Why This Hate When They Don't Even Know Me

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Avatar for Ugomarcel
1 year ago

I believe we are all guilty of this. Most of the time we tend to judge people by our own perception of them. What we think they are or what we think they represent. Often times we fail woefully in this regards. Time was when I was at the giving end, and I wasn't too happy how it ended.

So how well do you understand the human mind? How well do you even accept the other fellow the way they try to present themselves.

Whoislimus :unsplash.com

Life in itself is complex. Dealing with the complexities of life is even more complex.

We are not omniscient. The human mind is shallow. No matter how intelligent we think we are, we lack knowledge of a lot of things. Probably, that's why Most of the times we misinterpret peoples action to mean something totally different from their original intentions.

Vitolda klein :unsplash.com

At a time, I desperately needed help. I found myself in a situation that made me so depressed. I was drowning, I could hold on to a straw to stay afloat.

I had this senior friend in my area that I believed was quite well to do and was very confident he would help me. At that time he was a picture of what every young man's dream looked like in the area.

Funny enough I was so reluctant to meet him for help initially, but when all else failed I had no other choice than to meet him.

I met him and told him my challenges and how It was a matter of life and death that he helped me. He looked at me with a sad face and told me he wouldn't be able to help me but will give me what he can afford at that moment.

He gave me some money (didn't count it) and prayed with me. I got home, counted the money and felt really bad and insulted. Imagine needing a help of $1000 and you are given $3, lol. I hated myself for going to meet him in the first place and hated him even more for mocking me.

In my shallow understanding I thought he was making mockery of my situation. I stopped talking to him, even greeting him was a problem.

At a point I stopped seeing him in the area. I later got to know he moved out to a friend's place in another area. Shockingly, I also got to know that all this while things has been terrible for him. My situation then was even better than his, when I asked for his assistance. He lost his business and other means of livelihood. Before he moved he couldn't even feed himself.

Francesco Tommasini : unsplash.com

I was heart broken. I cried miserably in my heart. Most probably what he gave me the day I asked for help, was about all he had. How wicked could I have been?

I tried looking for him but no one seems to know where he was. Till today, I can't seem to forgive myself.

This scenario plays out everyday in life as we live it. We think we know someone so well when of a truth we barely know them. We are quick to see that which our mind is telling us that we fail to see things from the other persons standpoint.

As a matter of fact some of us take others good deeds for wickedness. We go as far as complaining because what was given to us is far from what we expected. Some of us have this warped entitlement mentality.

The funniest thing is that we have not even stopped to ask ourselves the salient question, what if it was their all that they gave to us.

I have learnt, a long time ago, to always give everyone and everything the benefit of the doubt. I have also been in a reversed situation too where my widows might got nothing but hatred and attacks for me. Karma right?

It can never be over emphasised, in everything appreciation is key. I learnt this, believed this and keeps practicing this. No gift is too small.

I also learnt something which has guided me so far. When asking for help, always go with an open mind. Its one of two outcomes, yes or no. Nobody owes us anything. I never count it against anyone when they say no. After all you don't know what the situation is like with them.

Life is truly a beautiful place if we try to put our selves in other people's shoes.

Original article by me. This article first published on my blog on hive : here: ecency.com/hive-105727/@ugomarcel/why-this-hate-when-they-barely-even-know-me

All pictures taken from unsplash.com with artist names credited.

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Avatar for Ugomarcel
1 year ago