Goodbye Black
How are you black? we haven't seen each other in a long time However, so far I haven't missed it happy sometimes relieved, has left you far, far back
Do not let sorrow overwhelm you There are many other hearts that you can enter and possess but don't me, it's gone later everyone is happy
Yesterday afternoon I cried You're not here, but I don't miss you either hope we part forever no more black, no more dark I really hope: this light will not be timeless
Goodbye black may our parting last forever no offense be an asymptote wanted to meet but never held
I must let go
Everyone has their own way of looking at sharing with others. I personally think everyone has been given the opportunity and ability to share. Sharing is also not just a matter of wealth, for example, if we are given health, we can share it by becoming volunteers when natural disasters occur. In the end sharing is not only talking about money but also the time we have and so on. The desire to share must come from our hearts, because sharing is not only about us and the people we help but also our relationship with God.
From a young age my parents instilled that we live not only for ourselves but also must be useful for others. If we have held this principle we already know that sharing has finally become a part of life.
We live not only for ourselves but also must be useful for others. If we already hold this principle, we already know that sharing has finally become a part of life.
Humans basically have limits, we can't hold on to something or someone forever because only God can do that.
But the reality in this world whether young or old, rich or poor, big or small, weak or strong, surely one day we as humans will feel loss. Humans basically have limits, we can't hold on to something or someone forever because only God can do that. It's good that we accept and let go. The most beautiful language of love for the loss of someone we love is letting go.
In the process of letting go there is bound to be pain, sadness, and so on, but in my opinion there really isn't anything else we can do. Actually, by rejecting the feelings we have, we will torture ourselves. If that person is no longer there, there really isn't anything else we can do. In my opinion, even though the process of letting go will take a long time, it is also for our own good. Everyone's way of experiencing difficulties will always be different. Every time I feel down I make sure to pray and read the scriptures, because every time I pray I always feel calmer. This is the most effective way for me to get up again.
Pride and Childhood
Some time ago, I saw my nephew so cheerful. His father had just returned from the Big City, bringing him souvenirs. And what he likes the most is the mini computer that will sound the letters when the button is pressed and the new clothes for Eid later. Coincidentally, two of my cousins were also at home. My niece Khansa showed off all her new stuff to the two of them. So happy. So cheerful.
Seeing him happy, proudly showing off his new stuff, made me think: Has pride existed in the minds of humans since time immemorial? Or, pride is just part of the human childish soul that still remains.
It's not uncommon for us to see humans so proud of their new stuff or something they think is great. Whether it's new stuff, new knowledge, or maybe, a new friend. So I guess, this is the reason why the selfie phenomenon is mushrooming like mushrooms in the rainy season. People need something to be proud of, unlike the old days, they took pictures to record moments against forgetting.
Have you ever seen children proudly showing off everything in front of us? Proud of what he has and hopes not owned by other than himself. We just smile at their antics. But it feels different when people with the time cloth at their age do the same thing, we become embarrassed. I'm more often silent with a smile, when listening to people talk about things they know and feel I don't know. Even when they start to exaggerate what is lodged in their heads to say. It feels embarrassing.
But I thought, Aaaah, never mind...after all they're just celebrating what their childish soul wants.
However, sometimes humans act in such a severe way. They make what they are proud of as a weapon. Feeling that others are chess pieces whose grade is no higher than a pawn. Taking a step, limping, dragging on like a turtle, while he is he who has flown among the clouds moved by the wind. For this type, I feel very disgusted. However, I still choose silence above all else.
The disgust only got worse, as I began to feel that I was too. Feel happy when I know what others don't know. My childish soul is like having a party, celebrating with all the dancing that is rotating in the ballroom. Should a human so small be like this? In fact, there is nothing new under the sun.
I wish I was the old me. When my eyes are closed, my ears are deaf, and my mind is something that cannot move. Thus, that pitiful child fell into the abyss. Thus, I feel how I am the most stupid human being in this expanse of the earth.
Laughter is beautiful
Laugh. Even until your tears fall because of it.
In a million anxieties, sometimes laughter is the way out to calm things down. Laughter is like a psychotropic for those who are in a dilemma, for those who carry the burden. So no wonder, full of mental hospitals with people who laugh. They just follow what nature has arranged for them, if your nerves have been released, then let the laughter run free.
However, some are full of hysterics and screams. Tragic.
There's nothing good at all outrageous. Including laughing. Even laughter if too much will damage the soul. Your heart will be hardened by it, and your authority will be undermined by it. Just laugh, like a prophet laughs. Laughter has its place. Laugh soberly.
Let's start closing our eyes. Look at the worst things from our life. So, what happened now. It turns out that everything has a level. Black is not always black. White too. So, why do you keep crying over black, let's return to the light and let's laugh together.
A victory that is most worthy of appreciation is with laughter. Gold, diamonds, silver, diamonds. What is all that if you have to present it with tears. A handful of sand is more valuable if it is able to bring happiness.
Shahdan. Crying also requires a laugh. Have you ever heard a story, a man who fell silent. Crying the night drags on for many years and the days knit. At some point, the crying man started laughing. The pain is so deep that he can no longer bear it. Nature gives a very beautiful answer: LAUGH.
Isn't God happy when he laughs? Do you remember, when a man turned off the lights in his house at night when a guest was visiting. The guest ate voraciously under the dark night, and the man also chewed, but with an empty stomach.
Do you remember that God laughed at that time. Because such a beautiful story is rolling. The story that made me write it was able to laugh but with tears of emotion that were increasingly spilling. Lord, what a beautiful story you present.
So, let's laugh. If your anxiety is bubbling up, then rest yourself by laughing. Let nature guide your next steps. laugh.
Nothing bad will happen in this world, because to God you will return. Truly, laughter is beautiful.
Picking up Pebbles
Once upon a time I saw a child with a strange hobby: picking up pebbles. Not knowing what he was doing, I just crouched in wonder watching. The child kept sorting, he took one stone, looked at it, then threw it away, the other stones did the same, until he found one stone to keep.
What a child! Stones that are stored immediately brought home. And on the way, there was a look of happiness on his face. His smile floats. Continue to glow as the steps recede home.
What is the meaning of a pebble, I thought days later. However, the smile as bright as the happy child, it's hard for me to forget. Until I came to the conclusion: to be happy, you don't need anything fancy. Just something simple to be thankful for.
