It's hard for me to be judged by others.

Don’t judge, nobody has it easy, everybody has problems. You never know what people are going through. So before you start judging, criticizing or mocking others, remember everybody is fighting their own battle.

Everyday is an opportunity to have a fresh start. It doesn’t matter what happened yesterday; all that counts is today. Our article for today is about judging other people na hindi dapat.

There’s a time when some relatives of my niece (her mother's side) judged me directly without knowing the truth first. My niece got hospitalized for the second time. I created group chats (GC) to send and make it easy for me to give feedbacks and updates about our status at the hospital because I'm tired of making a reply for them one by one since I was quite busy assisting my bedridden patient, our group chat named “Mylene admitted at San Pedro”. After 2 weeks we were discharged from the hospital due to SEPTIC SHOCK SEPSIS INFECTION. One of my friends told me that there is a chat issue from one of my niece's relatives (the wife of her uncle's), also a member of the said GC. and when I opened the message and saw it in my two eyes how my niece's aunt treated me like I'm the one to blame for their financial crisis or financial problems due to my niece's hospitalization.

I was feeling so dumb down the moment after I finished reading the message (Yung feeling na gumuho ang mundo mo at kusa na lang tumulo mga luha ng mata ko). I've been crying the whole day thinking about all my sacrifices and asking God for more strength for me to overcome this negativity and to always be positive . I want to share this feeling to my mom for me to get some comfort but still I can't. I don't want my mom to be involved in this kind of situation because I for sure it will hurt her feelings.

I Truly got depressed the whole week asking myself why? Why is this happening to me? Why do they come up with those kinds of words? I just did my part to save someone's life when no one else did. So sad. I just saved my niece's life. Which part do I do wrong? Why? Why? Why?. because of the MONEY? We can earn the money, Nagiisa lang ang buhay ng tao. Life is precious, life is short. mali ba ang tumulong? Mali ba ang mag malasakit?. Ako na nga malasakit in the end ako pa pala ang may mali! What? Others said to me it's because I was brought here to the private hospital. They don't know the sense of urgency. The patient collapsed and her skin color turned to purple or something dark blue, pale skin and nausea and vomiting.

I feel bad for my niece because she didn’t know this was happening. But she felt lately that there was something bothering me. I just told her bawal ka ma stress huwag muna alamin mga toxic sa buhay ko hehe. If someday she knows this, this will hurt her for sure. Because she knows all my sacrifices to be with her battle. She really appreciates my sacrifice as she said she will always be thankful and grateful to me. What a lovely message from her and that's all I want to hear above all.

I can't change how people feel about me, people may destroy my image, stain my personality but they can take away my good deeds because no matter how they describe me, I will still be admired by those who really care and know me better. So That's why I didn't try to defend myself to anyone who treats me badly. I want to relieve stress because I already have a lot these past few days. It's time to just be happy. Being angry, sad and overthinking isn’t worth it anymore. Just let things flow and stay positive. (Ma stress rako mag sigi huna-huna nila.) they still send me some bad chats, like if something happens to my niece, they want me to eat the body. (kainin ko daw) because I'm the one who brought her to the hospital from there home in Sinuda. That's why I left the said group chat & blocked the negative people on my facebook. Ayaw kuna silang patulan pa. Because Negativity can affect my health. Never forget that walking away from something unhealthy is brave.

Way back where the patient started with her struggle she had symptoms of fluid retention, swelling (edema) of extremities and shortness of breath. No one from her family who's planning to bring my niece to the hospital, instead they bring her to the albularyo a folk doctor. Because they were scared in the hospital because of COVID-19, They said they didn’t know how to deal inside the hospital, they didn't know how to ride a jeepney in the City. They have a lot of reasons. Despite this, her daughter suffers more pain. Kong Hindi lang talaga ako na awa sa pamangkin ko (2nd degree niece) iwan ko lang talaga Kong buhay pa Siya Ngayon. I just did my part to help her out of her pain.

I don't know why they're acting and thinking like that. For me life is more important than their ego, than money. Until one day of rest from work we do visit her in our province to see her status and I found it difficult for her to breathe due to her lungs almost full of water inside. I can't imagine how hard her situation was. She will sleep in the sitting position due to her lungs full of water. I just volunteered to be her watcher because no one from her family wants to be with her at the hospital. She still has both parents, 1 sister, a teacher with 3 kids and 1 brother working in the private company with 1 child. Since then, I have felt bad for my niece. Life is too short. That's why I have no doubt I volunteered to be with mylene in the hospital without asking permission from my husband. I ask for leave from my work until I resigned. nagmamalasakit lang naman ako. Why am I the one who is blamed for money? It's just money, we earned it again. but life is precious, life is too short to be taken for granted.

I just can’t understand their mindset. If one member of the family needs urgent help. Why is it hard for us to be with them, they are our family. Diba dapat we do all the best that we can. We can earn the money, but the life is hard to recover, lalo pag oras na ang ating kalaban. When you wake up in the morning, know that today is full of opportunities waiting to be grabbed. Is a new day, a new start. The beginning of new life awaits you.

As of now my niece is still continuing her dialysis treatment 3 times a week due to renal kidney failure. I always keep in my mind that everything happens for a reason. I know God has a purpose for everything. Di niya ito hayaang mangyarin kong walang dahilan. That's why I decided to take some rest to take care of myself. I am 4 years married with 3 adopted children but still waiting to have my own baby soon, but sadly I'm also struggling with my own battle (I have PCOS) . I have Polycystic Ovary Syndrome. Despite all the challenges in my life, I'm still assisting my niece with her medications, food intake but not totally 100% care di tulad nong nasa hospital kami I give my 100% support to her and her family. I also have my own family to be cared for. It's has never been a selfish to out yourself first. People will appreciate you would understand you despite what you can only offer you will matter. It's ok to take a little break. Because I need to protect my peace of mind & heart. That's all for today. May God bless us all.

Let's eat, this is my breakfast for today. The fruitful life is a unique look at the fruits of the spirit. Eat healthy and be happy.

Have faith in God, no matter how hard things get, always trust God. lift everything to him. Let God handle things you can’t control and trust him in all your plans.

Thank you for reading my story. 
Always think positive, and 
the rest will follow.  

Have a great day readcash team. To my likers And commenters Thank you so much for helping me out here on readcash and spending time reading my STORIES & RECIPES of the day. This is me @TigerBCH willing to share with you my stories.

I want to connect with other people while enjoying reading different stories, different recipes and ect. see you at the next story. God bless everyone.

Date Published: July 23, 2022