Impostor syndrome
Bury your cage, own your success. Trust the process
Impostor syndrome?
Do you ever feel like you are not as competent as people say you are? Do you attribute your success and achievements to sheer luck sometimes? Do you berate your own expertise? What are you scared of? What would you do differently if you weren’t afraid?
Sometimes, we don’t even realize how hard we are on ourselves. The world is already hostile, the least you can do for yourself is to be friends with your dreams and be your own fan.
Impostor syndrome is something that one out of three individuals will suffer from, at least once in a lifetime. What exactly is Impostor syndrome? It’s that feeling of self-sabotage; feeling like you are not competent enough, it is what makes you feel like several people are doing better than you are, so why should you even bother to try?
You know that feeling that makes you start something new, only to give up when you haven’t gone far? Just because you think you are not capable enough.. Sending you warm Hugs, you are not alone, we have all been there.
The impostor syndrome is not just a killer of your dreams, it chips away your self-confidence. If you are not careful, you begin to give up on your dreams because you think there are others out there who are “made for it.”
What makes you think you are not cut out for the kind of life you want? So, what if you are not exceptional at what you do? What if you end up making thousands of mistakes? What if there are thousands of writers out there who are more expressive than you are? What if others do it better? So what? Is that all? Why should you care?
Do you know why you shouldn’t care? There are billions of people in this world and your voice deserves to be heard, it may be faint, but the world has to listen. This is why that voice in your head constantly sabotaging you needs to go mute. The interesting part of it is that nobody can shut that voice up except you.
We all struggle with this impostor syndrome, it’s not visible, but it’s a parasite.
How much of your dreams are you willing to feed this parasite? Do You feel like an impostor? like you would soon be found out and punished because you may not be the person everyone believes you are? This feeling is often accompanied by comparison, procrastination, and self-doubt.
The most evident symptom of impostor syndrome is self-sabotage. You know when you are doing something great, and even those who do not like you can’t help but say “You are really exceptional at what you do”. But, that coconut head of yours keeps telling you that “you are not even that good, you are just lucky they like what you do.”
So many times, we talk down on ourselves and we refuse to see just how good we are. While the impostor syndrome majorly tackles your achievements and is mostly related to your work and career, you must know that it has a lot to do with harboring negative thoughts too.
I remember a particular time when I would ghostwrite E-books and not go back to it until further notice. I would later go back to it after a while, but I would sabotage myself and sometimes have to rewrite a whole chapter. I know this helps most writers because most creative people are perfectionists. However, you have to know exactly when you are being meticulous and when you are at war with yourself.
Impostor syndrome is never the same as being humble, don’t think you are being humble by refusing to acknowledge your success and achievements.
Yes, there are several people out there who are better at what you do, but you must let yourself grow. Self-doubt has made several people become less productive. Own your success, you have come a long way, you are doing great, there’s a long way to go, but you are killing it. You are badass at what you do, you don’t even owe anyone perfection; go forth and make mistakes.
What’s wrong with internalizing your success? I always say this a lot; if you feel like you are good at something and you can help people with your knowledge, you don’t even need a certificate to do that. I know a lot of creatives who can’t talk about certain topics because they feel they are not capable or are not in the position to talk about those things.
Nobody really cares about your certificate; can you solve problems with your knowledge?
Imagine trying to lose weight, then you find a fitness coach who is willing to coach you, would you ask for their certificate? You are only interested in losing weight and as long as that person is willing to solve that problem, you don’t give two shits about their certificate.
There are times I want to talk about relationship issues, but I would ask myself “Have you been married before? Do you have any relevant relationship experience? What do you know?”. Lol, these are some of the things we tell ourselves, these things pull us back and limit us in ways we don’t even realize.
That being said, whether or not I’m in a relationship, I would still talk about anything I want people to learn from. If you don’t like it, you can go and start your own blog. Thanks a lot and God bless us.
How do you combat the impostor syndrome?
First of all, you must accept that you are scared of not meeting expectations and also admit that you sometimes feel incapable and feel like an impostor.
Secondly, don’t talk down on yourself no matter how tempting it seems. I know how you sometimes feel like wearing your insecurities like a badge so that people don’t shame you for it. It’s like saying “I have already shamed myself, you cannot shame the shameless”. Don’t do this to yourself, don’t downplay your expertise. Don’t do it to appease anyone’s ego or make yourself feel better.
No matter how scared you are, don’t stop working on yourself and doing what you love. Don’t be scared of mistakes, you do not have to get it right in one day. Let yourself grow.
Learn to accept constructive criticisms, but do not let anyone project their insecurities on you.
Lastly, you may be really scared but do it anyway. Write that book, shoot that skit, apply for that job. What if you fail? What if you win? You would never know, unless you try.