Why are we often sad? Why do we feel that the world is a collection, a slice of a collection of all injustice and unhappiness. In fact, sometimes we keep explaining all the reasons that lead to all our suffering. Until, at one point, we start to be those who often blame.
Our hands pointing to person A is a source of suffering. Not satisfied, then we appoint person B, person C, and so on. Even after all the fingers have been pointed out, we don't fail to spread out the paper and start writing down the names of all the origins of dissatisfaction.
That true happiness is what is present in the heart. One problem can be a source of suffering, but that doesn't mean that it can't be a source of happiness.
Don't we ourselves determine the path of life we will live. We are the ones who choose for every step forward. We choose, do we want to be happy or continue to cry over life. We also choose, want to keep going or just stop here.
For every wrong step, which has implications for anxiety, then be happy. It could be God's way of teaching us through experience. Hopefully the same mistake will not be repeated in the future which we may regret very much.
Life does not have a way back to back. However, be happy because God has given us minds to learn, both from all life and various experiences. By yourself or what others have experienced.
We will always feel sadness. Lamenting sadness continuously, that's what should be avoided. Let all the sorrows that hit you become like unstoppable water, flowing beautifully towards the ocean of understanding.
My mind went back to the kid who started running on the way home. On the way, his feet tripped. From grimacing then bursting into crying. His dusty knees bent, blood dripping from the cut skin. Then a grown man began to approach the child. Wiping away the ashes that stained his knees, giving a kiss to his forehead and then stroking it.
The adult man then began to carry the child. He smiled happily. However, when he was about to leave, the child stopped the adult man. Pointing to some of the fallen pebbles he had chosen earlier. Ask to pick up the pebbles for storage. I was again amazed, what is the importance of those pebbles? Until then I came to the conclusion: that no matter how bitter life is, it is not good to be forgotten.
Linkages
Many people often try to relate something to many things that happen in their life. Once upon a time, I met someone who asked what day I was born. It's like he's trying to make a match between my birthday and his.
My date of birth is 31 and he is 13. Maybe that's what I'm trying to relate.
I've been like that too. Trying to relate the legitimacy of the heart that is in my chest with the link test. By calculating the numbers. However, that's not a prediction, just trying to cheer up the possibilities that might happen in the future. Delusion to be exact.
Some people who are in love with someone also often link the birth dates of those they love in part of their name.
Some other people try to relate my one story to another that might be related to him. Is this story and that story related? And is that relationship about me. Conspiracy theories are the same way.
They try to try to solve the linkage of an event with another series of events. Some drafters even tried to present the linkages of each event into a long historical scene to create the victory to be achieved.
When someone likes a certain number so much, someone must be embarrassed and try to wonder what the numbers they like mean. Is it part of luck or because it is a special number that is considered a lucky number.
Because of this connection, some strongly believe in Astrology that their date of birth, time, month and position of birth determine their lucky streak in life. Indian people really believe in fortune-telling.
In a book entitled "Autobiography of a Yogi", Parahamsa Yogananda tells the story of a teacher who predicts someone's bad/good according to astrology and the science of calculating birthdays. To avoid bad luck in life, some restrictions are given to people who are grieving.
Today, more and more people believe in predictions. It seems that Astrological predictions are mandatory in some of the magazines currently circulating. Some people really believe what is said in these magazines, even though the predictions for each magazine are definitely different.
As a result of this astrological prediction, people know better what star he is, like me, who is Aries, rather than knowing what month and date he was born in the Hijri year.
There is another thing called shio, for the Chinese, which has begun to be adopted in fortune-telling. When the turn of the year arrives, many people talk: THE LUCK OF THIS SHIO, AND THE SHIO WHO WILL HAVE BAD FATE THIS YEAR.
Not only dates. The position of an object also contributes to whether someone is lucky or not. This can be seen in the practice of feng shui.
As a result of these relational practices, people forget that those who are struck by disaster, who are given good fortune, are nothing more than God's destiny that applies to them. Instead of remembering God, they try to find a connection with inanimate objects.
For example, some time ago my friend was excited about a ring stone. He said, if we wear this version of the ring stone it will look cooler, and if the stone will be loved by many women. If we use a stone ring that looks like this then our luck will be better.
Such is the connection. People cannot be separated from associating something with many things.
Before the World Sleeps
I close my eyes but the world is still not going to go away. People are noisy with their hearts and minds. About the oaths and curses that flow from dry souls, who need so many lakes or thousands of reservoirs to quench their thirst. But the world has not yet fallen asleep.
Dreams continue to be twisted into threads and then turn into clothes. They use it like armor. Covering up for the sake of protecting, but in truth it only binds, ensnares, kills the free soul that actually dances without wings in the sky far from dreams. Exceeding the limit of dreams.
You see. The threads that exist in the nape of every human being. Colorful. The ropes that continue to bind them with all arrogance and arrogance. About dreams they are proud of. About humans who feel happy with a little what is in front of their eyes. Blindness in a sea of colors. Vacuum in a perfect solid. With two hands expecting a mountain. In the mirror there is actually only yourself.
So once in a while it is not human that will become as big as a mountain, but why so arrogant. Nor is it able to penetrate the heavens or live deep into the core of the earth. But arrogant steps continue to tread throughout the earth. Will humanity awaken before the world falls asleep? Or, will continue to sleep until the end of time.
Until then they will be surprised quickly, about the sleep that has been only a short episode of dreams.
Be silent for a moment. Shut up the world. Close your eyes then wake up. Think about where you will go someday: from the ashes will return to ashes. About those who will still sleep after you, about the names you lost, about those who came with greed. Don't you see, even if the whole world is in the grip, no satisfaction will exist. However, you continue to deceive people.
After this. Then. Will humanity awaken before the world falls asleep?
Those Who Struggle
Being calm in the midst of anxiety is not an easy matter. About a turbulent heart, rumbling like waves in a storm. No ship is able to calm down, except for prayers that continue to be recited for all the safety of the journey. So is life. Being calm in the midst of all the problems that keep coming, in all the chaos that keeps coming, is not something that is easy to achieve.
A few days ago, I was too noisy. My heart is not calm, knowing that a friend of mine is in all his turmoil, also surrender. Several times I heard sparks of wanting to give up from his lips. Sometimes I don't know what to say to him. But I'm happy, I don't recede, I give up in the middle of solitude. If I were him, I would have walked back and closed all doors a long time ago. Escape from all deadlocks.
