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@Yen more from that month

If you want to die then drink it. ***If you want to die , then drink that pesticide infront of me. C'mon Papa. Drink it!*** That's that word I said to my father when I found out that he will going to drink that pesticide. I was walking on my way home when I saw my younger sister running going to me and she's crying. He said our father was holding a pesticide and he's inside the room and they didn't know what to do. I run going to our house and knock on the door and talk to my father. I said those words that I mentioned above and after that he cried a lot and he gave the pesticide to me. He was so depressed that time because he lost his job and then my mother feel him that he was an irresponsible head of the family. I am third year High School that time , he back to our home hodling a black bag and told my mother that he lost his job. He was a taxi driver and something happened on the taxi and need to fixed it but the operator didn't tell my father when is the time that the taxi will fix. My mother reacted so badly and told my father how come we will survive if my father has no job. Because of that incident thier fight became often to the point that my mother leave that house and said she will be the one who will find a job if my father don't want to find one. We are so used with that action of my mother as she always did it everytime they had a problem or argument. My father is not a bad guy, infact I love him more than anyone else until now that I already have a family. As a said on my old articles back then , he was my first love and also my bestfriend. He's a responsible man and he can do all things just for his family. It's just that my mother was so talkative and judgemental and he always blame my father instead of lifting him up like what the other married couples did. And that's also one of the reason why I don't want to be like my mother, it is because I witnessed how my father sacrifice a lot because of her. When my father stayed here in the province that time , he tried different jobs here. He tried to work in the rice field even if he's not familiar on that job. I remember when he got a wounds because he didn't know how to use the lingkaw very well. Lingkaw is the device use in rice field to cut the rice plant. His work in the rice field became good and because of that we had our rice for everyday food. He also tried to catch some fish in the river. He made his own version of fish net and we are so glad everytime he caught some fish. He also experienced to work on construction as a laborer. There's a house under construction near our place that time and he asked the owner if he can work as an extra there to have an income that can sustain our daily living. I saw in his eyes that time that he was having a hard time doing it because he's a mechanic and a taxi driver and he didn't know to work as a laborer. Originally he was a chief mechanic but he had an accident way back. He was hit by the 10 wheeler truck of San Miguel and because of that he was not allowed to carry heavy equipment that's why he decided to be a taxi driver. Those moments were our tough times but that was also the moments that I proved that my father loves us and he will never leave us no matter what happened unlike my mother who leave and choose to escape what's happening to our family. We were happy on those times even if we only eat chicharon and papaya almost everyday and the fish that my father caught. Yes , we have financial problem that time but the love keep us strong and encourage each other to look forward positively in life. Those memories are still fresh to my life as I don't want to forget it. Those moments were the moments that I will forever keep in my heart. As of this moment my father still working because he choose to and he save his salary in his DIY coinbank and he said once he retired he will build a small business in front of our house. If I am the one who will choose I want him to stop but he said he will just get bored on the house. He said he will retired once my son go to school and he's the one who will look after him. Now he was working as a mechanic in Cabanatuan with a low compensation because he said he can't demand anymore because he's already a senior citizen. We just allowed him because that's what he wants. Year 2015 he already stopped working because the taxi drivers that time has no large income anymore because of grab then he go to province for good because we my other siblings have jobs too and we can support thier needs but after a couple of months he decided to work again until now. `Authors note: Sorry for being so dramatic today. I don't know what happened to my mood as I feel that I am so gloomy since early this morning.`

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