Toxic environment that surrounds us.

When I was a teenager, I promised to myself that I will not going to live here in our place once I got married and build a family. Why I said that? Because of toxic environment that surrounds us. Forgive me for being judgmental but that’s what im seeing around me . A set of people who seems doesn’t have goals in life or a couple of lady meddling around with others life. I know, some of you are relatable with me because human cctvs are everywhere in the Philippines.

I am not the type of person who go outside the house and make some conversation to our neighborhood. I only go outside when I need to buy something in the store or my relatives is asking favors to me. I don’t care if they will call me as “walang pakisama”. Its fine with me. After all I don’t want to engaged myself with a group of people who always talks about the life of others.

I am a silent type of person, I don’t usually open things and brag some of my little success as well as my failures and wrong decisions in life but because people around me are mostly gossipers they asked me a few questions that I choose to ignore. What I did is smile to them or answer them with I don’t know. Sometimes they will call my son and said to him that he is smart. They said that because I sometimes uploaded videos of my son reciting the numbers and alphabet and they are amazed. They even compared my son to a six years old kid who just walk around and said that my son is more intelligent than that kid. I just said, he will learn in time. Just don’t pressure him.

Kids here are toxic too because that's what they saw in the environment. Imagine , they learn first how to say bad words rather than learnings educational matters. I remember when I let my son plays outside and thier a couple of kids playing too and then they saw a dog who was having sex in the street and the other one shouted that the dogs are having sex and then they all laugh. They also knew the bad words or pagmumura in Tagalog which I hate to hear then I asked myself, how can I let my son play around without me if this kids are the one who surrounds him.

When my mother is still here shes the number one gossiper in our street. I witnessed how they talk about the life of others via phone call or when someone went here in our house. They are so good at finding other peoples flaw and then they like a judge who speak up for their comment as if they can contribute on the country as a good citizen. They are good at digging up issues and also adding up some issues and misinformation of their itchy tongue. I have ears and I don’t have any choice but to hear those toxic conversation and feel pity to the person who always the topic of their conversation.

I am not a person who loves talking things that has no sense at all. I love to talk about life, love, religion, current events and something that can contribute an added learnings to me but unfortunately I didn’t found someone like that in our neighborhood. Mostly my neighborhood are elderly like the age of my mother. I have batchmates here or the same age like me but I don’t want to engaged with them since I studied High School. I remember the time on my High School days when I choose to walk alone rather than to be with them because I don’t want to heard their kaartehan.

Last night, its already late at night and I want to sleep but theres a noise on the house infront of us. They are having a good time and drinking alcohol. I don’t care if they want to do that everyday but we are the one who disturbed because of their noise. Imagine you are tired and you want to sleep but they are so noisy and you cant sleep because of them. I don’t want an argument regarding that. Sometimes they are using the videoke until 12 in the midnight or making a noise when the kids are sleeping. Are they too insensitive to feel that they have a neighborhood?

When my mother is still here, theres a lot of people who visited to our house and my mother always offered anything in our house. They eat here, watched TV here and make gossip here. Sometimes the people went here ask for help on my mother to borrow some money on the person who offer the short time lending business. They are so good when asking my mother a favor. When my mother leave the house, no one visited us here. As in no one check on us if we are okay except my relatives who live a bit far to our house. Even my mother best of friends here didn’t ask us. When they see me they are just smiling like a dog and I just look at them. I am not good enough on being so fake to them.

One day one of our neighborhood came here. I thought she want to ask us if we are okay or just showing some concern to us but Im wrong. She ask for some money, I mean she ask me if I can give her some money because his husbands salary will be delayed. I talk to her frankly and said that the only cash I have is our budget and I don’t have extra money for the following thingy and I don’t want to get involved with the borrowing money thingy. She leave the house and failed to borrowed money on me. Back then I gave her money because of the word pakikisama but I guess I don’t need to do it anymore as I knew their true colors.

Now, I am happy staying in our house and didn’t heard a news outside. I am happy with the idea that I don’t have any neighborhood. I am just feeling pity to the two kids because they want to go outside so every afternoon when the sun is resting we go outside to let the kids play or go to our relatives even if its far.

I am looking forward to leave this place in the future as my father also want it because he also don’t want the toxic environment here but for now we will just remain as like this. I think it is not required to engaged to your neighborhood especially if you don’t want their lifestyle and attitude . What do you think?