I am happy. Life and time have forged him into not giving up easily. Forge him into a figure that is wiser than usual. About humans who continue to want to fight, to be better day-to-day. Really, I want to be beside him, to be those who keep looking at all the steps of achievement that he can tread.
I want to learn from him. What keeps you from giving up? What keeps him wanting to fight? About everything that is just a transience. Something that I don't understand, about everything that was built but will eventually be destroyed, it doesn't even become a record for the next generation.
But I'm still happy. For all the reasons I don't really think about. The reason that keeps his feet from giving up to take a step, hands that do not know fairies to be silent, and a soul that continues to be excited to see a better tomorrow. Being wise, calm, and staying in control of your emotions amidst anxiety is not easy. And I saw that in my friend. With a smile, which is indeed bitter but still looks passionate in it. With his lips that always show that his efforts will be clearly reciprocated without feeling let down. His endless hope dies. All that I rarely find, not from people before me.
It's nice to find something like that again. Finding people with a soul that remains calm on the thorny and burning path that continues to be present throughout the site that will be lived.
Lost Word
Lost word no letters to string just taste not represented in the language.
Free unraveled the binding thread is gone degub can no longer speak breath is no longer able to come out sound just taste unbelievable unrepresented.
Half breath left explore the recesses of the soul half of the soul is left behind stay with sukma half soul left leave your heart in silence all are half but the goal should not be half dreams must remain intact manifest for real.
Even if it's half the steps must be steady head must remain upright eyes must remain sharp even if it's half enthusiasm can not be only half let it be quiet inside radiating sparkling heart shape.
Feeling Being a Hypocrite
Many times I made promises but I broke them many times. Not only promises to others, but to myself. I don't know how many souls have been disappointed by promises that failed to fulfill in cash.
Some time ago I promised some people to do this and that. But for various reasons, I failed to fulfill it until they kept asking when their wait would be over.
Maybe it's karma. On the other hand, I am those who are disappointed because of broken promises. From there I learned, about the pain of disappointment resulting from embracing promises that may turn out to be fake.
It is true that the saying goes, "you will not feel what other people feel unless you experience something similar."
As a result, I started not caring about human promises anymore. I will never believe until they say an oath to keep. If after the oath, denial still occurs then leave it to God's business later. I don't care anymore.
Smart people find excuses. There are just reasons they give, either for the inaccuracy of a promise or as a cancellation. An excuse that even sounds so ridiculous and petty.
Are humans not afraid? When later in the day they are asked about the promises they have forgotten and are reluctant to fulfill. The day when people will be billed but there is nothing left to pay for all things.
The most pathetic thing about keeping a promise is the feeling of extreme disappointment. Imagine, about the heavy rain that fell, the storm that led to the flooding began to approach. Someone has promised to take you home but failed to fulfill it, but you continue to wait until the whole flood washes you away in uncertainty. You don't even have time to die, die slowly in all sorrow.
Sometimes. I want to curse! It feels like replying with something much more painful until then we are realized: "God sees. God is not silent." – then let the scenario run perfectly, let each round be completed gracefully.
Whenever I'm disappointed, I always blame myself. Maybe once upon a time, I did something similar. Maybe at one time, I also built a sense of disappointment. So let this disappointment be medicine and redemption, for every old wound that has ever been inscribed.
Born Silent and Listening
Are we born into this world to be silent? Are we born into the world to listen?
Most of us are born to keep talking, born to keep babbling, born to be chatty with our daily lives. Aren't we a little born to be silent? Aren't we a little born to listen?
I, you, and most of them are born to keep on talking. I, you, and most of them are born to be deaf all the time.
Most people always want to talk without listening. Most of us keep on babbling, keep on babbling without wanting to be silent and without even wanting to listen. We keep complaining and complaining and complaining.
O presumptuous man, be quiet.
O presumptuous man, listen up.
Few of us are born to be silent, and few of us are born to listen. Ask yourself.
Me too, I was born to keep babbling. I was also born not to listen. If the rules didn't exist, if the sanctions didn't apply, I might have rebelled against the world long ago. Maybe it's been a long time since I've been flapping my arms to fly. But life chose me not to have wings, life chose me not to have a tongue, and it chose me to be silent with my mouth.
Me too, I was born to be deaf not to listen. I was also born to only hear what my mouth said, even if it was rubbish that was uttered. I'm not those who listen. What do I care about everyone's mouth, because of these ears, because these ears are mine. I am free to choose what I want to listen to and what I don't. Because I'm selfish.
Even if the inhabitants of the seven heavens, the inhabitants of the seven earths speak, what do I care to hear? Because I was created at a time when deafness became the mecca and insults became the word.
This is me, a man who pretends to be an infidel. This is me, a depraved human being. Because I'm too naive to say muna, I'm too naive to say pious. It seems that I am the meanest human in the world.
Afterlife (that's if you're not an atheist, you know). You'd better be rah-rah, because life is really short. It's better if you take illegal drugs, it's better if we are infidels at the same time so that in the afterlife we will go to hell, it's better if we can meet the corruptors there. We can meet great people in this country who are credited with spending people's money, because this country is a rich country, so the problem is not making money, but how to spend money. The proof is that he goes abroad for service with his children and grandchildren, even if he can bring a young wife. Very cool !!
Weird, really very risky.
Ahaha!! what a crazy time. Where do you want your feet to go?
Learn from the bear
I just talked to my friend about my trading. He is a very kind person, even giving me $50 in capital, but unfortunately I have to spend it on the trading table. Maybe it's me who is not talented at reading how the market works properly.
Yesterday I was so happy, how can I not manage to book more than 500 pips. From a capital of $ 4 I managed to cash out about $ 20. But it's still in an imaginary form, because I haven't closed it yet.
I think the EU (EURUSD) will continue to decline. But things turned around. Now I only have $6 left, so sad.
Learning From A Bear
A large bear was waiting patiently all day on the bank of a rushing river. It was not fish season at that time. Since morning he had been standing there trying to catch the fish that had jumped out of the water. However, he did not catch one fish either.
After many attempts, finally… huff… he was able to catch a small fish. The caught fish screamed in fear. The little fish lamented at the bear, "O bear, please spare me."
