A painful goodbye.

October 2, 2023

10:09 PM

Good evening guys. How are you all?

I am not feeling well this night as my eyes are really painful because of crying. We are now here in my in-laws house and we will live here from now on. It's really painful to say goodbye to my father, niece and sister. I thought I will not cry but not. My tears started to flow since afternoon when I told my niece that we will be going here and she said she want to come with us.

As the time gets nearer going here I am accepting my fate little by little. To be honest I already accepted the fact and my feelings because lighter each day. I clean our house and declutter the things that we don't need. I keep myself busy earlier while waiting for my husband to arrive.

When the two kids woke up we had a conversation. That's the time I cried because my niece said " Gusto ko kayo" . It's really painful to here those words with my niece as I really feel that she wants us but we need to accept the reality they we will not be on her side forever.

My father was drunk earlier and I really hated it but never asked him to stop it as I know that he is facing something. He went home at 5:00 PM and got sleep. We don't have an electricity yet and the two kids are watching videos on cellphone while I am waiting for my husband.

It's 6:30 PM when my sister came and her and papa had an argument. I became emotional because I don't want to leave the house in that kind of situation. My father started to talkint about dramatic words and suicide. I am crying so hard but thanks to the dark he didn't saw my tears falling.

It's 7:00 PM when my husband came and before we leave we eat dinner first. He opened up that to me that he is not excited to move even if we are going to live in their house. I'm still crying while eating as my feeling is so heavy. After we eat we already prepared our things and already say goodbye to my father and sister. I was crying the whole trip. My husband also cried too.

I experienced a lot of pain in the past but this is different among of those pain. I hope and pray that my father, sister and my niece will be okay. I know they are sad to and it's also hard for them but sometimes things happened unexpectedly and we don't have any choice but to accept our fate.

This is our room here in my in-laws house. We removed the lenolium because we will change it tomorrow.