No Sacrifice

Have you ever noticed that time is sometimes like cotton candy- you only really get the taste of it after it has melted, but by then it's all gone?

Yesterday I wrote a post about My Favorite Things and that made me extremely nostalgic, listening to the song.

Do you remember things from a particular period in your life based on the music you might have listened to or heard during that time? I do. I can't explain it, but when I hear music from an era, memories from that time comes rushing back. And so, as I listened to songs from the Sound of Music, I was once again stepping back through time and reliving long-buried experiences- in a good way, of course.

The thing is, memories of the past are like water color paints. They don't capture the full essence of your every experience. In fact, when nostalgia grips you, you can forget the breadth of emotions you felt during a period, and just hold on to the outline of the ones that were most important to you.

And I'll confess, guys, I've had to realign what was important to me, the things I wanted to dip into yesterday's bag for and bring forward into the present. And while I speak about this in the first person, I hope this can reach someone else out there as well.

In the past, when I reflected on yesterdays, I brought forward pain and anguish, but doing so, carting around those memories helped no one. It was like I would be running around with a huge gash on my hand and shoving that hand in everyone's face and going, can you see my cut? It hurts, owie!

The thing is, some people can't see blood, can't stand to look at cuts, and so when they see me coming dripping blood everywhere, they'll get queasy, you know what I'm saying?

And then I'd be hurt because I'd feel shunned, and then I'd be angry or feel betrayed and the entire cycle would just start all over again. And at some point, I had to stop and step back and realize everyone did not want to talk about my cut, but it didn't mean that everyone did not want me to heal. I simply needed to take my cut to the people who were trained to treat it.

Anyways, with that perspective and with time, I appreciated better that there's a whole range of emotions one experiences during a period and I embraced the fact that I could choose which experiences to carry forward.

And so, yesterday, I was driving around the Savannah in my country, heading to my son's football match and I heard the Dua Lipa/ Elton John remix Cold Heart, and guys, it took me all the way back to the days when I would, as a child, sit in the back seat of my aunt's car, lean against the windows, look outside, and innocently sing along to the original song, Sacrifice, not looking for a meaning to the lyrics, but simply carried along by the melody.

This song reminds me of coconut trees. Growing up, I lived in a hilly community. Our house stood on one hill and my horizons were framed by others.

To the west where the sun set, there was a line of coconut trees, and as a child, I knew that when the sun dipped behind the coconut trees, it was time to head inside, all adventures were over for the day.

With no branches, the coconut tree was not the easiest to climb. You had to grip the trunk between your legs and shimmy up to the top where the coconuts would grow in clusters. Still, while getting to the top of the tree wasn't the easiest, the coconut tree is arguably one of the most versatile trees there is. You can use almost every part of the tree for something.

For food

We would cut the coconut and drink the slightly sweetish water. We would cut it open and scoop out the jelly which was slippery and yummy.

When the coconut was dry, we would grate the hardened insides to make coconut milk, which we would use to flavor our dishes like peas or even pelau, which was like a mixed dish of peas, rice, chicken, and vegetables like carrots and sweet peppers and celeries, etc. We would also use the grated bits to make sugar cakes or even coconut bakes which were delicious.

For moisturizers

Sometimes, people would make oil from the coconuts. This oil can either be used to cook or some people used coconut oil as a moisturizer for their skin and even oiled their hair with it. Today, you'd even find coconut oil in shampoos.

As utensils

The shell of the dried coconut could be used as hoards to dip water from barrels and tanks.

For art

Some people carve really artistic pieces from coconut shells.

Bending but not uprooting

When storms come by, the coconut tree is so flexible, it bends under the pressure of the wind but very often does not snap when stronger and sturdier trees are felled. It takes cyclone type winds to uproot a well-planted coconut tree.

Today, as I sit in the driver's seat of my car and I drive around the Savannah listening to Dua Lipa and Elton John's remix, I chuckle because I understand the meaning of the song now and I laugh at the naivete of my youth.

Yet the melody seeps into my mind and I think of coconut trees framing my horizon, and I think of the subliminal message that just that image signalled though I didn't understand it at the time: that storms may come, and that sometimes one may not be able to stand tall to withstand the pressure of the wind, one may be forced bend, but it is important to still hold true, hold faith, stay rooted.

For, as a parent, I am now one of the trees that frames the horizon of my children's world.

And so, to hold faith and stay rooted through life's storms for their sake, well, that's no sacrifice, no sacrifice, no sacrifice at all.