"Why?" asked the bear.
"Don't you see, I'm too small, I can even pass through the crevices of your teeth," groaned the fish. "So what?" Ask the bear again.
"I'll tell you what, please return me to the river. After a few months I will grow into a big fish. At that time you can catch me and eat me to suit your taste," said the fish.
"O fish, you know why I can grow so big?" asked the bear. "Why?" Fish asked back while shaking his head.
"Because I never give up even the slightest bit of luck that has been grasped in my hand!" The bear replied with a steady smile.
"Oops!" shouted the fish, almost choking.
In life, we are given many choices and opportunities. But if we don't want to open our hearts and eyes to see and accept the opportunities that God has given us, those opportunities will just disappear. And this will only create useless regrets in the future, when we have to say: "Ohhh…. If I didn't waste that opportunity first…?"
So be wise in life, appreciate every detail of the opportunities in our lives. In difficult times, there is always an opportunity to make things right; in times of sadness, there is always an opportunity to regain happiness; when you fall there is always a chance to get back up again; and in the opportunity to reclaim the best for our lives.
If we are faithful to small things, we will get big things. If we value a small opportunity, it will become a big opportunity.
That's my lesson about a bear. No matter how small the opportunity, never waste it. Not necessarily the opportunity will repeat itself or become something big. We are always blind to the future, so why run. Finger carefully. Falling is too painful.
Forget the word forget the name
At first I diagnosed that I had dementia, a symptom of decreased brain function. I began to forget about so many vocabulary that used to be stored, sometimes when speaking I forgot to say a word. I started to forget a lot of names. Like having to re-spel the names that have been present in my life, names that intersect with some of the episodes that I have lived.
The mindset is the same. I'm starting to have a hard time mapping out so many problems in a traceable range. My thoughts became more and more abstract. Even simple things I have trouble and stumble in spelling. Maybe this is karma, about me being prone to saying no when some people ask, because explaining something is one of my difficulties since a long time ago. My reluctance seemed to spread, punish my life, and make me who I am today.
So when a question is asked, it is easier for me to write down everything and then think from what is written. However, sometimes that doesn't help either. One discrepancy often makes me tear down all the foundations that I have thought of.
I started looking again for the problem I was having. It turns out I'm not alone, somehow there are many people who experience the same thing. From the search results, there is a term that is more appropriate than the diagnosis of "dementia" that I initially suspected: Lethologica. Lethologica is a case when the brain has difficulty finding a correlation between the state and the words to be spoken. When this structural dislocation occurs, the words stored in memory are not spoken. This is because the brain builds word associations and interconnected patterns. So simple.
To You
At the end of the night
I string word by word into a prayer
Sender of a day full of joy for you
Day after day has passed
Trace every journey inside
Be grateful Today, God is still extending your breath
May your time always be blessed It's not in vain to be interpreted
May happiness always be with you
Although often sadness will accompany
No problem I believe...
You are a great man that God ever created
Who always sincerely live life
Missing And Crazy
Longing. Walk slowly between our hearts. Even though we both stand in silence, far from a noise. You and I are missing each other. Both are mad at each other.
"What if I miss?" Someone asked again.
I am quiet. I don't know if it can be described in a thousand languages. Obviously, I can only be silent. Because if I speak, I won't be able to speak one language. It takes many languages to express longing. If it is forced to only one language, there will only be gibberish. Loud noise from lips that are no longer able to acculturate with a brain that is squeezed by the burden.
Sometimes, if so I will ask. "Did you miss me?"
I'm ashamed if every time I'm the one who indulges in longing. I asked that because at that time, I really missed it. swell. Hard to hold on to.
I hear a lot of people going crazy. Am I part of them? Crazy because of longing that is very, very much. Crazy with an increasingly erratic heartbeat. Crazy with names that all become abstract and there is only one name that is so obvious. Crazy…
Are you just as crazy as I am? Sometimes. If we had started talking to each other I would have become silent on my own. I need time. Set the rhythm of my heart. So as not to take him off. I didn't die because suddenly the feeling of happiness stimulated my heart to race beyond its normal pace.
By the heavens, the earth and all that is in them. I miss. Missing near madness.
I am lonely
I often feel lonely. Always. My life is only formed from a 3×3 meter room with an air conditioner that occasionally drips water because it leaks. Surrounded by piles of scattered paper. Messy cable. Mineral water. And used tissues that haven't even gone into the nearest trash cans.
Yesterday afternoon. Under the shade of overcast clouds, in the sky that is getting dark and black, to a friend I have considered close, I say: I AM lonesome. I tell you how I feel about people's hearts, those who drew near when we were great and no one visited when we were nothing. I look at humans with a cynical point of view. Sometimes ironic. hyperbole. Personification. Oh, come on, we're not talking about figure of speech. I see humans as a group of creatures who live from one interest to another. When he needed, he was there, when he wasn't, then everything was trash.
Not all really. Some are present in a sincere form, but most are in practice. Your figure exists because you are considered important.
To my friend, I also said that my friends are not many. I didn't know what to spell when I was in that silent hole. I have always lived in a world that is so lonely. My best friends, not in close proximity, except for a few of them.
I need a lot of people who hang out with me not because they need me, but I want someone who really makes me a friend they care about. The problem is that I'm lazy. I'm lazy to build relationships, I'm lazy to start. I was too scared, nervous, insecure to start giving a hand for friendship. Countryman, I'm a loser.
In coffee shops, as I sit, I look into people's eyes, trying to spell out every detail of their retinas, looking at the times they have spent in life. Is there loyalty there, sincerity, solidarity. Whether their smiles and laughter, it comes from years of friendship or just formed from a relationship full of interests.
I envy people who live with lots of friends. People who are always helped by most people.
I am lonely. Among billions of people, maybe my best friend can only be counted on the fingers. I'm introverted, but that's not justification that I don't need people, let alone a real friend. tart
Bored, God, Slaves and Humans
Sometimes a person can become so bored with their daily routine. Sometimes they are bored with the job they have their mouths fed, sometimes with the partner who has given them children. And some people I know are getting tired of life, they are tired of God. There are some people who are getting more and more crowded among them. They believe that nature is able to exist without the role of God. And humans they think came from monkeys.
