The 10 Most Important Things to Talk About on a First Date

If risk-taking and pushing boundaries is something you love, then the online dating space is definitely not for you. Going on a date is one of the most nerve-wracking experiences of your life, no matter how many times you’ve been on a date before. You don’t know this person well and meeting them over an app or website rather than in real life doesn’t really help with that.

However, there are still ways to make it less terrifying and more exciting - by talking about the right things on a first date. With all the ambiguity that comes with meeting people through an app or website, it’s become increasingly difficult to determine whether someone is worth your time or not.

That’s because we tend to judge people based solely on their appearance (which is unfair) and forget to actually get to know them better (which is even more unfair). But let’s stop being so negative already and talk about some good things that could help you get past your nerves and have a great first date.

Small talk is important

While it’s nice to discuss your deepest and darkest secrets on a first date with someone you’ve just met, it’s important to ease into more meaningful conversations gently. Yes, you want to get to know each other better, but you also want to make sure the person feels comfortable enough to open up to you.

When you first meet someone, you instinctively try to break the ice and put the other person at ease. These are usually pretty shallow conversations about the everyday things you both have in common - like your favorite movies, foods, travel destinations, or hobbies. This is called “small talk”, and it’s a great way to ease into the actual date.

Talk about things you both love

People love talking about what they’re passionate about, and it’s one of the easiest ways to get past the small talk phase. If you’re meeting someone for the first time, ask them about the things they’re into and try to relate your experiences with them. People love talking about their passions and it’s a great way to get to know someone better.

What’s better, you can find out more about their personality based on what they love to do. You can also find out if you have any similar interests and build on that - which is a great way to build a connection with someone. Talk about what you love in life, whether it’s your career, a hobby, or an interest you have in your free time. It’s a great way to learn more about someone while also letting them get to know you better.

Or things you can laugh about together

If the conversation turns a little too serious, you can always turn it into a joke. We all make mistakes or have bad experiences, and it’s not always great to talk about them on a first date. If you can laugh about it together, it’s a great way to diffuse an awkward situation and makes you look like a more confident and approachable person. It’s also a great way to get closer to the other person and show them that you’re comfortable enough to be yourself and make mistakes every once in a while.

Don’t immediately mention your ex

Not everyone has had a perfect dating life and some people have even broken up with their long-term partners. For someone who is new to dating, it can be scary and a little intimidating to meet people who are currently single and looking for a new partner. And it’s even scarier if your date mentions their exes in the first few minutes of the date. Don’t immediately mention your ex(es) on the first date.

Yes, it’s important to talk about your past relationships and how they ended, but don’t do it right off the bat. It’s a little too personal and could completely turn the other person off. Let your date get to know you better before asking them about their past relationships.

And don’t be afraid to talk about your past mistakes and bad relationships

Everyone makes mistakes and has gone through a bad relationship or two. It’s a part of growing up and finding out who you are as a person. And it’s important to talk about those things on a first date because it shows that you’re a real human being who can laugh at yourself and make mistakes.

Talk about the things you’ve learned from your past relationships and bad experiences. And let the other person know that it’s not a big deal and that it doesn’t affect you as a person today. It’s also important to let the other person know that you’re not dwelling in the past. You’re moving forward and are excited about finding a new relationship.

Talk about what you want in a partner

This is a general conversation that you could have on any date - but it’s especially important to talk about it on a first date. It’s one of the most awkward parts of dating and meeting people in general nowadays. You’re only meeting someone once, so you don’t want to come across as too picky or judgemental - but you also want to make sure you find someone you have a connection with. What do you want in a partner? What are your deal-breakers? What are the traits you look for in a potential partner? It’s a conversation that you should have with a date, whether it’s the first date or the fifth one.

Talk about your friendships, family, and work life too

It’s important to talk about things that don’t have to do with dating or work. It shows that you’re a well-rounded person and gives the other person an insight into your personality and interests. It’s a great way to break the ice even more and let the other person know that you’re someone worth getting to know better. You could also ask questions about their family - like how they grew up, or their friends - like what they’re like, or their work - like what they do.