Born to break the Mold!

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8th of March, 2022

Hello, everyone. It is Tuesday. Here I am sitted on a chair, thinking, meditating, reflecting on issues of the heart, or anything that comes to mind. Issues that have come to stick with me over time. It is quite early for me to be doing that, that much is true. But, honestly, I cannot help it. I woke up a few minutes ago, say thirty minutes prior to now. I read a couple of Articles of some wonderful writers. While I perused through their fine works, I wondered if I will get as good as them. Usually, when we talk about talent, some people are especially, endowed with them. Things comes to them really easy. Maybe that is how one would differentiate raw talent from hardwork. However, in order to press on in life both hardwork and talent are needed.

Writing comes easy to me. There were times when I found it hard to write long texts, essays, and posts. They say, "you wouldn't be such a good writer without you, first, being a reader". Paraphrased. I, unequivocally, agree with that. I have seen writers write tremendously on subjects and various matters centered on array of topics. I am sure none of them have not, for once, disregarded being students of intense reading. They are only able to write when they give themselves to the latter. With all that I have come to understand now, there has been times when I doubted my abilities. Like the one time when I wrote my first competitive essay.

Before I started, there was a constant voice in my head that told me I was capable of competing. Day and night before the deadline to submission via an Email I was not at peace with myself. I said to myself, "If I don't do this, I will regret it". It was so much a drive - a challenge, to myself given the opportunity that lay in front of me than it was a crippling sense of overwhelming pressure. I started out the essay, eventually, and submitted few days to the deadline. I was relieved. Satisfied. That I was able to come out of my shell and write wonderfully. Before submitting, I showed my work to some of my friends, mentors and family members. They were astounded by my well-crafted, and engaging words. It was not more than 600 words. But, it almost made the competitions word count of 700 and no less than 500. "Eureka!", I was happy. Overjoyed that I had discovered something. The winner's prize was not all that important at the time, but the sense of completion, overflowing excitement pouring out from my essence was sufficient enough. (Not that the winner's prize was not extra motivation enough, but still, it was a moment I relished!).

Days passed, and what I wrote still laid fresh in my heart. "My Nigerian Dream", the theme/topic for the competition. (Oh, and yes. I am Nigerian). I went back to my Gmail to check if my essay was received. It was. Now, I expected a response, a feedback from the organisers. I waited for it. Unfortunately, nothing came. Not even a Thank you for participating. I thought to myself, "Have I sent it to the wrong Email address?". I checked again. It was accurately sent. There was not a word misspelled. What could have gone wrong! After a Month, still nothing. A few weeks later, i wondered why not a single message was not sent to me. Later I found out the winners have been announced by the end of the competition. I was not even worthy of a message. A short one, a long one. Nothing. Ah! At that point, I was shattered.

I had a talk with my best friend. I told her what happened. She was also dumbstruck, same as I. That was it, wasn't it? They never acknowledged my work. I was hurt. Reality was, I expected so much from my work and I got disappointment in the end. Talent did not matter right then, and there. Hardwork didn't as well. Turns out if you do not know anybody of influence in this world, you can't get your hands on what you dream to get most of the time. A sad truth! Anyway, that was a long time ago. It's all gone now.

I remember when I was young, a couple of us kids were asked what our talent was. I had always been fascinated with the Art of writing even then. I could, intelligibly, look at a person's handwriting that appeared beautiful, copy the style, and make it my own. (That was always a fun thing to do then. What brought more satisfaction was the awe it left on the face of those I copied. Laughs!).

When it got to my turn, I said writing. Before me, many kids had said somethings like, "Singing, Dancing, Drawing, Painting". It felt like I was alone with mine. The woman said to me, "Everybody writes, it's not exactly a talent. You must have something other than that, don't you?". I was confused. Timid and completely overwhelmed. I was put on the spot and was just told that what I loved doing the most wasn't a talent. I couldn't muster up the strength to say anything more. My mind was foggy and my head was clouded. So, the moment passed. Doubt was laid in my heart that day as I returned home.

That was my Stumbling block, an obstacle I needed to overcome. Selfdoubt. It has accompanied me ever since. I was racked with insecurities. I sought to overcome it. To break the Mold. I have been working towards that. Still am! What I read this morning by @Talecharm "Relinquish your Insecurities and embrace who you are" helped me. I was able to think of things differently from her inspiring words. Never to fill myself with insecurities, most importantly.

Closing words

We are all born for a reason. It is our duty to not let ourselves be taken aback by discouraging words. We should learn to break that Mold. To overcome every hinderance. Because, in all that we think, it actually is doable.

Thank you for reading.

Until next time everyone.

Stay Jiggy. ✌️💐