Parenthood is a blessing from God. But sometimes bad parenting can become a curse for a person and for the whole society.
When we are young we don’t know anything about being a parent. We have no idea what are the responsibilities.
We realize it once we become parents ourselves. After becoming parents, we observe and find out that being parents is hard and amazing at the same time. Life completely changes after becoming a parent.
There are some changes that I felt after becoming a father and almost every person feels those changes in their personality.
Motivates you to become a Better Person
Once you become a father, you start developing naturally a feeling to become a good person. This unique ambition emerges from your mind to become a perfect person and a wish arises from your heart to being followed by your son. You want your son to become the same as you.
But the trouble is you don’t consider yourself the right choice for someone to follow. So you have to fight your inner self to become the perfect person as you imagined for your son to follow.
After my son was born, I aimed to quit smoking and I got succeeded in quitting it too. I tried to quit it a few times but I failed. I wanted my son to breathe fresh air smoke-free and that was the only motivation that leads me to tobacco withdrawal.
You realize your parents love for you
It not that we have no idea how much our parents love and care for us. But there is no way to feel that warmth and depth of their love. We realize it once we become parents. When we find out how much we love our own children and care for them. Let me share with you my experience.
Once my mother was praying to God after performing namaz. She started whispering (we whisper when we pray to God) and I was able to listen to her prayer coz there was no noise in the room as it was winter and there was no noise of a fan or Air Condition. Her words of pray were “Oh Allah! Never show me that moment of sadness and grief, when I see the funeral of any of my children as it would be impossible and extremely painful to bear that loss. I pray to you to not put me on that test and take my life before seeing that moment.”.
I never realized the value of that prayer until I become a father myself.
Motivates you to think and start working for a better and stable future
When I was young there was no thought of a better future in my mind, nor did I have any worries regarding it. But I started feeling anxious and worried when I became a father. I have a dream to see my children getting quality education from well-reputed institutions and I have to be financially stable to fulfill this dream. I want my son to have all the things and all his dreams fulfilled, which unfortunately I was not able to fulfill when I was a kid.
Parenthood can teach and increase your patience level
Actually, this is my experience as a father. I was always ready to have loud arguments with my spouse which usually led us to a big verbal fight. But after becoming a father, I usually try to ignore engage in such verbal arguments because I realize it can have a negative impact on our son.
Parental conflicts can affect the mental health of a child. It's not good for a child to be raised in a stressful environment due to constant intense fighting and loud arguments.
In the end,
If you cant bring these positive changes in yourself, you must not become a parent. You must be willing to abandon that careless life once you were in your teen life.
If you don't find yourself able of nurturing and parenting a child, you must not take the step of becoming a parent to a child. Because parenting is the most important and challenging thing to do. It puts a lot of pressure and if you can't handle that pressure, don't become a parent.
Being a parent is so hard indeed, im glad that you've found joy and begins to accept the responsibility. God bless!