Okay. We not discuss about them. Because our job is to speak, invite the best language and words. Their problem according to what they think, or what we think, it is God's business. Our job is not to force them, only God can force them. Our job is just to convey, what should be conveyed.
And I'm bored. I'm getting bored with my routine which is only almost 24 hours in the room, not even setting foot to the outer door or fence of this house area. I'm really bored to stay in the room. I wanted to go, just like everyone else: enjoy the air and sunshine.
I'm bored with my laptop which only 1 hour I turn off in between 24 hours of rotation time day and night. I'm tired of him staying alive and glowing. I want to be extinguished, then all the lights I also turn off. I want to sleep soundly without having to wake up feeling weird and upset.
I miss, when people talk to me about their problems. For some reason, I like listening to people's complaints. Maybe, God also likes to listen to people who complain, those who pray to God every day, asking for a little of His mercy. Yes, I miss when some people cry in front of me when they talk about what they want to say. I want to listen to those who are beaten, oppressed, stained, and tormented.
Do you think I'm cruel? Wouldn't it be better if such people were silent? That is, the problem has gone from their lives. And I asked them to return to having problems so that they came back to me. Telling stories of their strange and full of suffering. I do not know.
Or maybe I guess, they have the same level of boredom as me. Tired of telling their problems to the same people without finding a solution to what they are complaining about. They're better off talking to other people, who will probably hug them when they tell a story, not just someone who just sits there, listens, and leaves without a word. They've found a better trash can than me.
Yesterday I thought. Why does God forbid someone to die?
Many people are afraid to die in this world. They have cruel fears in their minds, about dying in a gruesome way. About death that makes the people who love them hurt. About death that makes the children lose their father, and the wife must become a widow. About the death they don't want to live, they are afraid their men or women will find new partners. Or afraid of the dark ground. Or maybe, they haven't got what they want to achieve. Infinity fun. Endless fun.
If God doesn't exist. If heaven and hell were just a fairy tale. So, why do we live and work? Will one day when our names are remembered in the world, will it be useful for us who have become the framework, or have they united to become a new land for this earth. And if that is so, how fortunate are those who worship the silence of the universe. Those who struggle not to be reborn. Because God doesn't exist, they have found their dream oasis.
Life is a fairy tale. Man is the slave of all fairy tales.
Humans live by the rules they created to enslave them. Humans live off the strata they created themselves to restrain them. Humans make tyrants for themselves. Be slaves to what they build themselves. Damn.
Even animals are higher in rank. After all, they are only enslaved by their master. And humans who feel intelligent, they are enslaved by themselves. Imagine! They chose to become slaves of their own will. Because of their own will.
I'm a slave too. I am a slave to boredom. Boredom takes the form of a prison that I created myself in my mind. Feeling constrained when not meeting people. Fear when meeting new people. I created myself as a slave to be enslaved by him whom I created. Stupid isn't it?
What a fool. We create things to be masters and we become slaves to what we create. What's that? Infinity. Unlimited. We are enslaved by our lives, by our society, by people's views, by the devil, by lust, by the freedom we consider to be the truth.
So when people are good, is it wrong? The question is wrong. It's not wrong to be good. What is wrong is whether we are enslaved by being good or not. When we become good to be considered good, that is what is wrong. At that time, we have become slaves of authority.
So when the people who try to rebel with all this, those who live happily, is that the truth? That question is also wrong. To be rah-rah is actually to be a slave. We continue to pursue pleasure, we become slaves to what we call pleasure. And we will then be enslaved by pleasure. There is no difference with the first question.
Then how?
Be free. Be human. Those who live to seek happiness, they are slaves. Because happiness is not to be sought, because it is never lost. It is enough for us to realize that true happiness is within ourselves. In the heart.
The real man is a representation of God. Image of God. Man is the hundredth name of God. God has created 99 names for Himself, and it is man who is the hundredth. The embodiment of God for the peace of this earth.
Footsteps
The steps cannot be stopped for a moment. Must keep walking, step towards the top of the sky. Towards the dark sky that is not blue due to the bias of the ocean, towards the empty sky with a stretch of stars without a framed earth that divides. The sky is really the sky.
"How did you manage to step out of the box?" Ask a man once.
I, the man, answered.
"With all my might."
"What about the atmosphere that envelops the box? When you go away from it, then as quickly as space radiation will hit you. Crush you, and remove your skeleton from the body. You will die that very second." Men remind.
"And the sky will embrace my body. If he is angry, then he will be cremated with the sun's fire. Or frozen me in the arms of Pluto. Or become me trash among the flying debris." I answered immediately.
"Then hurry, man. I hope that everything you desire will come true. I won't tie my hands anymore to hold you back. Look for the angel and as soon as you go to heaven. Then tell your children and grandchildren later about how crazy God created love."
The man spoke with rattling molars.
… I'm a speck of silence.
I, the man, fell silent.
My direction looked at the blue sky. There is a longing out of this earth box. Enjoy the free sky, the sky is not framed. Enjoy life without having to understand dualism, without fussing about all that is bad or good. Without having to struggle to sort out, without having to stagnate in a gray space.
God, how much more time do you have for me?
My eyes closed shut. Legs cross-legged. Sit in an upright position. Regulating my breath, stepping into ecstasy, into perfect trance.
Forget Being Human
I kind of forgot to be human. Life seems to go by without me knowing it. Always be those who are negligent. Worst of all, keep repeating things that I understand that shouldn't need to be repeated again.
I also seemed to start stuttering in giving a number of words. No word flow is the same as before. Something that comes from the heart, and goes straight to the heart. Forgetting to be human made me lose a lot of heart. To be cruel to all people, to be cruel to all circumstances.
Sometimes I cry. The human that was once present is now gone. Replaced with something far too bad. Replaced with something so empty, meaningless, emptiness, and regret. Strangely, I keep repeating.
I miss being human again. Something intact. Meaningful. Protect from evil and continue to cover all blemishes. Something He loves you, and you love Him. I miss those times.
I hate this! But continued to settle without wanting to make a trace. Standing still, without moving to avoid all the regrets that occur.
I hate!
Are you the same, friend?
Totally forgot how to be human.
Just keep following all your defiled souls. Never thought of purifying it. Just keep messing around, without ever regretting what all happened.
Don't you hate it?
I want to be free.
Not imprisoned with all the regrets and hatred that surrounds him. Able to breathe as deep as I can. Want to see the sun again with the same light.
