Being an introvert and ambivert

Whether introvert, ambivert or extrovert, we are all equal in this world and we choose to be comfortable wherever and however we are. Some people find peace and comfort being indoors and alone while some find peace and comfort going out and socializing and some find comfort in both being alone and indoors and also going out and interacting with people.

I feel good to be one of the many people who possess the qualities of an introvert and extrovert. When I was little, my parents didn't allow me and my brothers go out and play like some other parents did. They preferred seeing us around and close to them and I guess that was for safety reasons. Even when we were growing up, they still didn't allow us go to distant places without their permission. So, all these shaped me into being an introvert because soon enough, I felt so comfortable and happy being indoors. Even when there was an opportunity to go out, I wouldn't because I was used to being at home and being perfectly okay with it. My friends at school didn't like it and it actually affected some aspects of my life.

Being an introvert

Well, I've been an introvert since childhood and I must say, it's gets really comfortable because i have nothing to worry about; unnecessary attention and being the subject of a gossip. In my mind, I'm like "I'm so glad no one knows me". There were times I was really grateful for being an introvert for example, there was this time that my coursemates were writing anonymous messages about how they feel, what they like and don't like about certain people in my department in college. A lot went down because people wrote a lot of nasty and hurtful things about people and I was so happy because not much people knew me and even if they've seen me, they didn't Know anything about me.

So being an introvert was really nice but it had it's discomforting and sad parts. There were times that I needed someone to share things with, a shoulder to cry on and someone to share happy moments with but there wasn't anyone because I shut everyone out. So, I saw the need for a few good friends. I already had but I didn't take them seriously and that's where I decided to change because after all, no one is an island.

In my secondary school, I naturally got friends somehow and really good ones. They started bringing out my extremely fun and interesting shades and even my goofy shade because I really can be goofy at times but mostly around people I'm really close to. We had a lot of good and fun times that can never be forgotten but unfortunately it had to be cut short because I was changing my school. But at least, I started stepped out of my box and interacting with different people more often which was a big win.

Gradually morphing into an Ambivert :)

Since I had to change my school, I actually decided to change my character. I decided to sharpen some rough edges and at least try to fit in but the fact that I was moving into a new environment didn't make things easy for me. I felt I couldn't just try to interact well with people I haven't really known so my introvert mode came back. I became really shy and quiet; I didn't join gatherings but instead stayed alone in my room. That made me look weak and my roommates really took advantage of me for that. That continued till the end of that school term. The next term, I decided to change and become more outspoken and express my feelings more so I could be taken seriously.

That was one of the best decisions I ever made because soon enough, I started getting known by people. I started being friends with the "popular girls" in my class. I made people laugh by just doing the silly, goofy things I loved doing. I didn't realize I was becoming less introverted and becoming a better version of me. I even acted a short comedy with my friend in front of the school and till this day, it shocks me but I'm happy because there was a growth and a great improvement.

All these shades of me are subject to my mood and the people around me at that point in time though. My mood is dynamic; sometimes, I'm free and dancing in front of people and sometimes I go into my room and stay alone and watch a movie or read a book. I can say and do a lot of silly and stupid things when I'm with my friends and sometimes I can do it in front of random people I don't really know but my friends have to be amongst those people. All I'm happy about is that there is a great difference between me then and me now.

Well now, I'm in college and all I can say is I'm a mixture of both qualities but most times I just love being alone. It helps me think about how I live my life because I need to do a lot of that since I'm not getting younger. Even though I love being alone most times, I still go out and hang out with people I care about and share my happiness and pain with them. To be honest, it really helps me not explode because life can be unbearable sometimes. It's also good to spend time with people who can share their own problems and happiness with you; who you can offer a shoulder for them to cry on and napkin to dry their tears. That's all part of life and that makes it beautiful and interesting.

My journey from being too introverted to being an Ambivert has been tough but blissful and honestly educating. I've learned a lot of important lessons and one of them is that no one is an island; we all need someone to lean on. Personally, the first person i lean on is God because He doesn't just offer a shoulder, He also offers peace and a solution to said problem. Then I also share them with good friends that care and they also give me advices that help. So it's good to be alone and it's also good to be around the right people.

Thanks for reading 😊