The girl who I blocked.

Dear February 06, 2022
Sunday sunnies

Good evening! I wish everyone's doing good, and you all are having a joyful moment, even if you are not then be thankful for the situation you are going through because it will definitely make you a warrior.

I wouldn't forget to be thankful to those who considered sponsoring me.

So, let's come to our topic about which I mentioned yesterday that there was a girl whom I liked and then I walked away.

It happened as if in just one look I liked her because she was pretty and dumb in her studies well being dumb in studies is not a criterion I am a fan of but I just mentioned it here. I used to watch her daily in a class where I enrolled myself after passing class 12th just to acquire a little more knowledge so it was like this only I used to watch but I never talked to her.

I always have been so shy to talk to girls, because of numerous reasons- I am an overthinker so I create various situations in my head and maybe another reason was I have studied from a military school and there was no exposure to any girls of me to them as there was so little vacation I get to spend at home and when I am on vacation I also was not interested in girls living nearby. But, I am not shy anymore I overcome all of it.

So how do I start talking to her?

It happened as if I was going to sleep at 0200 hours in the peaceful silence of midnight where the only sound was of my fan rotating at its full speed, I thought why don't I install Instagram on my phone and look for her, and at the same time I must say that I am not a fan of searching people on any social media because searching people on social media is like searching a needle in the haystack but still I downloaded that Instagram ( by the way I only like to use WhatsApp but lately I lost all interest even using that too).

I logged into my account and then I typed her name in the search bar no surprise you will find a lot of people with the same name and when you want to find a girl the account is mostly private in 90+ % of the case but anyway the only chance is to identify in just a little glimpse from the icon of the profile so luckily when the result of people with the same name as her popped in front of me I immediately looked at the second ID because it looked a little familiar with her face but the icon was so small anyway, I send her follow request and went to sleep.

Did she accept the request?

Of course, she accepted the request which I noticed in the morning while I was leaving home to that class and I didn't send anything or maybe I send good morning (it is 3-year-old incident so I do not recall actually). We started talking to each other and I started like this "can we be friends?" she replied something affirmative I do not remember at all. We started talking and then I jumped into studying topics because I was topper and she was little not so good in the studies so I end up talking like I can help you and I want you to focus on your studies, ( Only I realised lately in my life that never say anything or impose your thoughts on anyone ).

What happened then?

We only used to talk in Instagram only and not physically in class and there was a frindsip day one day and a friend of mine said give her a friendship band or something beautiful to which I replied to him I ain't giving any thing to anyone. But one day I challenged myself that if I wouldn't go and talk to her then it will mean that I am not a courageous person.

(I walked into the gallery as it was lunch time and she was outside there)

Me: Excuse me! I want to talk to your friend for a little. (their friends gave me a look)

(she was in her friends group of 4 girls)

She: I am busy right now we can talk later (smilingly)

Me: yes

I then went and sit on a bench which was there in the gallery and I called to a friend of mine who was in another class busy with his girlfriend haha I said to him what are you doing come outside, I am waiting he said NoT NOW my girlfriend and I are doing something I said come now what the heck wrong with you. And while I was talking to him on phone that girl came to me and said (smilingly) say what do you want to say. I said to her just a minute and I said bye to my friend and put the phone in my pocket.

Me: well, I have got so many things to say but when I am speaking with you I just forget everything.

She: (blushed a little well more than a little or fully blushed )

Me: But, since we are already talking in physical now I can speak to you anytime.

She: of course, you can talk to me amytime.

Me: You go on continue with your frineds.

We were talking normally for almost 10-15 days and I had an exam in 1.5 months upcoming so I thought I will first get clarification whether she is really interested in me or not because I do not wanted to waste my time for some things which at the end of the day wouldn't add into something productive. At the same time I was sitting in library after the class was over and my friend was also sitting beside me and his girlfriend beside him, I opened my insta and I saw that she uploaded a story on insta with his boyfriend which was an old photo and the caption was "completing 2 year anniversary happily" I was like what is so wrong with this young generation kids they are celebrating anniversary without getting married or anything there's definitely some haystack in their little brain.

Then, I studied till 1900 hours in library and proceeded to home.

I then messaged to her in the night with the mindset to get the whole damn clarification of what she is up to,

I messaged her "Hello"

SHE: Hii

Me: what are you doing?

She: nth n wbu?

Me: (My whole mind was blank with what does these 3 letters mean, I went on internet searched what is 'nth n wbu'? Unfortunately I did not get any result)

What is "nth n wbu"?

She: nothing and what about you

Me: (In my mind oh my gosh at what level the world is learning a new language)

I was just going to sleep.

You had dinner?

She: yes

Me: I want to say something
She: ok

Me: I like you
She: OK

Everyone likes me

Plus nobody hates me

Me: (Now my ego was on top level and my temper got me and I was like what the dammn thing is that I am not everyone and not everyone is me, but I controlled myself and didn't say anything)

Good night

SHe: Good night

The next day in the morning I blocked her and said to myself I still have 1.5 months left for my exam let's focus on it.

I stopped talking to her, But I noticed she wanted to like say something to me and wanted to talk, but I just keep on ignoring her. She started sitting around me in the class. She even starts sitting away from girls and always manage to find an empty seat around me. But she never get enough courage what she has in her mind and I never talked to her ever. She started getting much stupidier in her acts and I was like, the girl who can't b honest about her feelings for her boyfriend with who she was posting a story of completing 2 year anniversary does not deserve to talk to me.

Also, I do not used to understand what the emojis mean which she used to sent her and still today I do not know which emojis are used for what purpose.

That's all happened.
I never unblocked her.

Good night.

Thank you for your time.