Enjoy loneliness

My life path is written in lonely characters in destiny's guidebook. I see, the words lonely, alone, and isolated cover almost the entire book of my destiny.

God wrote it casually, like he was painting, with a smile; gave me a lonely destiny.

I smiled too.

I once asked, like an innocent and innocent child.

"Is it alone God?"

God embraced me, stroked my hair gently then said softly, "alone is when you are not with anyone."

"Why am I not meant to be with someone?" I asked.

"Because I want you to stay with me"

I used to be happy with that answer, I never asked why if God destined me to be lonely so that I could continue to be with Him then why did I have to go down to the human world.

I was happy enough when I used to be able to laugh, but now the taste of laughter is like tasteless bread again. I'm more contemplative and alone, occasionally crying. I want to protest, why should I come down. The sense of togetherness that used to feel so far away, I felt like a creation. I want to go back to when I wasn't created yet.

Which is more eternal, emptiness or existence. There will be able to disappear, but emptiness will never disappear. Nothing will ever disappear than emptiness. Emptiness is emptiness, that's how it is.

Now I feel so alone. I enjoy my solitude, in the crowd I still feel lonely. Maybe it was my destiny to always be like this. I'm not suing him, I feel, learn, then enjoy. I'm isolated among all the laughter, I see it as an alienation. Aridity. Helplessness. The void.

I held my hand, holding both of them. There's nothing there, just empty. Likewise I, holding hands, there is no feeling whatsoever there, except emptiness.

I sat up straight, took a deep breath, closed my eyes. Enjoy loneliness.