An open letter to a husband.

How's my life going?

I want you to know that I'm sad.

Did you know that I'm longing for your attention?

If in case that you didn't know and I didn't mention it to you , almost every my anxieties became deep but I can't do nothing but to continue with the life and be a wife and a mother to our kids. Sometimes I feel that you are ignoring me. We are together but I feel loneliness. I feel that I am only holding your surname but not your heart. My life was continuously rotating and consumed on taking good care of our children , doing the house hold chores and also thinking about you. I don't want to complain but I want to express that I can't able to smile even just a bit because I was empty and drained.

Back then , I was so inlove with the idea of life and also deeply inlove with you. Now I feel worthless and lack of confidence to myself. I feel like I already forget how to enjoy life or even if I want to enjoy some other time , I feel a bit guilty. It seems that I am a prison of unending stress and anxieties.

If you remember the first you saw me, I was so beautiful and glowy like you always said before. And because of that you became attracted and inlove with me. During those times that we are in boyfriend and girlfriend stage, I always conscious on how I looked and be more fascinating because of you. I am sure , you missed that girl because now that I am already a mother of your children , peeing is the only rest I can make. I am lucky if I can take a shower two times a day and I need to do it fast. My toenails are not like before. My hair was not smooth and shiny when you met me for the first time. Now my hair is always tie by ponytail. My eye bags became bigger because of sleepiness night.

Did you ever ask me if Im okay?

If how's my day or if I am happy right now?

I know , maybe I became mature and responsible in many aspects of life but I still misses those days that you always longing on me and you want to see me always. Those moments that you always want to hear my voice. Those moments that you can do anything just to see me. Those moments that you always want to hold my hand. Where are those moments? It seems that you're being different to me.

I am tired and exhausted

I even losing my hope.

Instead of leaving me. Choose me.

Instead of giving up on our marriage. Be brave to make things right.

Instead of ignoring me , give me a lot of attention.

Instead of fighting me , love me more.

Do you know on how to turn back the old me? Pursue me again. You already did it in the past so you can do it again. Why would you do that? Because I am your better half. I am not your maid or a baby sitter. I am just not only a mother of your children. I'm your wife. I choose you because you make me feel happy. Because you promised me to love me forever in richer or poorer. I give myself to you as a gift. And now , what are you doing with that precious gift?

I want to know that you still choose me. That even if I am getting fat you still like me. That even if I am not the best version of myself now , I am still important to you.

Look at me now. Look at me and ask yourself how can you bring the best in me , to make all my dreams come true and to be a better husband to me.

Give me a break. Let me go to Salon and pampered myself. Cook for me. Hold my hand. Buy my favorite food. Appreciate me. Apologize to all your mistakes. Even a simple acts can be a big part on my heart and also on our marriage. Just like Matthew 6:21 said " Make your wife a treasure again and see the difference".

Don't loose hope if I didn't respond quickly. Be patient and wait for me like on those times that you are courting me. Maybe I will feel disconnected but onced you win my heart again and I see that you want and love me, you will now feel the connection and the joy and you will realize everything.

Love : Your Wife

Woman who feel the love are the woman who are prettier inside and out. The glow of a happy woman is different. Take good care of the gift that God has given you.