Live beyond the Pandemic

Long time no post peeps I just wanna share my experiences since nabobored ako hope you guys are good today hehe ;) nasa noise lang kasi ako at tamang Aral hehe!! My first time posting here and I hope I can improve more someday 💚

During these times, I can see things wider than before. I now understand what the adults have been saying that enjoy while young, because now that I'm physically and mentally growing, experiencing life longer, I realized that everything has its downsides. Life goes up and down, knowing that every happiness is exchanged with sadness will always be at the back of my mind. Currently, I see this pandemic as a challenging downside of life and I see myself responding to it negatively.

As a person who's love language is physical contact, I am not used to giving love through just words and gestures. I hug, touch, and hold the person when comfortable and necessary. Yet, this pandemic changed me, I started to distance myself from everyone, especially when in a bad mood or not doing well. I push people away to save them from myself and at the same time wanting them to stay. I know, it is me who is complicated but how can I not be? Being unsure of everything, wanting to just disappear from the world, and losing motivation to live is all mixed up in my mind. People like me, living an average life, are expected to be grateful for the food and roof, but having this brain, mindset, and attitude towards everything is just exhausting. I feel this because overthinking is my only talent.

Dealing with this weight on top of my mind together with family, friends, studies, and relationship responsibilities, is difficult. I try to deal with things smoothly as possible but when times come when all of it just keeps rushing down on me or going wrong, I just cry. Breakdowns that make me close with death. During those times, after calming down I simply watch some movies, informational videos, or dog videos on social media. Trying to control my overflowing emotions and remembering good memories. What I need right now is a vacation trip with family or a loved one. Which I know is not possible, so I could just really use a hug from my beau. 😄

Always reminds to ourselves that there will be days where you feel better, happy and way too hyper, days where you feel sad, want to give up or felt the need to withdraw from your social life and days where you don't want to get out of bed or too lazy to move. And it's okay, it's okay to feel any of those. Do your thing— watch movies, play games, read or write whatever in your likeness, cry, scream, or sleep all day long. Some people might not understand why you're doing that, but it's your way of survival, art of self-love, or kind of rest or break from every thing that's squeezing and draining you to your last breath and the last thing you need -which you don't- is their permission or approval. Dear, everything you do for your own sake— to breathe and refill your cup of energy and fill empty spaces, is worthy of every second spent ✨

The crisis calls for us to demonstrate our shared humanity and we must make sure that our efforts to fight the virus are not inadvertently eroding people’s rights. Honestly, a cycle of a boring routine in the course of this pandemic is truly depressing but I keep going, thinking of all the sadness and hatred that I will receive if I ever stop. Also wanting to repay my mom for all her sacrifices, focusing on what's important, staying productive, reaching my goal, visualizing a happy life, and telling myself that I can pass this challenge.