Do you feel the way I do too, my friend?
I've read hundreds of Latins, but all that's left is a sense of emptiness. I want to hug you, hug something I don't even know what it is. Just want to hug something that gives a sense of comfort, able to release all sorrow and regret. Just like before, while sleeping in a layer of light.
Language of Death
Back then, I wasn't afraid to die. Even if I die, what I fear is the taste of death arriving. As I've heard stories from people who are far old, about how painful death is. Worth the slash of a thousand swords. Painless. Very much. Very.
What I was afraid of before was the processes of my death arriving. I'm afraid of blood. I was afraid to see blood or blood flowing out of my body that was either torn or torn apart. I'm scared.
In fact, even seeing the sacrificial goats groaning in pain met death, I was afraid. I wasn't like this before, I, as a child, really liked to see the goats being led to slaughter.
However, not anymore. The pain that drives them is as if I also feel it. Sometimes I imagine. How do I go about dying. Is sinking. Does it fly and then roll over after being hit. Burnt. Crushed after being crushed by something. Or I will fall from a height, or die under the rubble. Everything I imagined ended up in extreme pain. The quickest and painless death is possible only if my head is separated from the body. When I'm beheaded like Djenar or Hallaj.
Now, I am very afraid of death. My sin is so black, it entangles my neck to the depths of the earth. Bind me and refused to want me to go to the sky there. I'm too scared man, afraid of death.
I'm not calm anymore if I die now. I'm afraid, how much I leave bad deeds. My sins are piled up, nor have I ever cleansed. Look comrade, my storehouse of charity. Full of dust and a million filth. I dare not face God at this rate. Really, I dare not.
I believe God is the Most Forgiving Essence. I believe, He is Most Merciful. He who will not punish me is not with my sin.
Whenever I know I'm wrong, I don't stop not doing it. I enjoy the taste of my sin. God created a sense of sin that is desires to soothe me and continue to be done for me. God created the devils to tempt me so that I remain in disobedience. He made my heart clean with everlasting dust.
The question is why?
For what purpose did God create all the despicable episodes in my book of destiny? Is it with a purpose, one day, with a sense of emotion I will submit to Him with tears in my eyes and then I will regret all my sins. At that moment, my body trembled. I bow down to Him.
Then, foaming my mouth say a very sorry. The heart trembled, then the whole earth trembled with it. That moment, is when the doors of heaven open. And I went in there with a full sense of emotion and sugar.
I'm scared. Later, when I died. There are many sins that I back. And when I meet my Lord later, He will turn away.
Life is not like a ball
Life is not like a ball. Life is like a trapezoid, it has a different face when viewed from a different angle. Life is unique, what we think is painful is not necessarily pain. Pain only exists in our minds, hatred, resentment, explosive emotions are only in our imagination. Life is a gift.
Although God often says, "life is nothing more than a joke," but life is a gift from God. Life is God's way of joking with humans. So laugh, because God always laughs.
A friend once cried, "God is unfair!"
He felt that life was nothing more than a thousand trials. Never feel satisfied and never want to lose to people.
"I keep giving in, but why does God keep making me like this?"
Every human being has also been like himself, at the critical peak that forms the deep trough. The trough that touches the very bottom of the nature of hatred, and all hatred is directed to God.
Living in love also sometimes makes humans paranoid, even able to envy their own friends. But that's how life is when viewed as a ball, there is no room for changing choices or rearranging problems.
Living in a perspective of good and bad is like a double-edged sword, each has the potential to come out.
Remember the story of Khiddir when he taught Moses that what appears is not what it seems. There is something beyond a bad. Just like God's disaster inflicted on the accursed, it provides a new oasis for the next generation of people's struggle.
Even dead dry grass will become humus for new life.
Try to understand my friend, God is at work. Let it flow in your life without you looking at things dually. Everything always has the potential for good and bad.
If something bad is at work, don't rush to blaspheme. Maybe the ugliness is in our fault, but it could be that the ugliness is God's gift for something better.
The evil of prison for Yusuf is the good of faith. Job's illness is an example of patience.
Friends, remember: Life is not like a BALL, it's more like a trapezoid. have different sides when viewed from different angles. Find the right angle for yourself in accepting Life. Because this is a gift from God.
Enjoy loneliness
My life path is written in lonely characters in destiny's guidebook. I see, the words lonely, alone, and isolated cover almost the entire book of my destiny.
God wrote it casually, like he was painting, with a smile; gave me a lonely destiny.
I smiled too.
I once asked, like an innocent and innocent child.
"Is it alone God?"
God embraced me, stroked my hair gently then said softly, "alone is when you are not with anyone."
"Why am I not meant to be with someone?" I asked.
"Because I want you to stay with me"
I used to be happy with that answer, I never asked why if God destined me to be lonely so that I could continue to be with Him then why did I have to go down to the human world.
I was happy enough when I used to be able to laugh, but now the taste of laughter is like tasteless bread again. I'm more contemplative and alone, occasionally crying. I want to protest, why should I come down. The sense of togetherness that used to feel so far away, I felt like a creation. I want to go back to when I wasn't created yet.
Which is more eternal, emptiness or existence. There will be able to disappear, but emptiness will never disappear. Nothing will ever disappear than emptiness. Emptiness is emptiness, that's how it is.
Now I feel so alone. I enjoy my solitude, in the crowd I still feel lonely. Maybe it was my destiny to always be like this. I'm not suing him, I feel, learn, then enjoy. I'm isolated among all the laughter, I see it as an alienation. Aridity. Helplessness. The void.
I held my hand, holding both of them. There's nothing there, just empty. Likewise I, holding hands, there is no feeling whatsoever there, except emptiness.
I sat up straight, took a deep breath, closed my eyes. Enjoy loneliness.
Assessing Humans?
How is a human being judged? Either as a fragment, or as a whole. A collection of bones wrapped in flesh, walking on two legs, using their brains several times, and we call them humans.
Honest. The more I come here, there is a feeling of uncertainty that surrounds me. About my perspective in looking at the creatures of the earth that people call humans. Or, my indecision is a sign, that my brain is getting worse at seeing things. Everything.
There are so many people around me. And thankfully, I closed my eyes to see everything about the disgrace they endured. Makes it easier for me to smile for all humans who are present in my entire life. Whoever it is.
