Friendship: Why You Should Maximize Your Cycle.

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Avatar for Tonycrux
3 years ago

To me a friend is a person you know well and regard with trust. Friendship have to do with *knowing and trust*. It also mean an associate who provides cooperation or assistance. Or a person with whom you are acquainted.

To maximize means to make the most of a thing, to take useful advantage of something.

In knowing how to maximize your cycle, we will be looking at the types of friends. You as an individual will also know the type of friend you are. Also when you know the type of friends, you will know the category where your current friends belong and how to go about it.

Type of friends

Commensalist Friends.

This is the type of friends/friendship where one part or one person obtains care, ideas, food (spritual and physical) support,helps or shelter from the other friend. In this type of friendship, it's only one person *(Friend A)* that provides everything that *friend B* need. All what friend B is doing is depending on friend A. Without rendering any support.

Parasitic friends

You see this type of friends/friendship sends the victim to zero. (back to zero point). Chop and clean mouth. The parasitic friends nourishes him/herself to the disadvantage of the other friend.

These are friends that issue of life can't be trusted with, because they either help to announce (blow) it to world or use it against you. This type of friends don't see the things of the spirit as a must. The Spiritual, physical,mental,fiancial,moral,academic growth of their friends is non of their business. Everything about them is *me, myself and I*

Parasitic friends are birthed from corruptible seeds(earthly/material things). They are always not available when you need them to help mostly especially in prayers/fasting.

Now to the type of friend, I wish we could and will become.

A Mutual friend

Is where both friends *(friend A and Friend B)* benefits from the friendship. I love and cherish this type of friends 💯. Friends like blood, like a family.

Sincerely this is the best type of friendship to keep, where iron sharpens iron. When you are slumbering spiritually and your friend is tapping/waking you. Where you are succor to each other. Where you both celebrate the good times and other times.

A type of friendship where you complete one another. Mutual friends sometimes are more caring, concerned than relatives (but blood is thicker than water so don't neglect your relatives because you have a mutual friend ).

And that the case of David and Jonathan. I so much love their friendship.

1 samuel 20. But let's look at some verses

Verse 3 : And David sware moreover, and said, Thy father certainly knoweth that I have found grace in thine eyes; and he saith, Let not Jonathan know this, lest he be grieved: but truly as the LORD liveth, and as thy soul liveth, there is but a step between me and death.

Verse 4 :Then said Jonathan unto David, Whatsoever thy soul desireth, I will even do it for thee.

Mutual friends will always do anything to keep you in line/Gods path

Verse 9: And Jonathan said, Far be it from thee: for if I knew certainly that evil were determined by my father to come upon thee, then would not I tell it thee?

Now let me ask us this questions

1) What type of friend are you?

2) What type of friends do you keep?

3)What are your plans for your friend

Please if you don't have plans for your friends. Please start having one now. Plans/mind that even your generations will benefit from. Plans in which both of you will be solutions to generations.

1) Take a genuine interest in them.

Dale Carnegie, author of How to Win Friends and Influence People, said, “You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get people interested in you.”

One of the things that makes friendships sweet,intersting and last long is having interest in whatever you friend is doing. And that is why it's good to make friends/have friends with the same mind.

As you listen to and show an interest in what is important to a friend, you begin to truly love and understand them. Every person (friend)has an invisible sign around his or her neck that reads, “I want to feel important.”

Everyone has something to offer this world. We need to search for it, find it, and bring it to the surface.

2) Be a giver, not a taker

Ask not what your friends can give to you but rather what you can give to your friends.

What can we give to others? ... This reminds me of one of my neighbors then, this sister's smile always make happy. Shes always smiling

How about a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, help with an errand, a prayer, an encouraging note, a meal e.t.c. We can come up with many things to give others if we are willing to be attentive to their needs.

To know someone’s needs, you must take a genuine interest in the person first. Giving may take time. It may take us out of our way. But giving and self-sacrifice are part of the definition of love.

3) Be loyal.

Loyalty is a rare commodity in today’s world, but it’s an absolute requirement in true and abiding friendships. When we are loyal to one friend, we prove ourselves worthy of many. One way we show our loyalty is through our words or lack thereof. In fact, a key to being loyal is keeping a tight rein on our tongues. If we’re loyal, we won’t tear a friend down behind her back or share her personal story without her permission. It’s easy to gossip or pass judgment; it’s much harder to keep silent.

Marsh Sinetar said: “When you find yourself judging someone, silently say to yourself, ‘They are doing the best they can right now.’ Then mentally forgive yourself for judging.”

As positive women, we need to make sure our tongues are used for good and not evil. We should be builders with our words, not demolishers.

Jealousy, envy, and a range of other negative emotions can keep us from being loyal. But true loyalty overcomes all of them.

Let's look at Jonathan and David.

Jonathan had reason to be jealous of his friend, David. Jonathan was King Saul’s son and in line to succeed his father to the throne, but God anointed David to be the next king instead. At the same time, David easily could have been angry with Jonathan. Jonathan’s father, the king, chased David out of the country and tried to kill him. Yet these two men pledged their loyalty in friendship and never wavered from it. Eventually Jonathan saved David’s life, and David continued to show his loyalty to his friend by watching out for Jonathan’s son.

Jealousy, envy, bitterness, and anger are all sisters in sin and killers of loyalty in relationships. But if we continually take these emotions to God and ask for his help in overcoming them, we can remain loyal to our friends through the thick and thin of life.

4) Be a positive person.

We all want our friendships to be positive and uplifting and that means we must be positive and uplifting friends ourselves.

It has been said that there are two kinds of people: those who brighten the room when they enter, and those who brighten the room when they leave. Let’s make sure we’re brightening our friendships with our presence.

Positive women demonstrate an attitude and a spirit that sees God at work in all of life and encourages others to see him too. They are generous with praise, with smiles, and with love.

Francis Bacon said: “Friendship doubles joys and halves griefs.”

5) Appreciate the differences in others.

Variety is the spice of life. God created people with a variety of personalities, talents, and interests. Each one of us is a unique creation. Mixed together we blend to form the body of Christ.

I always wonder why instead of appreciating our differences as friends, we tend to despise them or become jealous of them?

6) Build on common interests.

I want us to know that there are things that brings friends together in the first place. There is usually something that draws us to others. It can be Bible study, been in the same unit in the church/ or same department in school/work place e.t.c

Therefore we should build on what brings about our friendship.

7) Be open, honest, and real.

The word hypocrite originally described actors on a stage who covered their faces with masks to conceal their real identities. Today the word describes people who pretend to be something they’re not.

True friendship cannot be built on false images. We must be true to ourselves.

We may think we have to present a faultless picture of ourselves to the rest of the world, because no one wants to be friends with someone who is not perfect!

We simply need to be our best selves and allow people to know the real us. Being open and honest doesn’t mean spilling our guts to everyone.

As we already know, loyalty is a rare commodity; when we find it, we know we have a friend we can trust someone with whom we can share openly about our deepest issues and feelings

George Washington said *"“Be courteous to all, but intimate with few; and let those few be well tried before you give them your confidence. True friendship is a plant of slow growth and must undergo and withstand the shocks of adversity before it is entitled to the appellation.”*

Pastor Segun Onayinka said "Always be grateful for that friendship that covers your shame and inadequacies. It's worth the whole world and very rare these days".

Be that friend too

Thanks for reading

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Avatar for Tonycrux
3 years ago