It Pains More Coming From Love
So many things gets to us, quite painful infact, but some hurts deeper than some others. When we seat to reason deep we realize that the occurrence that hurt us deeper were actually less than what others have done to us in previous times, so it's not about what happened sometimes, most times it's the person, those we love and have confided in, when they turn their back on us,,even for the slightest moment, that little sting of betrayal, hurts deeper than hundreds of causal friends and stranger throwing darts at us. More reason we too have got to cherish the relationship you have with others, so we don't hurt them as it would likely hurt deeper.
We've have brought them closer to our heart, we've placed them far closer than most others. They sure know how to get our extreme feelings, when they make us happy, we are very happy, and when they get us annoyed, they still do it so well that we get very angry. Ever wonder why people don't deal with heartbreak so well, this is it. Some more fragile heart begin to think to suicide when they get heartbroken, some cry for weeks, many looks for ways to destroy things, but looking back to past experience, someone somewhere, maybe a causal friend must have picked a fight with them, or done something so bad to them, but it didn't take them much time to forget, they easily forgave but when the one whom they loved did similar, it was hell. Mom could easily tell me to let go of my vex towards someone who got me annoyed, but when I'm angry with mom, I don't see who can calm me down, I could go that day angry until I talk to myself or like always until she apologizes.
They are so important to us, they push us to the extreme, positively and sadly negatively too. We don't fully know how far you can go, or how angry you can get, or how risky a step you can take until a person you love is involved, they show us our abilities and endurance strength. Many of our worst moments was when you love said something bad to you. Its because we pay more attention to what they do, a crowd of people can speak but you'll remember in details every single word that comes out from that special one who holds a space in your heart.
You probably would have heard someone say "if you want peace of mind don't check her phone or don't check his phone", cause you'll most probably see something you wouldn't like, as much as this is true yet we still look for that perfect opportunity to check through their phones, simply because we want them to care and take us special same way we do to them. Its funny how we think we can deal with it but when it finally happens, here we are feeling too bad, we have to be emotionally intelligent especially in the affairs concerning those who we care a lot for, they can make us do and undo a crazy load of things.
However all these isn't enough reason to start expecting the worst from everyone, if we colonize every one into being the same, we may never be open to experience a change, mind you people are different, Open communication is key to preventing the hurt. Sometimes we've got to let some people in and see what they've brought to the table, only this time we are little more careful, yet open minded to give and receive love. When someone is special to you, that hate should leave the room for them, for their sake and sake of the relationship shared, that hate should exit the room for them. They deserve that much.
Ofcourse no one is supernatural enough to know how to please you just the way you love to be please, they might be trying their best to please you but you are feeling like they aren't trying or doing quite the opposite. Remember that our mother's or our spouse didn't just get to know unique things about us, some of the things they know about us was as a result of we telling them. This is my best food, oh I don't like this, oh can you do this again cause I love it, and they begin to take note, ordinary they aren't going to just know. Expect that anyone can hurt you, accept this so when it finally happens, the anger rate would be reduces and you both can quickest iron things out.
The trick about this is that when they hurt us we don't quickly forgive as we do when another causal person does and it shouldn't be so. These people matter more to you, and at such we are always eager to know and hear from them, its rather impossible to coexist without some quarrel or fight occurring at first. We are quick to say to ordinary people "oh its fine, you know I don't know how to hold grudes, after that day I had already forgiven you, so they can say " oh you're too kind, God bless you" as if they really care,well they don't, those who care are family and friends, but if they were the one to annoy us, would it be easy for us to say, oh I have forgiven you, or would you keep it in mind.
Those who should easily be forgiven are not but those who don't really matter are readily forgiven. Like I don't care if you are angry with me or not, I don't really know you, I can choose to apologize just to fulfill all righteous, but deep down I don't care if you accept or not, however there are those who care, but the fight is still on till date. That's a trick.
The emotional difference between those we care for and those we don't care as much for are all just to make life interesting, your hurtful memories are the stories you probably shared with people more often, well became its interesting to talk about, except you feel embarrassed based on how it all played out. Those who matter should not be let loose because of trivial matters, they should be worth more than that.
However in cases of betrayal or even death threats, its best we apply wisdom and cut ties, more than we care for them we care for ourselves more, the bible never told me to love my neighbour more than myself, he said like myself, note he said "I should" Well I'm still trying, but now its me before any family and friends. Maybe when I have kids I'll reconsider. I'll love more than I do myself, that I know.
Those we love hurt us the most, we must try to forgive because we understand the trick, if another person did same we would have forgiven long ago, so why the daily with those we love, who deserves our forgiveness more. Make peace today.
Thanks For Reading.
That's true dear. It hurts. Badly hurts.