This love month, I want to make a different kind of articles that will make your interests on it. This ones the saddest part of our life. And the previous ones I'm sorry if it's all end to a sad ending.

This ones my hard feelings when my husband works in a far away land rather place..

Our love story I've written a few ones on here..

And our life before it was simple and happy, he was a simple farmer and a fisherman. Even our everyday is hard we manage to survive together. And He really works hard to feed us, but we didn't have our own electricity we only use candle or lamp at night. He also fetched as water in his uncles house and I pitty him because I saw him struggle. But what else can we do? We need to face this all for our children.

I feel like I don't want to continue this because im about to cry..

Do you have a relative who's work is a farmer?

Have you ever Tried to ask him how hard a farmer does before getting rice? Well I've seen one and I didn't expect that it was hard as I witness. The field must be plowed first before putting the rice seeds. My husband and his brother is really sweating because you need to step in the mud. The worst is you might step on something that will hurt your feet, some what like broken glass or wire.

Then they will plant the seelings one by one. Then after a week they need to guard it because the birds might eat it. That's the reason why scare screw was build. Then week 2 to week 3 they need to spray some dangerous chemicals so the worms or other insect will not the destroy the little rice seedlings. And they will also put some vitamins so the rice plants will become healthier and grow fast..

Then harvesting is also hard they have to mow it down with sharp knife "LILIK" and I saw my husband and his brother cut his fingers in the middle of the hot sun. They might fall down because blood was pouring all over but it end up with self medication and a little help of friend. Tie it up with cloth and put some tobacco and afterwards they'll still continue to mow the rice plants. They only stop for a while to cure the wound of my brother in law but they still need to continue.

Luckily we have now special tools to help our dear farmers to make the job a lot easier. They don't need to mow the rice field manually.

But then one day, we have to make a decision that will change our lives.

My brother in law has a regular job in Manila he was working their for decades so he was able to enter my husband there. So at first we are so happy because things might change. The salary that he will having is too much for us but he needed the requirements badly so he hesitate at first but I convinced him that he can do it. I even accompany him to make his requirements complete. Then he needed to be interviewed the company wants to him so he travel to go there. At first the city was strange to him he had extreme headaches and he lacks that self confidence so he once step backwards and told us that he don't like to work there.

But they are really forcing him. I opened that topic on him and he said "I can't afford to work hard and far if i will not see you every day."

The typing is getting hard for me

And I was once quiet but one day his brother told him that "man I was badly drunk if you'll not going tomorrow ill rather go there and had an accident " so we're done even if he dosent want he needed to go.. We been decades together we never experienced to be far away from each other but we will having that kind of journey.

Please don't laugh

Because it was only 5days and he will return home but he only had 2 days off to spend with us... that 5 days was like weeks for me, I was crying while my kids are not home, I'm used to being with him everyday and I will never regret to his face.. Im missing him badly I've got to chance to talk to him once a day and all I need to do I wait for him to come home..

We have once have a fight in the middle of his day off because I saw him change a bit. Like we have that short comings in our relationship. When his home I got myself busy with other things. And we fight with no reason.. then he told me "you forced me to work far now what's the problem?" You can stop if you want and stay with us. But he just stopped..

His now stable not consistently 5 years he had some reason to stop for months but the duty was calling him to go back and we badly need it. But one day he told me "if you just trusted me I can earn this much while being with you I have lots of plan" that's the worst I ever had..

Before I can't sleep without him I cry every night and misses him so much but now I'm not a cry baby I need to be strong because I know even things change we still loved each other. His not that showey and that makes it hard because we only see one another in 2 days so he doesn't tell me he love or misses me. But I can feel his warm hands holding mines and I know he loves me just the way I love him most.

Conclusion:

I think we're getting older so things will not be the same as before. In our 18 years together he never had been in affair with others I even told him to find someone to replace me but his the silent one. I'm telling you this because you might ask why I cried a lot if he just need to work far. His been my older brother my best friend and my every thing.. and we never got tired of seeing one another.. but that's life. We need to change to make our life and future a better one.

Thank you so much for dropping by. God bless you.