There is no currency as valuable as love. Unfortunately, this currency can’t be spent by just anyone or everyone. The saga that relationships breeds; make people shy away from the claws of love. Sadly, love is a fool, he opens doors that you thought were permanently shot.
Relationship is a course that even the best of minds (experts) fail at. Your relationship counselor have had her fair share of this pancake. In as much as the ladies want those six pacs, tall, handsome, sex active, God fearing, intelligent, loving and most importantly rich men, they keep kissing frogs until their stumble the desired Prince Charming. It is an indubitable fact that the result poses no different for the male counterparts. They have expectations too.
Most times, we take the experiences of a past relationship into present ones, which is partly a good thing but when the lessons learnt from the previous relationships are wrongly applied, it becomes toxic to the good thing you've got going on. The beauty of a relationship doesn't lie in bagging up all your expectations in a person. The beauty lies in striving together as a blank slate, trying to understand each other. We are all flawed MEN.
Hence, we are bond to hang a beautiful canvas of imperfection on our shoulders. I'm not an advocate of bullshit. So, I’m not saying you should take bullshit from him or her in the name of love; neither am I saying you shouldn't.
Therefore, It is wise to understand that the concept of a relationship is oneness and as such, it is worthwhile to live with the fact that you are not trying to understand another person or taking bullshit from another person but yourself. It's more like you are living with the consequences of your actions; only here, you are living with the consequences of another man or woman’s action because he is you and you are her.
Instead of asking yourself, “what it is a woman or man wants?,” why not ask yourself how far you will be willing to go to make things work. God forbid I preach the gospel of money is not important in a relationship. Money is the real deal, but is sex not a big deal? Is the fear of God not? Is intelligence not a big deal? What happened to the character?.
Let’s also put a peg on the head of requirements needed in a relationship. You would agree with me that the desires/demands in a relationship are endless. Nonetheless, that doesn't mean you can't have an amazing relationship. You are amazing the way you are, but you see, the problem is, you try to re-brand and assume a different personality just to suit that woman or man you assume to be a dream come true.
Most people are in a relationship to manage the situation, trying to fit in. The man doesn't want a natural woman and then, “boom!!, ” She hits the salon/cosmetics, all made up for the occasion. A woman tells you, she is not the churchy type and you try as much as possible to avoid religious conversations, in as much as you know it's not who you are.
What are you doing?
It's understandable, you want to be loved, but one can't truly love you without knowing the real you. Yes! You have been through some real shit and most likely come across some amazing people and lost them in the process of being you, but you shouldn't forget in the process of all this personal chaos, that you are someone else's amazing person. So, why settle for less?
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It is undebatable that you just might be messing up with the chances or possibilities of you meeting that one person who would cherish you for who you are by being stuck in that joke you have settle for a reality.
The best relationships house coins of pains
Families fight, yet they are blood ties, yea? You know what that means, right? So, why are you in demand of so much from a person who is from a different background and upbringing? Yes, there is more to a relationship than love but that more is still motivated by love, almost all the time. Look around you, the moment you make the decision to cling onto another person, you shouldn't expect your world to remain the same. Changes must occur.
Hence, it is worthy to note that your parents, as in, your father and mother's life encountered a change which they adjusted to the moment you were born. Invariably, you should know that the presence of another person in your life will flame the course of change too. Don't quote me wrong, I'm not saying you should adjust in the process and forget who you are or let your dreams revolve around him or her.
Materialism is a bird with wings, without dreams.
It is important to note that most relationships out there are motivated by money. Am I saying it wrongly? Well, It's a major factor to be considered. We should all be financially free, so as to rid ourselves of financial crises. Although, is that all to it? Once local man ( a local parlance in the Nigerian language, meaning; a man) stumbles upon wealth, he feels he is ready and capable to dine in the pool of a relationship. It begs the question, “ Is he psychologically prepared for the saga that comes with it or will the money see him through the hurdles of life? Does she even want to know if he is ready when the money is staring at her face?
The concept of different strokes for different folks
We are not engineered with the same mindset. Hence, some women doesn't want your money but the sex is everything. On this one, there are quite a number of girls out there who would tell you to hell with your money but would dance to your tone, in as much as you are fire down there. Let's ask ourselves this, “What becomes of the woman when he or she isn't sexually active anymore? Now that you guys are married, will you abandon the man or divorce him? I guess that's why divorce cases are skyrocketing, right?
I mean, a number of things could go wrong, accident for one and the lost of the touch (he might grow tired of you) Don't advertise love if deep down there you know it won't work out fine. Don't rush into a relationship neglecting the vital signs. You know him or her isn't your kind of person: He hits you and treats you later like a queen. She disrespects you in front of friends and family. He sleeps with anything underskirt but wants to marry you so you stay mute and claim he loves you? No, he doesn't. He wants someone who he can call his and explore other worlds.
In conclusion, there is no advice that would perfect your present relationship, if it's as terrible as it goes, Japa ( This is a Yoruba word meaning; to flee). Remember that it is better to have a broken relationship than a broken marriage. If you have a good thing going, don't stop doing those things that are pivoting the affairs in your favour. Remember, what might work for Mr. A might not work for Mr. B, so don't go about craving for a perfect thing and ruin the beautiful thing you've got going on.
Thank you for reading. Do have a blissful day ahead. I remain Tyelev: anything the mind conceives can be achieved.
Its funny how people think there is a manual for love because certain procedures worked for them. Like you've said there is no one true way to follow, or one hand book to use, just do you!