My never ending worries
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Now that I am 27 all kinds of worries has been present in my daily life. I sometimes become confused whether I remember it correctly. And this would cause trouble to my partner because of me being paranoid. We are living 20.5km away from work so whenever I got played with my brain that what if I forgot to unplug the induction cooker or I may forgot to turn off the fan and the like, I would really go back home and check it myself. I am that absentmindly. I don't know what happen or maybe I just forgot easily. This event is kinda scared to me, like what happen to myselft these days? Am i normal ?
Since i am working miles away from home, my worry is that what if someone broke into the house and steal our belongings or what if the neighborhood will caught in a fire. I really pray to God that hopefully he will not burned our house again. Since 2019, this is my worry. That what if we will become a fire victim? What will happen to us. Every night, I keep on praying to God that please protect us against fire, sickness and all bad things.
And now that I 27, surely my parents are becoming old also. I am really scared to lose one of my parents that is my worst worried in life. Whenever this thought across my mind, my heart really feels heavy. And I do my best to remove or cancel or change the running of my mind. I prayed that they live longer than their time. I want them to witness my child if ever I have to gradute in college and see their great grandchildren. I also pray for their good health and stable mental health. I want them by myside. Since I am living away from their shelter, I am worried for whatever may happen to them knowing that I am away.
While working, I am also worried that what if I will be terminated. What would happen to me ? How will I able to give for our monthly expenses ? And I also worried that if ever I will change employment, will they ever accept me? Will I meet their standards ?
And among all my worries in life is that, since I am practically living with my partner. We are starting to plan our marriage, and what scares me is that what if we are just in a rush and we are not meant for each other ? Am i really ready to give my full commitment in our relationship in terms of marriage? Or if by chance, that we will finally be married I am still be worried if I could give my consistency of loving him and us. I am worried what if someone breaks us?
Lastly, I am worried if ever I am qualified to bare a child and be a mother. I am really scared.
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Have faith on Almighty. I know you are worried and tensed about future. Let's pray dear.