The eyes that I look at are always changing. Sometimes within them there is a demon that wants to be vomited out, and some of them are struggling with demons that are pulling hard by their necks. Like slaves walking in the hot desert. Hot, tired, all the emptiness that resides in the chest, cannot make them rebel. Like an empty container, there is only a set of zeros.
How should I view them. Is it as a fragment that there are good sides, there are also bad sides in everyone. Or, I see it as a unified whole. Try to add up all their lives, then calculate all the probabilities in a series of multi random variables.
Honestly, which is very unfortunate, I also live in a container called this human. Very often we see humans only from visible fragments. From the scattered pieces. And very regretfully, sometimes we see things from the point of view of irony, that the evil that is seen in our eyes, becomes completely the evil that is present in him. In fact, it may be that the visible ugliness is only a case that cannot be generalized.
As the saying goes: "elephant in the eyelids are absent, ants at the end of the horizon look bright."
How about you friend. How do you view all the people present. Whether as a fragment, or as a unified whole. Be able to forgive all cases in the fragments that occur, which may be all present in the omission of objects. And isn't it true that all humans are given equal time, to evaluate the entire history of their lives, with the hope: neglect turns to alertness.
Hopefully the bad things that have been present will not be repeated.
Yes! There is still time for us to change. Trying to balance all the fragments, so that someday, when He looks into your eyes, there will be no more fear but love. That, all the time that He has given you, you have used to your heart's content, to reach His love.
Dancing Rain
I always ask, if I die, where will I go?
Some people believe in life after death. So do I. However, some others also believe, there is no life after death. Human thought processes are in the brain, death — in medical science — means the cessation of brain work.
Rain taught me a lesson. There is something called a cycle. The earth has the sky, and life will be exposed more and more by death. Is the sky the end? Far above the blue we often see, there are millions of black and billions of stars. And I believe, death is not just a body that will decay in time. There are dimensions that humans have not been able to reach, such as a question in my mind: "After the sky, what is it?".
Why does the river never stop? And why does the sea keep choppy. Or about the walking earth.
Rain, come with a dance. Sometimes, the thunder roars loudly like a banged light, and the strong wind howls, groans, in tune with the rhythm of the dance. Sometimes I imagine, rain is one of the episodes when God is dancing.
Where does the rain go, after it has fallen. Did it just stop at the wallows? Or enter between the gaps, then into the sea he will empty. Or, perhaps, it came down to sweeping away all of humanity.
It's not that I hate humans, that I want them all to disappear. Is lost. disappear. There becomes nothing. Really not!
I hate. When I see humans, they walk soulless. They all thought, absolutely certain, that death was just a dream. They arrogantly believe that, at some point in time, when your brain dies to work, there is no other world for you to live in. You just die. Become a carcass then already.
Good for them. Man. I like. Those who always believe that death will surely come, but they understand very well that the world after this mortal end is an eternal destination. There, later, what you act in the world will be your responsibility. Then, they understood. They also prepared a perfect death. I mentioned: something beautiful.
The rain is still dancing as I write this. Down, it's heavy. But I'm sure, one day, once it's over, he'll stop. So are humans. They are like rain, dancing, but there comes a time when they too will all die.
Like a puzzle
Sometimes I like to be confused, not infrequently I even have to K.O to collapse. Well, I can be like that when interpreting what God's secret is in every step I take in life.
Honestly, I was in a very depressed state at one time, in the middle of the dark night I cried profusely. Incredibly, I cried not at home but at an inn in the city of Jogjakarta. I feel this time God is unfair. He tossed me to the highest place, as if one of my special prayers had been answered. One desire that I most hoped for, but He threw it away in vain. I cried at that time.
I asked Him in the low voice of a servant, "God, didn't I ask not because of my personal desire? But rather a way for me to avoid sin?"
That night, my fingers trembled to the rhythm of the thunder that exploded from inside my chest. My chest heaved so perfectly. All the oxygen I breathe in, I exhale completely. Nothing is saved. Nothing is left. And slowly, my tongue began to feel salty by the tears that were pouring out.
It was one of those episodes when I felt what Earthlings call despair. It's not just me, we may often feel that God is trying us too much. We feel that our limits have been exhausted as servants, even though God has not promised that he will not try a servant beyond their limits.
Life is so colorful sometimes. What was initially sweet turned sour. The sour thing ends sweetly. However, many sweet things end with something like a pound of sugar put in a glass; too sweet! Such is life. Sometimes we are in a position of joy, the next we are in a state of pain.
Life is like a puzzle. We never know where God will lead us in the future. Every step we take now, will really have an impact on the next step. The good that we live today, will be rewarded by God the next day.
I may have felt very hopeless at that time. To the extent that in prayer, I said, "My Lord, indeed You are my Lord. To whom else do I ask and ask except You? There really is no god but You. If there were other gods, of course they would also worship You." At that time, I felt the world was so small. However, as I write this, I am grateful that God gave me a different destiny. I believe, there is something beautiful that God has prepared for all of us.
Friends, maybe today many of us are sad. When your boyfriend cheats on you, when you get rejected, or even when you're being bullied. We can learn the wisdom behind every event. Lucky when a boyfriend cheats on him than he does when we have two children. Luckily we were rejected, maybe that's the best way, or maybe even if accepted, the partner is not necessarily loyal. Luckily, we who are victims of bullying, are NOT destined by God with evil hearts to be those who bully. See, there are many things we can be grateful for behind every event.
If we curse this puzzle-like life, we will always live under stress and burden. Nothing is ever beautiful and we just live life in a pinch.
How amazing is the matter of the believer, for all his affairs are good for him. And such a thing will not be found except in the believer; i.e. if he finds happiness, he is grateful, because (he knows) that it is the best for him. And if a calamity strikes him, he is patient, because (he knows) that it is the best thing for him.
(Hadith Muslim History)
It's your shadow that I stopped
It's been a long time since I decided to stop complaining to God about you
Because I understand
He Who knows all about happiness
Maybe until now, love is not worthy for us to carve together
As far as me or you so want to have.
But His power is the one who decides everything
So wait until He determines
His way Either side by side or apart the most important is the way of God is the way of love There is no sadness in it
Until one day the night darkens
When the clouds fall into the darkness We don't have the right to love.
