Tabula Rasa

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Avatar for YaelMchilum
2 years ago

My mind is full of doubts and uncertainties in life. No certain direction where to go. No compass to guide. No beacon of light to pave the way. Even the yellow brick road won't show the way. These constant shadows of doubt following me everywhere I go. And web of uncertainties blocking towards every goals and ambitions to conquer. I'm drowning of sorrows and unlikely to let me escape this unfathomable depths of melancholia. I'm trying to break free from my own created prison. As to how, I still don't know. My present is being dragged by my past and it is hard to let go of the past when your past is the one fueling you to move forward.

My mind is empty of motivation and positivity. I'm craving for inspiration that will control my steering wheel. But my pursue is more likely to lead me to wrong direction. My thoughts are strongly devoted with fear and judgment even if I am consciously aware that it is none of my business of what they think of me. Struggling everyday how to move forward is the worst feeling every human being can imagine. Can someone teach me how to navigate the ways of life? Or should I rely to myself and allow life to teach me the hard way?

My mind is paralyzed by consistent negativity. I have this feeling that gravity is working twice against me. Pulling me down two steps backward when I have the effort to move one step forward. Continuously sabotaging my own self and secluding myself away from society. Maybe I am just too harsh on myself. I wonder how I endured all the sufferings the past few years? I guess, I am really good at concealing my emotions and wearing a mask in front of other people. Ironically, I encourage and motivate the people that surrounds me. Advising them to keep going, reach their full potential and be the best version of themselves. However; I really can't figure out how to do it for myself. It makes me wonder sometimes, is there some sort of formula to live a good life? Or great life would be better.

It is quite comforting to think that in an alternative universe, another version of me is doing better. With all the adversities I stumbled throughout my life, I would really appreciate if a decent shooting star will cross my path and allow me to grant a wish that would turn my life 180 degrees. Yes, I desperately need it. A fresh start, new foundation to build and mold a brand new better version me. A clean slate.

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2 years ago

Comments

Tabula rasa means empty mind.. if you're feeling empty because of lack of motivation and inspiration, make read.cash as one . It will motivate you to think harder, for sure you can that your mind is not totally empty at all if you can produce an article like you did

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2 years ago

Thank you so much for your feedback, it is highly appreciated. 😊

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2 years ago