It cannot be denied that there are a lot of girls who get married early, at the age of 14 is the youngest I think. The reality of being a mom at an early age is a big deal and giving too much pressure especially when there is no one to guide them at the first semester of being a mom.
I get married at the age of nineteen, and become pregnant without any preparation in terms of finances, without any knowledge on how to take care of a baby.
The most difficult stage of pregnancy is the first trimester when a woman's body is having a lot of adjustments with appetite, and morning sickness. I often cry when my husband is away from home because I don't know what to do.
Fast forward.....
The time of Labor
I felt worried in my nine months because I know that I will be having a lot of pain. My tummy starts to ache in the morning, and it takes me 1 day of enduring the pain. I cried, shout so loud when the pain keeps coming back, the doctor is angry with me, and shouted at me also because my voice teaches the other room of the hospital. My husband is not beside I was just alone in the labor room and it makes me afraid of what will happen to me. And I find the doctor is very relaxed watching with me, she just eats ava on that day and it seems nothing happens. So, I started to get calmed after she gets mad at me. After one hour in the labor room, the baby came out, our firstborn is a boy.
Breastfeeding struggle
At the firstborn baby, most of the time a young mom has no enough milk to feed the baby. And I was very conscious of the matter. I want to provide my baby for me but it's so sad that it's not enough for him.
During the first time breastfeeding, I can feel the pain of feeding the baby until how many days pass by that I finally didn't feel anything.
Postpartum depression
I know that it's familiar to all of the moms out there, and it's really serious with me. I have been experiencing this one in the first two weeks after giving birth to a baby. I can't explain my emotion because I'm so sad deep inside, I am often worried about out till happen to my baby. We always argued with my husband, because my mood always changed. I'm not aware of this before that's why my marriage had almost broken.
Cooking problem
A responsible wife should know how to cook for the family, but in my case, I grow up knowing nothing about cooking. I just learn the fried egg and nothing about any other dish. My husband has a lot of adjustments when we come to eat together, and the food is always instant. After a few months, I already knew how to cook different dishes because he teaches me.
Multitasking
There is a lot of tasks that a mom needs to do, take care of the baby, wash the clothes, cooking and many more. While washing the clothes, the baby cry, while the dishes are waiting to wash over. It sometimes causes me to become exhausted and restless. It took so long to learn how to do things smoothly.
My life has turned around completely, even though I'm still young it teaches me more than being single when I learned nothing about simple life tasks. It's not easy to become a mother at an early age.
Criticisms
There are a lot of people who will criticize me and I know that women like me can also relate to what I feel.
It hurts me when my neighborhood asks me, especially questioning my decisions why I get married early. Criticizing when my husband who doesn't have a stable job at that moment. Their mocking at me that I should finish my study, that I have brains why do I marry really.
Honestly, what's the reason behind my decision, they didn't know it. People will talk according to what they see. But at the back of my mind, I just said"you don't know me yet".
Getting married is one of the best things that happen to me, I've been through a lot of struggles being single before I met my husband, I was full of anxiety each day, fear, and hatred But my husband is a part of my healing process.
I didn't want to get married early, that is my first plan when I was still studying because I want to have a job and find sustainable work. B ut I can say that it's not my destiny because there is a lot of destruction that comes to me.
BACK STORY
My parents want me to marry someone whom I didn't like, the one that I hate. When I get home from my boarding house, they often tell me that there is someone that they like me to marry. And I find out that they already planned it. When I reached 18 the more it becomes reality for them That's why I decided to marry the man I love rather than letting them hurt me.
PREJUDICE
There is a lot of young mom, are experiencing prejudice, they are being judged by their situation as a young mother. It's so easy for some people to conclude about this matter, sometimes even a very painful word that seems they know everything that happens.
The SoLution
Being a young mother is not easy but if it happens, we don't have the right to underestimate people but instead to lift them and encourage them to do their best for the family. Criticism can destroy them or cause trouble to someone who can receive it. They need guidance and new learnings to grow as a woman. If there is someone we know as a young mom, we should learn to sympathize with their struggle rather than giving them hurtful words of discouragement.
My views
Being a parent, I didn't want my kids will become like me, I want them to finish their studies as we all want them to. One of the factors I think why did I marry early was because of my growing up process. We never had an orientation from our parents to finish our school. All they want is that we can just read and write is just enough and nothing more than that.
The more we are closer to our children and influence them to try harder and achieve the things that they want, the they can learn to have a dream and finish school. One thing that kills the dream child is the lack of support from the parents.
I know that it's not the time to blame but it's just that, I never feel the support of the parents for my desires in life instead they just want me to stop, that's why I made my own choice.
There are some stages of life that we need to pass to become mature and we can learn more. These lessons cannot be found in school. There are a lot of young mothers who become successful after many years because they continue their passion, so I think it's not just about being professional who can be labeled as successful people but also the one who realized its value and find the passion and live with it.
My mother also gets married at the age of sixteen because she is out of school and become a house helper. There is a story behind a young mom.
Don't judge their situation, instead, learn to appreciate their effort to achieve great things for the family.
Some factors that a girl can become a young Mom
Out of school, not going to school or the parents let her stop
Love a nightlife
No parental guidance or supervision
Having a bad experience or trauma
Believing sweet promises
Losing the courage to study
Happens by accident
By choice
Advantages of a young mom
Your children are like your brothers and sisters
You can watch over the kids as they grow older
Active physically
Able to play with children as they want to
Versatile
Young moms can be better moms despite age differences. I think maturity comes through experience and not just with age.
There's no one can tell the right time to become a mother, it's up to us unless we decide to enter into motherhood.
Life is full of challenges and being a young man is very challenging indeed but it is also very rewarding to see our child who can heal our tiredness all day.
Glad your here in my article.
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