He whispers into your conscience
Into your faith to sever me without many questions that
I have to emphasize without many words
I have to accompany your departure
I'm willing to cry for some reason that flows by itself Days, months to years
Maybe your shadow still remains
Revealed when the thought that suddenly struck
Sometimes so,,,
Yes, sometimes I'm like that but it's been a long time since
I stopped combing through the rubble of the past
Because He will definitely make you happy
A lot of happiness when you're not with me
Hopefully....
Hope in God
Slow time flowing
Playing the world with skits
Like your love
Who only plays with my love
Is this the love you give
So that I know how much sorrow hurts
Is this the promise you made
So that I know how much it hurts to be betrayed?
Is this the meaning of happiness
Which then becomes the abyss of suffering
Is this the dream you want to show
Parting and suffering?
Oh God,
This love has made me patient
But patience is a step to make pain happen
This love has made me understand
But this understanding liberates his infidelity
This love has made me believe so much
I can't even hold on to jealousy
I'm sick oh my God
Put me to sleep
Until the pain is gone from the soul
Evaporate with time
Make me lose my memory
So that no memories remain
I'm so tired
Asking for your mercy with a sore heart
Miss your smile
A crooked smile wrapped in a perfect oval of your face, singing cheerful fir welcoming the sun.
Your smile, vibrate the strings of longing in this heart, depicting many rainbows in infinite space and time sketches.
Your smile, exudes an undefined aura, giving birth to spiderman, flying superman, and crushed the mighty power of The King Kong.
Your smile, interfere with the ability to understand the intelligence of Einstein's brain, present illogical understanding, sweet taste of shrimp paste, Sepet bananas taste like real pure honey mixed with one kilo of granulated sugar.
Ooooh..... I miss your smile, Master Designer's perfect sculpture.
I miss your smile, Wrapped in a beautiful oval, perfect for your face.
Just want to sleep
Tired of my body...
Tired now holding the soul
Dimming the heart's imagination
When I carve the veranda
Silence is all I want Lay down to unwind
Filling empty cells again
Charging at the grocery store I want to sleep...
Letting my nerves relax
Releasing the shackles of fatigue
So that tomorrow my heart is light
I want to sleep...
Lie on the bed
Asleep in a sweet dream
When I spread a happy smile
Relax me for a moment
Take the burden off your shoulders
And let me snore
When I drift off to sleep
Grateful and Appreciate Yourself
Self-respect means that we are a combination of two selves, namely the self that respects and the self that is valued. I am the self that I value while my body, mind, feelings, and all my potential are myself that I value. Self-respect is a virtue between the two extremes, namely low self-esteem and arrogance.
Self-respect is not low self-esteem which means complaining; it is not arrogance which means to puff out one's chest, but it means to see oneself as an important and valuable person.
To make yourself into an important and valuable person, the first thing we need to do is accept ourselves as we are, physically, intellectually, socially, and emotionally. Outwardly, every human being is different; different skin color, different body posture, different face, but in relation to God, we are all the same.
Therefore, differences in body shape, skin color, origin of descent should not make us feel inferior and complain, nor should make us arrogant. Feeling inferior is as bad as arrogance. Low self-esteem means trampling on self-esteem, while arrogance means trampling on the self-esteem of others.
Behind these differences there must be a hidden wisdom. Complaining or boasting about our existence only makes us forget to be grateful which in the end the various important potentials that exist within us we cannot explore and develop. Complaining and arrogance will only prevent us from achieving various successes.
Most of us think that the successes we achieve can increase our self-esteem, but what really happens is that it is self-respect that leads us to achieve success. The more we value ourselves, the more success we will achieve. So, self-respect precedes success, while success does not occur directly, but occurs incidentally and is a continuation.
Also, it is not failure that causes a person to be inferior, but feelings of inferiority that lead to various failures. The more a person feels inferior, the more difficult it is for him to achieve success. This is because it is difficult for people with low self-esteem to start completely new activities for them. The bad image on him that he often complains about, “I'm a fool; I am a poor man; I'm a small person; I'm an ugly person; I am a descendant of ordinary people; I'm lazy; I can't do anything”, and various other bad images.
Feelings of low self-esteem don't just happen, they occur as an incidental effect of a long-standing negative self-image that comes from within or from other people. The first category of self-image is a person's choice so that he can avoid heavy and risky work. The second category self-image comes from parents or other adult figures such as grandparents, aunts, teachers, and so on.
When a person has accepted one or more negative images as a reality for himself, then the negative image will become an inner suggestion that will continue to work on him. He will live his life in this world according to the negative self-image he carries with him wherever he goes. When a person believes that he is stupid and helpless, then he has made suggestions to himself that make him really stupid and powerless to solve a problem that he can actually solve. Yes, he had already phoned himself incapable before he tried.
A criminal will continue to commit evil as long as he still maintains the image of himself as a criminal and thinks that evil is something that is impossible for him to turn into good. A fool will remain in ignorance as long as he accepts his self-image as a fool and believes that it is impossible for him to become intelligent. And, the poor will remain in poverty as long as he considers that poverty is a reality of his life that can no longer be changed.
Negative self-image has resulted in so many people getting stuck in their daily routines and reluctant to do anything new. Failure, shock, and disappointment often make them afraid to take risks to make changes. A person who feels more secure in living his life without encountering the risk of failure, for him, ignorance, poverty, and incompetence are circumstances that have come from there.
The assumption that everything has been there from the start is a form of someone's escape from his powerlessness to face life's challenges. Life is a series of choices; and someone who feels inferior is more because of his life choices that take refuge under a negative self-image. The goal is that he always has an excuse to be lazy and avoid various challenging heavy tasks.
Gratitude can be done by anyone who wants to change his self-image, from a negative self-image to a positive self-image. Of course, this is not an easy matter, especially for those who are used to living a lazy life by sheltering under a negative self-image.
By respecting oneself, humans can become a person who is in accordance with the positive self-image that he carves on him. Someone who has a self-image as a smart person, he will continue to try to prove it in life. He uses his hearing, sight, and logical thinking abilities to study, he uses both hands with various skills, so various successes always accompany him.
They are people who are grateful, namely people who value themselves by developing and utilizing all their potential to serve God and serve humanity in order to serve Him. Only people who are good at being grateful will always experience success in his life. For him, everything that God has given him is the best for him.
@Yokzy