Comparison: An Habit, You need to Let Go

I stood at the back of the crowd, wishing I was the one being called to the podium, it was another end of school party, and the brilliant kids are always called up stage to be applauded by everyone. There he was His name was Daniel Anderson, his parent never missed the end of school party, because they knew he will always make them proud. I thought so low of myself, if only I was abit taller than I was, had brown eyes with a chocolate skin color maybe I would have been called up stage.

If my parent were both doctors, had just one sibling, maybe I would have been better than Daniel. All this wild thoughts were running through my mind in a second, I was so lost in thought that I didn't hear when someone tapped me on the shoulder, it was my best friend Silas. All I said without being scared of being heard was, I will deal with him, he thought he is smarter than me. Everyone turned to look at me, while I turned red, I was more embarrassed than not being called up the podium. I ran to get some fresh air outside.

That's the problem with comparison, it leaves us bittered, depressed, with low self esteem. Ever wondered why the famous quote "You cannot change what you are, only what you do - Philip Pullman" .

Certainly when I was in high school, I never thought of the above quote, if I did, I would have devoted more time to study than just sit around waiting for the miraculous to happen.

What is Comparison ?

According to Merriam-Webstars Dictionary, Comparison is the act of looking at things to see how they are similar or different. In a clear term, I will say, comparison is the act of thinking so low of yourself, while using another person as a yardstick, usually someone we think, are better than us. We all have compared ourselves with others at some point in our lives, especially when things don't go the way we want.

I wish I was a beautiful as Cinderella, I wish I could sing so perfectly like Celine Dion. If only I could dance so perfectly like Michael Jackson.

Comparing yourself with others without making a step to be a better person won't change anything rather make things worst.

Adverse Effect of Comparison

Alot has gone wrong during the process of comparison, if left unsolved could result to the lose of lives. Here are certain things that could happen if comparison is left unsolved for too long.

1) Envy : This is a state of being jealous of someone else's progress, you will always feel, you could have done it better. I always thought of waving to the crowd in a better way than how Daniel did. If I was the one with such straight legs, I would have been a model, look at how she walks, so annoying. Thats it, comparison brings about you talking down on others.

2) Depression : The classic world we live today has made being depressed as simple as ABC, social medias are a perfect spot of being depressed. Everyone posting their best pictures after a workout, attending a wedding or their newest achievements just to gain attention. It wasn't meant to get you bittered, oh look at how perfect she looked on that dress, she isn't plus sized as I am, I wish I wasn't this chubby, maybe I could have been in a relationship. All this thoughts won't make it any easy for you. I still remember how depressed I was at every end of school party. And you should know being depressed isn't a better option.

3) Low Self Esteem : The result of comparison is always the conclusion of others being better than you. You will always see others as a better option to you. Comparing yourself with others, leaves you in an unending state of mediocrity.

4) Death : This is usually rare, imagine trying to have a perfect body like a model you saw online, only to end up creating health issues for yourself, you might be pushed out of jealousy to kill someone you compare yourself with. The truth is comparison isn't what we should harbour, it is as worst more than a pandemic.

How to Quit Comparison

Everyone has compared themselve with others no doubt, but the difference is they didn't continue with that lifestyle for long, as it is wrong. Here are steps to take to quit comparing oneself with others;

1) Celebrate yourself : This is a unique way of quitting comparison, as you try to give credits to your little wins. I still remember while in school, I was the best when it comes to basketball and Daniel was not even a match. That was all I used to console myself. You shouldn't see yourself like a loser, the only person you should compare yourself with should be you.

2) Stay away from Triggers : I stopped attending the end of school parties because it made me feel I wasn't good enough. Also the social media is a space where the best are displayed, if you don't minimize your stay online, you might be forced to compare yourself again. Nobody will want to upload an ugly or a bad day online, but believe me, everyone has a bad day. Life isn't as they display online.

3) Celebrate Others : Instead of comparing yourself with others, try and celebrate them, this will help boast your self confidence and also create a bond. If you are so interested about the person's success, you can go ahead and inquire, but first create a link between you both.

4) Be active : Its known that an idle mind wonders a lot, and its bound to start comparison , which could lead to depression. Rather than stay idle, try to occupy yourself with activities. I took up photography just to distract myself from comparing myself with others.

5) Be yourself : No matter who you try to compare yourself with, you are still yourself. You are unique , amazing, adorable and above all you are the best version of yourself.

Do have a wonderful day. Thanks for reading .

Lead image : Unsplash.