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Talking about early marrying, leave/cleave my parents house

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Written by   100
2 months ago

Let's talk about marriage again, they say that,"love is stronger than flood", it conquers all.

But let's discuss the realities of getting married early,I will share my experience and my insights about it.I get married early at the age of 19.The struggle of how to start a new life and establishing livelihood and even a house to live is a part of the first thing to consider.I have experience to live with parents.

Filipino doesn't practice letting their children live separately from their parents even when they reached the age of legal age.Unlike people who live in other countries that their children who are already 18 years have already lived separately. For me,it's just fine if I will live with my parents when I'm single but when I'm already married that's already a different kind of situation.But nowadays, there are some Filipino young people who live independently, those who had already a stable job.

We have practiced close family ties, some people still live with their parents even when they are already married. And I have experienced that in my first two months of being married. I lived with my husband's parents and with my parents too.Yes, it happens because of marrying early and doesn't have enough money to owned or built a house as early as a we get married.That's the reality of entering into relationship, its what the reason why did parents always tell us that we should study first, finished our school before we get married,so that we can have a better future.And they were not wrong, not really.But my decision of marrying takes me to a journey of maturity that i think my experiences are the best teacher of my life that molds me.

If you would ask me, how was it like? I would say, that it was a different experience, not to say it as a negative one but a sort of learning and inspiration to strive to live on our own.

Living with in-laws

It was the biggest adjustment that happened in my life when I used to live with them, the fact that I just lived there for the first time and meet his siblings.

When we don't have no owned kitchen utensils, and bathroom,I'm always hesitant when I felt hungry I need to hold on to myself. They have a different routine, and they will not allow me to help them clean the house or do any household chores, all I do is to stay in our room or sometimes talk to their neighbors. Their neighbors are also like "chismosa", hehe who used to say bad words against my in-laws.

It feels like we were not free to do what we want like cooking and budgeting our money.Especially when I got sick,I can't call them right away because they are not always with us they just go home in the afternoon or late in the evening.

One day, when my husband needs to leave home to go to Cebu with her uncle who got sick, and I'm left with his parents.I feel so alone and it was a very strange time of my life.The time when I used to wake up in the morning, and I'm feeling that I don't know what to do to start my day.But I'm thankful that his grandmother treated me as a family and very accommodating person.

Well on that situation ,I realized how important to live separately from your parents house when you get married. Especially for a wife, who might experience different criticisms from the in-laws, some aspects that will affect the wife when a couple never separate.

  • The might influence the decision-making the husband and wife, that they might say that they are just giving suggestions.

  • They might intervene the way we discipline the kids , that I should not do this or you should not do that.

  • There's always someone who is watching me, the feeling of hesitation if I sleep late or wake up late in the morning.When I just can't lie on my bed as long as I want because I will always consider what might they think of me if I do that.

  • The wife might not be able to exercise her ways on how to handle practical things like in the kitchen.

In my opinion,it's better for a couple to live independently from their parents, to help them grow in relationship and learn to develop and manage their life daily battles.Like planning, and solving practical things about the family.

Entering into a marriage life is not a kind of joke that we should just take for granted.It will transform our life with all areas that we are involved.

As what I have observed recently, despite of the pandemic there are a lot of couple who got married this few weeks here in my place.It seems that nobody can stop with two hearts who desire for love and be united.

For as long as these two persons are both committed with each other it is possible to established a good relationship and develop a better life.

Even though we did not live with our parents house, as Filipino we are family oriented, we can still have the support of our family in times of difficulties and scarcity.We cannot just watch those who are in need , like our siblings who are also married.Thats what most Filipinos should do, to help each other in times of crisis.

Though my marriage may seems to be a quick decision but it's all turn out for my good, and I have realized that in this way I can find my purpose of living that God has planned for me.Our life today are not perfect we still have trials every now and then, but in all by Gods grace and mercy, God is faithful that bless every day.

Whether are you married early or not, it's your choice to do so. At the end of the day," we have our role to play".No one can judge anybody.

Well anyway, this is the song that I like to dedicate to myself entitle", Can't help falling in love with you".

I can relate with the song, hehe it makes me every time I play this.Thanks for having patience upon reading this with all the errors I have here in writing.

Thanks to my generous sponsors, this song is also dedicated for you.

Hope you like it too.

God bless you reader.

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Written by   100
2 months ago
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Comments

Wow,you married so early, anyway it is good because one will be able to strive hard and eat the fruit of his/her labour at a reasonable age. Marriage truly is not for immature someone, it is for the brave and those that are ready to face any challenges. You really tried about your in laws, I understand how they can be

$ 0.03
2 months ago

I can say that I'm not mature enough when I get married but as life goes on, with all the hardship that I have to face it makes me mature as a person.

$ 0.00
2 months ago

Good to hear that, that's a good experience, so you can tell your kids about it

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2 months ago

I had an inaanak sa kasal when I was 30 years old 😂, she got pregnant when she was still in college. Despite of that, she continue her studies while living with her future in-laws which is also my friend. Well, even she is lucky because her in-laws Is very nice and treat her well, they moved to other house after she graduated. And she really work hard to pay the rental. It's really different If you have your own space .. your house, your rule.

$ 0.03
2 months ago

So true, sobrang stressful talaga pag Hindi mo bahay eh,ewan ko,parang nakakailang sa lahat ng gagawin ko parang laging may nakatingin.

$ 0.00
2 months ago

True sis. Ganyan din pinagdadaanan ko ngayon dito sa bahay ng bf ko. Di naman kami kasal nandito lang ako kasi for some reasons. Hate ko talaga yung part na nagugutom ka tas nahihiya ka pumunta sa kusina. Hahaha! Unlike sa bahay nyo pwede kang sa kusina tumira. Haha! Mahirap talaga makipagshare ng bahay

$ 0.02
2 months ago

Naku, ganon talaga pag nakikitira,saka nahihiya din ako dati na bumili bg pGkain na para lang sa akin at hindi ako nakapagshare kaya mas maganda pa rin talaga magsarili para may freedom ,natatawa naman ako na sa kusina titira,true na true,🤣🤣.

$ 0.00
2 months ago

Legit! Hahaha ang ending di kana lang bibili kasi feel mo madamot ka pag para sayo lang bibilhin mo. Kaya gutom na naman. Jusko hirap talaga. Lalo pa namN may kapatid bf ko kda may dala kami tinitingnan talaga at kinukuha yung gusto nya gusto ko rin. So ending binigay ko nalang. At eto pa, binilhan nami sinabihan pa kami ng walang kwenta daw kasi di nagustuhan ng bata.

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2 months ago

Nge , sana pwedeng sabihin na hindi naman to para sa bata kundi sa matanda,😂kaloka

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2 months ago

Hahaha! Di nalang ako kumibo

$ 0.00
2 months ago