we could turn back the time. And cherish her final moments.

Last Final Farewell

To my Lola,

Wherever you are right now, I hope you are finnaly at peace. I know you are well now that you are finally reunited with Lolo. I'm sorry that I wasn't able to be there with you through your final moments.

I know we had our differences and issues before but it's all in the past now. I hope you are finally happy now that you are free from any pain.

Don't worry about all of us. Especially your great grand children. They will grow up with all the love that you've given us all. They will continue to remember you as they grow up.

You may finally rest in peace Lola. I love you always.

I hope you guys learn from all of us. We regret never having cherished her for the last time. So I ask you guys, please please, don't ever forget to cherish your loved ones.

I know I've been redundant about this. But hey, the future is very unpredictable, especially now with this pandemic where the future is still unclear.

Never ever forget about saying the "I love you's". You may never know when is the last time you could relay that to them. (we certainly learned it the hard way) Life is unexpected as it is.

So it's important we know how to spend our times well. Because it's not always unlimited. We will never know when our time stops.