@Tomi-Ajax 13 September 2022 more from that month

Waterloo!

Every day it seems I am meeting my waterloo. Doing the right things at the right time is always a struggle. Now I perfectly understand why they say the battle is never-ending because it isn't. Every day, I wake up to the urge to laze the day away. "***Not again***," I keep on shouting. Every day I keep telling myself that tomorrow would be better. *Maybe I just saying this to console myself and not to give up.* But time waits for no man. "***Start now***," but no, "***I am too exhausted,***" I keep telling myself. "***I can make amends next week,***" I often iterated to myself. Then a new week starts, the beginning is always with high hopes and optimism, and then it begins to derail like a doomed train. "***Again!***" I cried as I lament about the wasted week. I will reply, "***I try again next week or tomorrow."*** A cycle But in reality, I am just tired of repeating this cycle it seems I am not making headways, it seems I am just living and not existing. That's scary. How do I deal with thoughts like these or situations? It seems I can't get past the pain and anguish I am experiencing. **I don't want to go down like Napoleon Bonaparte, who went down after the battle at waterloo.** **I want to keep on fighting and achieve victories like Alexander the Great who conquered every territory on his path until he breathe his last**. One more chance Every day I wish I can improve in every aspect but they seem like wishes. No, I don't want wishes rather I want changes and improvement. I try to keep pushing every day, but most new days start on the wrong foot I don't just know why. **I often hear that starting today isn't late but every today has turned to yesterday and every tomorrow has turned to today**. Gosh! It seems I am running out of time. Is it too late to make amend is it too late? Start doing everything right. Can I fix everything at once? Oh, I should know better, it is often said that we should take one step at a time, but I'm tired of trekking because It seems I am not moving when compared to others. Oh, it said that we shouldn't compare. Yes, I know. But what should I do when I see the accolades flying to different people around me? And yet I haven't been able to move a block. Oh, worrying doesn't solve anything, yes I know that. But what do you do, when your chest is inflated with worries already? How do I deflate the worries in my mind? How do I make myself go to bed with a smile and say, "***oh today was great and I know tomorrow would be better***." Maybe I am too skeptical of myself and the person I see in the mirror. Maybe I should stop seeking solace and rather start building my own roof where I can rest my head. How do I build a roof when there are no building materials around? How do I expect people to believe in me when I don't believe in myself? **Oh boy, I don't know what to say any further. I think I should give the next day a trial, until then I'm not giving up.** Hey guys don't forget to follow me on 🙏 Hive 👉 **Tomi-Ajax** https://ecency.com/@tomiajax *Still the same username and the same profile picture.* **I'm sorry, that lately I haven't been able to read or visit your post. Pardon me and thank you for always reading** *Lead image by* *Elijah Hiett* *on Unsplash* https://unsplash.com/@elijahdhiett