To Forgive or to Forget?

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1 year ago

One afternoon, a few weeks back, I was about to rest when my phone rang with an obscure number flashing On the screen. That was Monday at 1:00 in the late midday. With a slight curiosity about who may be the caller was, I responded to it and figured out it was a cop. At first, he inquired as to whether I was the right one he was calling thus after he mentioned my name I said yes. Later he introduced his identity and the reason behind his call. That was the second when my heart started to skip.
He informed me that my son met an accident and that he was at the hospital at that moment. However he picked light words while informing me, and I felt a weighty sense of foreboding deep in my soul. My heart beat so quick. I'm a resilient woman and don't usually panic during any unforeseen circumstances, may news may be startling I can keep calm and control my psyches. But at that exact moment, I was confused! I stuttered and struggled to find the right words to say after hearing the news.

My mind went to midair catching words that I can't let out of my mouth. I was at that point envisioning terrible situations, blood and alarms and all. I was exceptionally anxious to ask yet my mouth appeared to be sealed.

A few seconds passed when I had the strength to ask what occurred. I wondered how my child met a mishap when he should be in school since he left yesterday with no problem at all with all the backpacks, food supplies and other necessary things he could bring and gave him allowance for the entire week. He even bade me goodbye. He will be gone for 5 days since his school is very far and no vehicle travels from our barangay to their school regularly, only on Sunday afternoon when his fellow students gathered to complete 1 trip.

The police then told me that a vehicle had incidentally "brushed" my son and they carried him to the hospital for emergency treatment and an X-ray. I inquired as to whether my son is alright and he said he was fine. I can't think of other words to ask since the caller limits his responses. I needed to understand what truly occurred however my mind didn't work well. So I cut the call short and saved his number.

Since I can only send messages and can't call, I texted my husband to promptly call me. Then, when he called, I relayed the data from the police, I instructed my husband to call the number I sent and ask what truly occurred. Sadly, still, the information was not fulfilling to me. I have loads of inquiries that should have been responded to. The police guaranteed to call once more later.

Hours passed, and another new number blazed on my phone. It was the offender's aunt, she was humbly soliciting our forgiveness and understanding about the matter and promptly acknowledges what may be our decision about the situation. I told her I needed to see my child. I can't simply sit effortlessly without seeing him and check to assume he's truly alright even though they let me know that he was fine. Then I can cast my decision. The aunt volunteered that they will deliver my son immediately. They never knew I'm in my first trimester of pregnancy and what the circumstance has brought me. There are butterflies in my stomach and my headaches.

I don't trust white lies after my husband met a mishap a few years ago. White lies as it is called saying he was okay and what happened was very much like simply stumbling upon a stone on your way when everything goes against what is truly occurring. He was in a serious situation wherein he almost lost his leg and yet they told me he just slipped.

Good thing my oldest girl was still at home doing her modules so I can have somebody to talk to. I advised her to check if their cousin and my son's friends were active online in messenger and gather some information about the factual situation out there. One of my son's friends during the mishap was their cousin so I needed to advance some reports from him.

I discovered that the vehicle was driven by a drunk driver. Hit my son while along with his companions, they were walking by the side of the road. Their class was suspended that day, so they strolled some distance going to a specific location where there is an internet connection to make their research for their report the next day. The accident happened when they were about to go back to their dormitory. My son, being the last one in their lane of his companions walking was unfortunately hit by the vehicle when the driver recklessly stole the wrong lane. Luckily, the vehicle went its way back to its right path before it stirs another boy in front of my son. Unfortunately, the vehicle ran my son's ankle.

After long hours of waiting, my son along with his friends, the driver liable for my child's injury and her aunt showed up joined by 4 policemen(there are serious stories behind police accompanies in our place however that would be another topic).

Hearing from my child personally, he was lucky he was able to quickly jump over the guard rail or else his entire body will be gobbled up under the vehicle. The car was silent that they can't hear it coming from behind and the boys were all confident they were in the right lane.

My son can't walk properly. His right ankle was swollen and was assisted by his classmates and friends from our place to walk down the steps going down to our barangay until they arrive at our door. The offender, a 17-year-old minor, has the same grade level as my son yet with a different strand. He seemed ashamed as he can't look straight into my eyes.

According to his aunt, he lost his mom when he was a youngster. His dad however still in touch with him, remarried and lived in the city. The boy lacks consideration and direction which drove him to various teenhood issues. In my sense, I thought, I don't care but my heart contradicts. As soon as I saw my son was not seriously hurt and he came back to me as a whole, I was relieved

In the end, both parties concurred that at all the consequences of the follow-up examination of my son, the other party will bear the costs in case the result of the injury will fall into other adverse consequences.

