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Writing Prompt #5: Questions - Why Do I Lie?

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Written by   74
3 months ago

(This Post Will Not Include Lies!)

Yea this might be a bit of a "Raw" post....Call it a freewrite without a timer, just writing what's on my heart based on the writing prompt from @JonicaBradley . I had exactly the same 'question' that she had, and I've spent the last 8 hours prior to reading her article.....trying to answer it.

Questions can strike fear and anxiety into me in a heartbeat. When I say "Why do I lie?", I should say....Why do I say whatever someone wants to make them align with me, like me more, increase my stature or view in their eyes. Sounds silly doesn't it? Why do I do that? That is the 'question' that comes to my mind.

Why do I meet a stranger, introduce myself, and before I say my name think for a split second "What name do you think they would prefer over 'Daniel'??!?!?" My mind races, I think rapidly through names that may or may not align with what I think they might like.....Brian? Luke? Scott? Peter?......Why do I do that?

Why do I make excuses, or 'redirect' (alternative to lying) the conversation when I feel uncomfortable or that my 'value' may go down if it proceeds in the current direction? Am I just trying to take the path of least resistance? Am I running away from responsibility or problems? What do I gain from not being me?......Why do I do that?

Why do I process and store information that I think may be beneficial at a later date? Your favorite color is purple?!??! OMG so is mine!!!! You lean this side politically?!!??!? OMG me too, I can't stand those other guys!!! Your Birthday is today?!??! birthday is today too!!! (Ok that's a little extreme, never done that before) Am I being manipulative? Sometimes. Am I being sincere? Sometimes. I've only had a select few tell me: "I see right through you". Do I try to do more damage control, fishing for what needs to be said to change that opinion or do I become completely forthright from that moment on? Why do I do that?

Why do I take a second or two to formulate a response, and then blurt out something else completely different out of nowhere? Did I pick up something from your body language while I was thinking? Did your tone of voice seem different, were you talking slower or faster? Maybe something you said jogged a memory or experience from a similar conversation I had with someone else? How did that interaction turn out for me? I know how to answer the question, but these 'social cues' and my insecurity blurt out something different.....something you want to hear....Why do I do that?

Why do I think I need to be a chameleon, or a mirror, or able to fit the mold of whatever the situation requires? Is it really Daniel, or is it someone else? I can be.....whatever you need me to any moment in time. Why do I do that?

I relate to these 'characters' we see on movie and TV. People like Saul Goodman from "Better Call Saul", Loki from the M.C.U., Jordan Belfort (actual person....wolf of wall street), or Don Draper in "Mad Men". These characters exude confidence, unwavering faith, charisma, ambition, poise, and an unconditional belief in themselves and their ability. On the other hand....They are also cunning, deceitful, manipulative, dishonest, selfish, insecure, and arrogant. They will do whatever it takes, no matter what it takes, to further themselves and their agenda.....Why am I like that?

Are these characteristis a strength or a weakness?

I know I love people, and I want to see everyone succeed, no matter what. I want others to see how valuable and important they are, even if they don't see it in themselves. I want to inspire, encourage, empower, and uplift everyone I come in contact with. I want the people I meet to see inside themselves, the limitless potential that I see in them. I want to be an 'agape' unconditional love type of man that would gladly lay down his life for another. I want to make others proud of me and my accomplishments, but not at the expense or hurting or manipulating someone else. I want to become the greatest man I am capable of being, and I know deep down inside.....that is what everyone else REALLY wants me to become too.

I guess the only real question then is.....

How Do I Become That?

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Written by   74
3 months ago
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I know that there are many questions bugging our minds and those questions can be answered by you or by other people or by your experiences in the future. Don't rush things , Just do your thing and the right answers will follow at the the right time and moment of our life. How can you do that? Do it in your own unique way as long as you don't hurt people ,keep finding those answers hidden in our journey .😊

$ 0.10
3 months ago

This is something I needed to hear. Thank you for reminding me that the only moment we have is RIGHT NOW! nothing else matters besides what is right now, and I have the ability to choose RIGHT NOW!

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3 months ago

Being true to yourself.

Being loyal to your own feelings and thoughts, not caring what others say.

However, from reading your post I think I know you are lying to yourself, you do it because from a young age society has taught us to be empathetic, sociable and to get along with everyone.

And it is a good social strategy to avoid cultural wars and conflicts.

I am going to share something personal with you, you will not believe me and you will laugh out loud, I do not lie, I did not learn to do it, I always tell the truth or almost always because I have probably lied but not in a way to get out of trouble or to empathize.

People when they meet me say, you are very sincere! they say they admire that quality, but in the end they don't like it when I give my opinion about something.

With this I want to conclude, telling the truth or telling lies will always affect our environment. And nothing is good or bad, everything is perfect as it is.

Just try to be happy yourself first and then please others.

$ 0.20
3 months ago

Thank you for taking the time to write that. Everything is relative, you are absolutely right. Good bad, hot cold, it just is...Thank you for reminding me of this.

$ 0.00
3 months ago

The part about you agreeing with what other people say, or thinking of names that people may prefer over your real name, I think that's a way of seeking acceptance. hehehe

$ 0.00
3 months ago

I think you are definitely right....acceptance, approval, validation, a sense of sincere being wanted? More to ponder.

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3 months ago