The Memories of Childhood, where are they really stored ?

Visiting grandma was fun but was more fun when she showed me my childhood pictures, she placed the picture right in front of me and asked who it was! For some minutes, a lot of names flashed on my mind, could it be my cousin ; Stephanie, Jasmine, Jane but definitely that kid in picture wasn't me, I answered. Grandma smiled and told me "Laura, that's you in the picture". I looked closely again, and I discovered a lot had changed, but then memories of my childhood came rushing like the wind, yeah, It seems like it was yesterday, I changed from being a toddler to a kid, then to an teenager and today am an adult. The picture ignited one thing in me and that was a drive down memory lane.

Grandma told me stories about my childhood, how at 5, I wanted being a pilot because I loved seeing airplanes, at 10 I wanted being a doctor because grandpa died of Congestive Cardiac failure, I wanted to keep him alive. Then i marveled at how everything changed because am presently a Pharmacist, how it happened is what I couldn't wrap my thoughts around. That's the unique feature about humans, our taste, needs and passion changes with advancement in age, change of location or even after a life event. This is a fact scientist can't explain, Our decisions and thoughts years back, are bound to change. I used to like chocolate while I was younger but not anymore, as it makes me sick. That won't change the fact that am still the little girl who disturbed mom for chocolate 15 years ago, because what happened was just a change.

A change to becoming a better version of myself.

There is no way, you will start describing yourself without using the words 'I' and "Me" that's if my grammar tutors didn't tell me a lie.

'I' to my understanding is used to describe memories of the present moment while "me" is used to describe memories of our past, present and future. We drive our memories based on What we need to be in the present while our plans for the future keeps changing.

How do we Create Memories?

This is a question scientist can't answer, firstly let me explain to you what memory is. It is simply thoughts gathered from past and present experiences. My friend once told me memory is like watching a movie, but I strongly disagree, memories are tiny clips designed by our brain to fit into our present narrative of who we are.

Let's assume you see yourself as a generous person, your mind will only reflect on the number of times, you have helped people rather than those moments you turned them down. That's why we don't use memories to describe who we were in out past, as it keeps on changing, as they tend to change. It's this constant change our brain gathers to bring out what we call "self" .

The idea of self is complicated as it tends to change completely, this manipulation is created by the brain, which is what we call the "illusion of self" . A random brain toggle of aligning stories, to create a storyline. Which means the self cannot exist without the brain. Still trying to figure out who I was years ago, grandma brought in other pictures, which I couldn't agree it was still me, I had to rely on my brain to create a memory path, which it didn't, then I knew the brain was in no way storing memories but just creating what we needed at that particular time. It was difficult in this state, as it couldn't get hold of any substance to develop a memory until grandma told me a story of how I used to cry profusely at night. What am I saying in essence, if the brain wasn't able to create this storylines , they won't be any need for us to feel guilty when a deed is done, its the storyline created by our brain that gives us conscience.

But looking at the child in the picture, I could actually tell that he was innocent of taking contraceptives, lying, stealing or even gossiping. These are attitudes we develop with advancement in age.

Conclusion

The illusion of self is a collection of what our brains stores and thats what makes up the storyline. You are a unique entity and so you shouldn't allow memories of your past weigh you down. You deserve the best.

Do have a wonderful day..

Lead image: unsplash.com