One thing more, there are these old traditions and practices of our locality that never cease. It is called "Daw-es". It is done when somebody from our locality meets mishaps, illness, or an occasion where several individuals from different places came and gathered in your home. Through the butchering of pigs, misfortune will be driven away through prayers by our elders to their ancestors and gods according. It is also a way of calling back the soul of the individual being lost during the mishap.

In any case, for myself as well as my family, we directed it as a thanksgiving to our All-powerful Father for saving my son from serious trouble. The costs for this activity will in any case be carried by the relatives of the driver. We even invited them to come during the Daw-es so we can eat all together and they can observe the activity, to which they agreed.

Everything worked out positively after the Daw-es, we didn't anticipate that our guests should bring more company. We even nearly ran out of cooked rice yet I felt harmony in the air. Even though I didn't join the activity outside our home on account of my condition, I heard laughter and the beat of the gongs rather than turmoil.

Upon the arrival of the visitors, the rite began, and prayers were offered by our elders and the visitors as well. It took a bit long since our group of elders translates their dialects to a common one for the visitors to understand and to get rid of doubt. (There are prayers that direct evil rather than good luck).

We understand that the visitors weren't lax since we are the victim and situations like this gave them doubts that our elders might redirect the bad luck to them. (This is not an easy situation actually because there were "coincidences" that happened before).

After the rite, elders were advising both boys not to hold grudges against each other. They should treat each other like brothers from that moment on. They were given a piece of bread, broken into two and made to eat and drank in a single cup as well. My son was on the right side.

My children along with our neighbours were in the middle of serving the dinners after the pig was cooked. The pig's meat was divided and the uncooked was distributed equally among the people present in the Daw-es, that includes the visitors.

It's miserable, I'm of no assistance yet I was fulfilled by the result. Family members of the driver came to me and gave me solace concerning my prenatal situation and sympathise with the trouble given by their relative. They thanked us too for being an understanding guardian and never proposing anything more even though we have our chance to sue their family member (the driver). We made sense of later my sentiments as a mother and my husband as a driver too. We further agreed that after that culmination of the DAW-ES we won't file cases against the driver yet ought to be the start of brotherhood between our family and the other party.

All end well

Check the women above, they even asked for some of my herbs in which I gladly gave.

💖 ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~💖

After my experience above, am I right in pardoning the kid for what he did to my son? That in order not to obliterate the young fellow's future, we decided not to file a case for his reckless imprudences that resulted in the actual injury of my son. Because I am a mother, I felt sympathy instead and thanked God that nothing more serious happened.
I conversed with my husband and we have the same thought. We never considered asking for money from the driver's family. We only wished that the kid would track down his right path considering the efforts and
expenses his relatives had sacrificed for him.

Nonetheless, after what occurred, I'm all not certain that I can stick to same decision if in any assuming that the circumstance is more serious and most horrendously terrible.

Thanks for reading this far... ❤️

10/21/2022

>Xzeon<

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1 year ago

Comments

If only we can all be as forgiving and understanding like this and be humble and king, then this world will be a better place. It makes me wonder though whether it would have been a different outcome if something worst happened?

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1 year ago

We thought the same, but can you blame us if in case...? I can forsee that a mother will be forever broken and her wound will take time to heal. However, we don't wish for it to happen, there are situations we can't handle especially when a heart is broken and full of anger. In addition to that, tribal conflict will arise,heaven forbid.

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1 year ago

You are so sweet and so compassionate.... I love you and your strength and your consideration as a mother...you are my role model on this because this is what I would also do. After relating with those police things you dealt it well..

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1 year ago

Thank you, I think that is what a mother's love should be. May the boy your son or not. He has the chance to a brighter future, why destroy it right?

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1 year ago

Very correct

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1 year ago

Buti okay lang anak mo, wala naman major injuries? Ganyan pag tribal eh, di na aabot sa korti.. yung pinag peace lang ba, kasi ganon din samin, I mean sa tribe namin..but I don't practice that things since wala naman na ako sa lugar namin.

As long as safe ang anak mo ..yun ang mahalaga.

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1 year ago

True sis. Ok naman ang anak ko. No major injuries. Mabuti na lang at isinuggest ko na iuwi nila kaagad yung anak ko kasi pag umabot paa sa elders ang balita after 24 hrs, magdududa silang sinadya at madedesisyon na sumugod kahit ayaw mo.

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1 year ago

I hope okay na anak mo now? Hndi naman sinasadya, so patawarin na lng as long as sa magbabayad lahat ng gastos pang hospital.. May ganyan tradition parn pla sa inyo..

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1 year ago

Ok naman na sya... Nag absent sya for 1 week at medyo iika ikang pumasok kasi ayaw na nyang mag abasent despite my advice to stay home.

Yes, shinoulder nila yung bayad ng xrays and check ups. Buti na lang ok. Still alive pa rin ang traditions dito samin lalo na yang daw-es.

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1 year ago

Buti namn. Sana gumaling agad..

$ 0.00
1 year ago